Music Within

I want to experience every decibel of your heartbeat
Let it hit me
Let it teach me how to love in silence, direct me
Instruct
Me on how to duck tape mine to the speakers of your heart
Move
Move me to the rhythm of your spirit
Soothe all that’s bruised with your hearts groove
To dance in the spirit realm
Listening to tales told by the moon
Sold by the hooves kicking the ground to the dust
Lost in melodies released
In shouts and screams
Beyond the gathering place of dreams
Where enchanted figures skate on the icing on the cake
Where the greatest teacher, never late, awaits
The director of music moving chords to the temple
I want to take notes and paste them on my lungs so I may breathe the music of your soul
And tunes
Follow the rhythm moved by your soles of shoes and feet, to beat and defeat hate
You have to understand this song I want to learn
From no one
But you see that it moves the world
This piece is called love

ApThePoet

I love Cape Town

I love Cape Town through and through;
Perfect place for me and you.
Smell her history in the air;
See her beauty everywhere.

Not too hard to get around;
Many treasures to be found.
Friendly people that you meet;
Always kind and quick to greet.

I Wish That You Were Here

I wish that you were so close for me to run my fingers along your jawline.
I wish that you were here so that we could both colour and draw imaginary lines;
And argue, and dance to silence, and laugh.

I wish that you were so close for me to jump on your back whilst you cook our dinner.
I wish that you were here so that we could discuss work, and politics, and soccer, and music;
And argue, and dance to silence, and laugh.

I wish that you were so close for me to tell you about art, parks, poetry, and coffee.
I wish that you were here to watch me pee, and make fun of me;
And argue, and dance to silence, and laugh.

I wish that you were so close for me to sit on you, block your view whilst you watch your favourite channel.
I wish that you were here to twist my nose and tell me that it’s cute;
And argue, and dance to silence, and laugh.

I wish that you were so close for me to step on your feet whilst we hold each other with locked eyes.
I wish that you were here so that we could switch on the television and ignore it;
And argue, and dance to silence, and laugh.

I wish that you were so close for us to love each other unconditionally and hate each other at the same time.
I wish that you were here for us to argue, and dance to silence, and laugh;
And argue, and dance to silence, and laugh.

Dear baby – (Something Casual)

I’m sitting on the bed trying to sort out our clothes and shoes; we both know that this is crucial.
The room is a mess; everything is everywhere as usual.
The bed has just started to vibrate; it’s your phone, it’s ringing – something casual.

“Something Casual” is the identity of the caller.
“Something Casual”, I’m thinking to myself, it should be your doctor.
I’m trying to figure out if it’s safe to answer but a note just fell from your drawer.
It reads, “I miss you, my mauler”

Now I’m holding your phone but my mind is on the note.
“Something casual” can wait, right? They’re not a cow or a goat;
Because, you meet with them every time when you put on that cute coat.
Stoat. Stoat. Stoat!

“Something casual” just texted; open quote -I miss you baby- end of quote.
Now I’m standing here holding this note, your phone, and my soul in my hands like a lost boat.
I can’t breathe; something (maybe words) but something is blocking my throat.
The words on this note. The words on this text. The words that they wrote.

I’m starting to lose my mind, baby; this can’t be your phone.
The text – the note, they both carry a heavy romantic tone.
Romantic tone so heavy, it feels like I’m swallowing hot stones.
“Something Casual” is talking about how you have to put a ring on it; the affair is now fully grown?
“Something Casual” is discussing things unknown;
Things unknown to me; I feel dethroned.

I’m pacing up and down
I’m confused, my face has a death frown.
The note makes a mention of some red gown.
Perhaps forgotten at the hotel in that small town?
Isn’t this the same gown that I’ve been wearing every time that my soul was a bit down?

The one that I found in your suitcase and you said you’d forgotten to give to me on your arrival?
The morning after the night that you said, you were going to your church revival.
I remember how happy you were that morning; you mentioned something about some love survival.
Or something.
I don’t remember anything.
I think I’m mixing up everything.
Perhaps I should continue to sort out this mess; I’m sure that the note and the text mean nothing.

