Why why

What is why, why is why asked or pondered.
Why why?
Perhaps its not the answer that matters but instead its that there is an answer.
Perhaps its not the unknown that scares us but the fact that there is an unknown.
Maybe we ask the question for the answer not to know why but instead to know that there is an answer.

So then why.
What compels us to need to know that there is a known.
Curiosity?
Instinct? Couldn’t be instinct.
Fear.

I know fear is what drove me to be the person I am.
So am I just a product of predictable emotion?
A being that has been designed not by life experiences but the fear of them?
Probably.

I crave sense but am driven to find that which does not make sense.
I want order but am constantly creating ways to disturb it.
I am a creature of contradictions. A living breathing thing that dos not live but instead questions why.

Why ask why?
Why why?
Perhaps its not the answer that matters but instead its that there is an answer.

What i wish to be

i wish to be a whore of horror and gore
where no priest or saint can save me
my legs apart, i’m aching to start
im naked and waiting.

I would reek of cum in the dining halls
my tits always on display
at a glance you would feel repelled
and in disgust you would look away.

my sheets will be soiled with semen and shit
my skin blistered and sore
but nothing will compare to the open scabs
lining the frame of my door.

there is no lock so any swinging cock is able to come in
have his way
jiz and pray
that he doesnt catch anything

but pray in vane you will my boy
i will not leave you without a sore
my cunt enjoys this game you see
and looks forward to more..