break up songs

I went through all the Alanis Morrisette

Nirvana

Violent Femmes

Rodriguez

Arctic Monkeys

I could find

trying to find something that captures like 400 film

the way my insides are twisting, my head is aching, my breathe is slowing

fuck, I even went through some Destiny’s Child, some Beck, even Eminem

but everyone is too self righteous, too angry, too sad, too pathetic, too strong, too extreme to capture on 400 film

they say in the darkest places you can find light

but where is the light in the half-dark lit by my bedside lamp?

there’s a fire

there’s a fire burning in the middle of this classroom

but you don’t feel the heat.

you don’t feel the urge to stamp it out.

beads of sweat don’t plague you

pencils engrave words upon you:

hateful, cynical, truthful.

 

I hate to be the one to fan this fire,

to see these flames brown the ceiling,

singe your schoolbooks,

but someone has to smoke you out of your seats

someone has to make you aware of your weight

or you will all fall through the floor.