Come home soon, baby -I miss you !

Love Potion No.9.

Is Zoe truly in love or is she under a magical spell!

“Twenty one years old and never had a proper boyfriend” cried Bonelo in amazement. Zoe’s cheeks flushed bright red. “Well I wouldn’t say never, said Zoe trying to hide her embarrassment.
Zoe was 21 years old and still very inexperienced. All her life she shied away from people and had her head stuck in romantic novels. Later in life she took to desert books, after discovering her passion for pastries and delectable deserts. The patisserie course enhanced her natural talent. As a professional patisserie she was responsible for the amazing creations at La Luna. Melt in your mouth buttery croissants and pear tartain. Coeur ala crème with caramelized strawberries and towering croquembouches.
“Maybe it’s time to get out of my shell and explore a bit” she thought out loud. The right guy has never come along. Bonelo rolled her eyes and sighed. “Stuck up, arrogant Zoe, that’s what, guys thought of her” said Bonelo quietly.
Zoe concentrated on the mousse au chocolat that she was preparing for the Valentine’s Day lunch special at La Luna. She was the pastry chef at the quaint little coffee shop on the Esplanade in Durban.
Max & Miller was the law firm that occupied the space above the coffee shop. The stuffed suits, Bonelo named the lawyers. Black suited lawyers visited the coffee shop regularly for their dose of caffeine before burying their head in their law books.
Zoe thought of herself as a plain Jane. An ugly duckling that never became the swan. But she does show promise. An Indian beauty hidden under the façade of haughtiness. With a little help of make-up and a wardrobe change, besides the unflattering chef’s uniform, she could be really beautiful.

She checked her profile in the mirror before the lunch hour rush. It was force of habit making sure that she was presentable before serving the customers. She touched up her eye with some black eyeliner. Zoe was a simple, ordinary girl with the most devastating eyes you have ever seen.
“I’ll kill for eyes like yours” Bonelo often said. Those eyes could melt a million hearts. Zoe did not realize the power they had. Those hazel eyes with specs of green would make any guy swoon over her but she never used them to her full advantage.

The coffee shop was extremely busy on Valentine’s Day and Zoe’s mousse au chocolat with strawberry coulis was a smashing hit. “Must say, the stuffed suits really enjoyed the choc mousse grunted Bonelo. “ R6500, for the day’s takings is pretty good.”

“Zoe!” screeched Bonelo, like a crazy women. “What’s up!” said Zoe blowing a small fuse. “Come here immediately” she said excitedly. “Delivery for Miss Zoe.” She was flabbergasted. She was not expecting anything thing let alone a dozen red roses for Valentine’s Day. “Hand it over” Bonelo grabbed the bouquet and the card attached. To the women with the most mesmerizing eyes! Wow! warned you about those eyes.” She said, clutching the card close to her heart. “I wonder who it is,” Zoe said deep in thought.

Zoe was certainly surprised. “Roses on Valentine’s Day just for me.” She was more curious than excited. She hated secrets and surprises and this was going to eat at her until she found out who it was. If I know who it is then I know who I must stay away from, she thought, popping a chocolate truffle in her mouth in a blasé manner.
Little notes were on the stoep of the coffee every day since Valentine’s Day. One liner poems that made her heart skip beats. She secretly slipped them into her handbag and read them at home over and over again. “My heart beats a rhythm only for you, how do I love thee let me count the ways, shall I compare thee to a summers day. Love is like a rose a red red rose. My heart in my hand I offer it to you”.
This man certainly knew the way to Zoe’s heart. She waited for the poems daily with an excitement she only knew. As much as she loved Bonelo, she certainly could not be trusted. Everyone in the coffee shop would find out about Zoe’s little love poems and she would be the talk of the town.

Zoe is a very private person. She rarely ever showed anyone her feelings or desires. It came out more expressively in the delicious desserts and pastries her prepared. It was a reflection of her emotions. Beautiful, delicate, artistic and highly edible. No one truly knew her. She closed everyone out. If she ever let you in it meant that you could be trusted and were very, very special. People often thought of her as been difficult but trust had to be earned and she certainly made people work to earn her trust. She loved poetry since a young age. A simple poem could make her shed tears but she shed tears, only in solitude. Her privacy was precious and she was always in control of her emotions.

