Archives for May 2015

Farewell to the City

Goodbye once again to the city that gives me lifetime stories in one incomplete weekend.

Bye bye to the colourfully vandalised buildings with rusty roofs and cracking walls.

Goodbye to the dirt on concrete, thieves who walk too close, old ladies with frozen hearts and unsmiling shop assistants.

Goodbye City I have a secret love for, for accommodating those I adore, for hosting the best parties, for my sweet adventures every time.

Goodbye stunning bright lights, the lullaby after the rough days in the wild of the streets.

My pulse is lowing down because I’m finally leaving.

This small-town girl is going home!

William and Harry, the lion cubs (Number Poem)

One day under the bright African midday sky
Two lion cubs jumped and played and in the sandy terrain they did lie
Three meter high grass, this is the place
Four great big rocks completed the course for the race
Five minutes later and they’re off
Six meters to go and William yells “enough!”
“That’s seven wins for me,’ pronounces younger Harry with a smirk on his face
“I’m sure you’ll make it eight one day,’ replies William as they embrace
Side by side they make their way to their pride of nine
“Ten out of ten for effort baby brother,” quips William ‘but next time glory will be mine’

POETS ARE MAGICIANS OF WORDS

Poets are magicians of words
They write words unforetold-powerful like swords
Like they write with their hearts in their hands
And painless,flawless,blameless.
They write poetry so lyrical,
Magical,musical,philosophical,political,metaphorical,ironical
With words of nothingness but humor.
Their words talk like words too
Of a charismatic poet in love with her muse
Enchanted by her bliss and kiss.
Black tears on his face as he writes
About his love,endymion and melancholy
With his heart in despair
Like dying daffodils without water
And his heart is in solitude
No spirit of love to make him glee
But still the poet writes and loves
And his poetry is in his heart.

Heartbreak

It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before
It’s waking up at four am to remind myself how much I hate him
It’s fantasizing about punching him in the throat if he ever tries to speak to me again
It’s seeing the car he drives on the road and forcing myself to not slam into it
It’s seeing his face mounted on every man around me
It’s wishing it was his face
It’s sitting outside, smoking, waiting for him to pull up to my house
It’s staring out of the window with lapses in judgement thinking I should text
It’s cyber stalking him on social media hoping to find him fucking out like I am
It’s crying myself to sleep at night as I wonder where he’s been sleeping
It’s waking up nauseated by my own sadness that I can bare the sight of food
It’s kissing anything remotely attractive with the hopes of feeling something again
It’s waiting up until two in the morning hoping he would drunk dial
It’s thinking of him every second of every day

While he moves on with her.

God Gave You The Key

I remember when I first saw you and how you took my breath away;

I remember how I wondered and planned to make you mine night and day;

You were so beautiful so out of my league, heaven’s reflection was made after God saw your beautiful face;

I remember how nervous I was when I first asked your name;

 

I remember how I didn’t know how to treat you, how we never even had a first date;

How I made up a lie to push you away;

Since that moment I knew I made a mistake;

But girl the truth is nobody ever took the time to show me how to love a girl the right way;

 

I was born into a home where I saw my parents fight all the time;

Until my mother left my day and I didn’t even understand why;

I used to visit them on separate weekends living two different lives;

My step dads treated me cold and hard, all I did was cry;

 

Now that I’m older, independent and wise;

My heart has frozen I’ve learned to keep my feeling hidden inside;

As a man I find it hard to open up to anyone at all;

I guess I still have to recover from all my falls;

 

But I still remember this angel in disguise;

Never saw such beauty or an angel in real life;

I’m sorry for killing love before it had a chance to grow;

It was all my fault girl I hope this you know;

 

May I please have my 2nd chance?

To put you at ease I’ll only need half of that;

Tears have been my teacher and I got a masters degree from my past;

I will never hurt you or make you cry, you can put everything on that;

 

I know since me you been hurt all the way;

You closed your heart and given up on love until your dying day;

But give me the chance to give your heart life again;

Time has opened up my eyes and I regret doing you that way;

 

I’ve been missing you a lot, I just couldn’t find the courage to say;

I watched silently as another man took my place;

I know I told you the truth just the other day;

Dropping a bomb on you, I should have let us go when I watched you walk away;

 

But there was something about that angel I saw here that managed to escape;

Heaven has been searching, it just hasn’t been the same;

But God secretly told He gave you the key to heaven’s gate;

He had heard my prayers and He sent you to keep a smile on my face

Untitled

As the heavens parted and the rain dribbled down
A sense of ignorance was felt by all
The Gods mocked us as we traded blows in this game of love
Anticipating regrets that were not forthcoming
We persisted at tugging each others heartstrings
And rallied at the prospect of eternal love
I gazed into your eyes and looked deep into your soul
My heart began to beat to the beat of yours
With every breath I heard it cry your name
And this is where it will stay
For our love is meant to be no more
Shall we part ways and pray that fate brings us together
For our hearts again to beat as one

