Chasing A Lie

Thousand rand shopping sprees;
Expesive colognes and bitches next me;
Get home and I drink expensive liquor while listening to imported cd’s;
As I lay alone I think what does all of this shit mean;

How long can I go on living this way;
Outside I’m ballin’ everyday like it ain’t no thang;
Yet inside I’m dying and nobody seems to see;
Behind this smile is a dying man on the brink;

Substance abuse just to have a little peace;
But the more I drink and slide behind white lines I only strengthen these demons within;
Will peace only return when I die;
And return to my birth place in the sky;

I can only assume that God’s looking down at me askin why;
I wish I knew the reasons so I could undo this death sentence called my life;

Nobody understands my tears or why I cry out loud;
I should be smiling, I own a bottemless bank account;
But have you ever had all you want but nothing you need?

Have you ever been surround by a sea of people and feel so lonely?
Well money cant buy love and fame cant rewind the hands of time;
And popularity can’t subside the pain that dwells deep inside;

My knees are skinless from all the prayers I’ve sent up to the sky;
It’s been years and I’m still waiting on that reply;
Whats my purpose why was I sent to this life;
Can somebody help me understand the reasons why;

I sin all the time yet im still alive;
I should be dead and someone else should be using up my time;
I chased an empty pipe dream only now I’ve come to realise;
That all my life I’ve been throwing away blessings while chasing a lie