She imagined falling in love many times. It was not the Mills and Boon type of love affair. She was mature beyond her age and love had a deeper meaning to her. It was utter trust and unconditional love, warts and all.
“Hey Zoe what’s up? Is something the matter?” Bonelo wondered about the change in her. She’s been trying to conceal it but those bits of extra sparkle in those hazel eyes were unmistakable.

She has been meeting her secret admirer. She left work early one Friday. He knew her so she did not need to make much of an impression but she still wanted to be pleasing. He’s only seen her in the chef’s uniform. Sweaty and smelling of cinnamon or some other exotic spice. She picked out a lavender summer dress that accentuated her womanly figure. She kept make- up to a minimum. Just a dash of gold eye shadow that made her eyes stand out. Yardley sienna lipstick. A touch of water proof mascara and some foundation cream to matt her olive skin.

Stars sparkled like diamonds in the night. The moon illuminated the night sky which gave it an indigo hue. She walked to the life guard station across milky lane. She watched him from afar. .He slowly turned around as he saw her walking towards him. Smiling, eyes sparkling with anticipation. Yellow rose in his hand just like he said in his text message.
He smiled lovingly and took her hand in his. Her heart raced like a river after a torrential storm. She was both nervous and excited at the same time. A warm sea breeze blew through her long black hair. He gently tucked the loose tendril behind her ear. Sensations ravaged her body and she breathing became raspy. That simple gesture was overwhelming to her.

He was everything she expected but even more. It felt as if they have known each other all their lives. The world around her changed. Everything looked different. It amazed her, how being in love changed her perspective of life in general. Everything had a new meaning. A simple sunset had an allure of romance. The colours of blue, orange and pink on the horizon created an exotic atmosphere for lovers everywhere.
Nothing could spoil her good mood these days. Even when Nikiwe burnt the caramel sauce for the crème caramels they were preparing for the Max & Miller awards function. Nikiwe looked like she was going to sob uncontrollably “Do it over, instructed Zoe “and be extra careful this time.” Nikiwe gave Bonelo a quizzical look combined with a huge sigh of relief. Bonelo just shrugged her shoulders. . “Whatever she’s on make sure she keeps the prescription filled at all times” said a dazed Nikiwe

“Girl, are you humming that song from Aashiqui 2, that Bollywood movie you lent me. This is so unlike you. I have, well, we all have noticed that you have not been yourself lately. We’ve got to talk .What’s up, what’s going on with you girl?
If I tell you, do you promise not to breathe word of it to anyone? Cross your heart and hope to die.
Cross my heart promised Bonelo
Well, I met him,
Met who? asked Bonelo.
Him, Mr. Red roses, Mr. Right said Zoe dreamily.
What, where and when? Bonelo demanded answers to her questions.
Two months ago.
And you kept it from me all along.
How could you?
He’s fantastic, he gets me and I can trust him.
How often do you see each other?
That’s complicated. Mostly week days after work and weekends if he gets a break
A break from what asked Bonelo
From his wife said Zoe sheepishly
Bonelo eyes popped and her jaw dropped she was bowled over. I can’t believe it. It’s not like you
Zoe! You’ve got to end this asap. You will only get hurt and imagine if his wife finds out.
My gosh! He is much older than you.
Twenty years older than me whispered Zoe.
You’ve got yourself a sugar daddy. What is his agenda?
He doesn’t have one said a frustrated Zoe, already regretting confiding in Bonelo
Zoe hated been questioned by anyone let alone her best friend Bonelo.
Of all people she should understand after all she has been there, done that and got the t shirt.
Gosh Zoe, sometimes you can be so doff. He must have an agenda all men have one.
Remember, I have been there. Married men never leave their wives.
What is missing in his home life?
I don’t know, we don’t talk about it and I’d rather not go there.
“Listen, Bonelo. I’ve tried to end it but I can’t. He is an addiction; I wait every morning for the sun to rise so that I can see him or hear his voice or just received a text message. Nobody gets me like him. I have tried to end it a thousand times. I just can’t my heart won’t allow it. I don’t have the freedom of flaunting my love to the world. I often ask myself why me, why did I have to fall in love with a married man”