The Memorial Bench

When then I sat on this memorial bench
I dug my heels into its concrete setting
Exfoliating decades of jaundiced decay
Cake upon cake now flecked
I scraped harder
layer after archived layer
Now blooded under a smooth veneer

When then I regarded this memorial bench
I winced my eyes shut to the sea’s salty spray
Disinfecting decades of petrified icing
Spray after spray now benign
I waded deeper
Wave after unthinking wave
Now sleeping under a glassy smear

When now I sink into this memorial bench
I lift my gaze beyond its varnished timber
Unscaling decades of unsculpted relief
I chisel deeper
Coat after opaque coat
Now weathered under a forgotten care

When now I recline on this memorial bench
I am transfixed heavenwards beyond the racing clouds
Transversing decades of fettered headrest
I edge closer
Now barely remembered in memorial

And when I have flown away from this memorial bench
When the bird lines on my hand have been etched
When the needle leaves the hard ground undisturbed
When the waves leave the memorial bench submerged
When even memory of the memory is benched
When then I search for the memorial bench
I will still remember you

You’ll Understand One Day

It’s been a long time girl but I still miss you the same;

Time never did it’s job, your memory was never erased;

I still cry whenever I hear our song, the love never left when you walked away;

It just grew as karma took me back and made me relive my every single mistake;

 

Making me wish I did things diffrently, wondering if I had would you have chose to stay;

I don’t know what it is that makes me feel this way;

There were alot of lovers before you and a few since you slipped away;

So why was loosing you so much harder too take;

 

With them it took a month or two and I was doing just fine again;

With you it’s been 6 years and I miss you every single day;

I wish I knew the reason my heart refuses kill this lover’s flame;

I’ve tried it all, everything I have has failed;

 

It’s not like I just sat back and decieded to accept my fate;

It’s not like I chose to still love you when you’re so far away;

Girl I can’t explain love or the rules of the game;

Why I still love a girl who no longer feels the same;

 

Alot of women makes moves, I simply decline;

Knowing I’d be using them to forget the one that used to be mine;

I don’t want karma to pay me back like it did when you walked out of my life;

The pain is too unbearable to explain, I’d be damned if I pretend to love another knowing it’s just a lie;

 

I would be a fool to now see but to act blind;

To make the same mistakes for the second time;

You should learn from all mistakes, it’s called “LIFE”;

I’d rather be alone until the day I can say you are no longer consuming my mind;

 

I don’t know how long it will take, it’s already been such a long time;

I’ve sent plea’s to heaven but all I get back is a busy line;

I stopped begging God and just accepted that you’d be the one reason I still cry;

While my heart is frozen inside;

 

People keep asking why I write such sad poems, well to me it’s more than words, it’s my everyday life;

I’d rather be real so people can relate than too sell a lie;

How could I understand a struggle of another if I never struggled the same;

I feel the same when I let my pen bleed words onto a blank page;

 

People are so used to lies, they would spot a fake;

I don’t ever want that label, I’d rather accept people’s constant complaints;

About my sad poems, that would be so much easier to take;

If people can’t understand the words now, like the Bible, you never really understand a verse until you live it and can relate;

 

Then you understand the power of a living word, my poems are written with the same mind state;

You never really understand why, until that one day;

And your mind takes you back to these words long after I’m in a shallow grave;

You think back and you gained wisdom and wonder why you judged so easy instead of understanding from where I came;

Girl of my past

You came like a thief in the night while I lay sleeping
And snuck into my mind while I was dreaming.
Thought I would need my eyes to see you again.
I was blindsided, I did not expect to see your face.

You simply could not let me forget,
You just had to remind me of my regret.
I managed to put you out of my conscious mind
So you found an opening in my unconscious side.

You always were that smart,
Only brains like yours could win my heart.
That dream has me reminiscing about what was
You could not let me forget.. Girl of my past.

Music Within

I want to experience every decibel of your heartbeat
Let it hit me
Let it teach me how to love in silence, direct me
Instruct
Me on how to duck tape mine to the speakers of your heart
Move
Move me to the rhythm of your spirit
Soothe all that’s bruised with your hearts groove
To dance in the spirit realm
Listening to tales told by the moon
Sold by the hooves kicking the ground to the dust
Lost in melodies released
In shouts and screams
Beyond the gathering place of dreams
Where enchanted figures skate on the icing on the cake
Where the greatest teacher, never late, awaits
The director of music moving chords to the temple
I want to take notes and paste them on my lungs so I may breathe the music of your soul
And tunes
Follow the rhythm moved by your soles of shoes and feet, to beat and defeat hate
You have to understand this song I want to learn
From no one
But you see that it moves the world
This piece is called love

ApThePoet