Bonelo was dazed. She learnt more about Zoe than she’s learnt in two years that they have been friends. She poured out her heart to Bonelo. She needed to vent her feelings. To talk it over with a friend. She carried a heavy burden and the guilt was agonizing.
Bonelo understood what Zoe meant. She’s had friendly chats with him a few times when he has come over for morning coffee and the daily newspaper. He has a charisma about him and a laugh that sounded genuinely charming and magnetic. Women were attracted to him.
He looked at Zoe with a genuine adoration and fondness. But, he knew his story and the reasons for having the affair. As much as Bonelo tried to discourage Zoe from continuing with the affair she understood her friend. This secret, she will carry to her grave.
She was intoxicated by his love and the exhilarating feelings that came along with it. She is a passionate women and he reveled with ardent desire. He brought out a hunger in her that she never knew existed. His kiss, his touch, sent shockwaves through her body. She was attracted to his mind, body and soul. She was a wanderlust searching for the missing piece of the puzzle until she met him. He eased that restless spirit and ceased the wanderlust in her.
She made up her mind that instant. Whatever the consequences, whatever the future may bring he is, her here and now. Her moment in the sun. She decided to love even if it means loving only once in her life time. She twisted the emerald ring on her finger. “A token of my love” Raj said when he slipped the ring on to her finger. Life, love and people are strange. We give so much of ourselves in the most unexpected ways.

Seven

Seven sins, seven deaths, seven possibilities.
Seven ways of hate and seven ways of suffering.

Seven lies, seven judges, seven fallen angels.
Constant sadness, daily, always, never ever fails.

Seven sins that cause hurt and pain and maybe even death.
Seven demons laugh and torture me never put to rest.

Heart-strung

My heart murmur
ticks over
in time with
the sleeping breaths
you take together
in bed

Soon I will
be able to
sing you a death rattle
Give or take
a few days

Lessons in Lectures of Love

You weave wondrous webs with words
Practise percolate perfect & perform
You spin sexy synonyms secretly seducing sanctions
Litigate lustful liaisons languidly

You school this student serendipitously
Tormenting teasing tantalising
You acquire avant garde aptitude
Cautiously coaxing committed candour

You reward religiously rightfully
Manifesting in momentarily madness & mayhem
You devise in detailed determination
Her orgasm in opaque oblivion

On Me

Doubt not,she worth than nature
Arena of beauty,thy love I seek
Lie here with me forever
On thy bosom,perish my loveache
Let rain on me thy magic
An immortal,not dust grown!

Reaching For The Rain

Another Monday filtered in,
Enticing, and rapidly racing,
Like my weakened heart,
It’s come and gone;
Chores are done;
My spirit lies incomplete,
As sordid envy,
Enclosed in the refusal to forsake all others;
My heart still has a price to pay.

Then for a moment,
A brief breath away,
From the depths of seeming madness;
I gaze outside this window,
Framed. Alive. A beautiful barrier.
I see the rain…

Its raining again,
Pitter-patter raindrops,
Crashing gently against the dry, thirsty earth,
Crashing violently against my parched,weary soul;
The awareness of an endless storm raging within.

I’m on the inside,
And it’s still raining.
I see Love in the rain;
The labour of an unspoken grace;
The fortitude of being vested on the inside,
Sentenced by the power to resist.

I can feel the rain falling on me;
The freedom of residing in the inner courts;
Who’s to judge it’s worthiness?
As I navigate the threads of truth;
A limited pursuit;
Soul-less, drenched and dried.

Remain on the inside,
There where the rain still reaches;
Quite the words that intend to bring solace,
And clad the purer parts of you in a trench-coat;
Do not fear to tread upon,
The many colours of secret spaces
And stay silent in the midst of peace.

Come out of your hiding place,
Like the umbrella who brings
A yearned for freedom,
Under-written and undeserved;
And cover my vacant soul
Before it starts to rain again.