Bough Down (a poem in experimental haiku)

Aloes from Bethelsdorp –
The green world’s-majority is not my home.
Only Goethe’s throne.

Mum’s June wedding lace.
Dad’s glove was lost at the church.
His Mrs. Dalloway.

There were her roses.
Granadilla hands in earth.
Ice lungs frozen. Night.

Dolls in childhood – dead
Things. Once attached to slippers.
Church. Girlhood friendships.

Origins of wives –
Daughters, girls. A dramatic gulf.
Ruined geraniums. Roasts.

The Rural Countryside

The rural countryside
Has its own welcoming committee.
It has its own encyclopedia.
It has its own dictionary.
Every year I throw a parade
In my honor. Why not?
Why is family always hurting family?
Describing matters in the system.

Do they not have anything better to do?
Like make love, instead of war.
Stories about family life
Will mature you in old fashioned ways.
Sickness depends on culture.
Maturity depends on your mother.
Great poems are meant for the dark.
For night swimmers. For viewpoints.

The rape of the lock is found there.
At the end of the world.
The halo of the laughing carcass.
Ghost stories and erosion.
Birthday girls and photographs.
The dodo bird and the rhino’s horn.
Excuse my blood, my church hat.
While I visit the museum.

Fragments of summer
Ravenous village of stone –
Sadness is wasted in youth
A wilderness history of it
We are on a path walking
To meet each other on a road –
A road filled with studies
I have a wounded body

So we meet in a rural forest
Or on that sunny road –
You have a wounded body
I was scared of that vision
In all of its sacred glory
We are lovers of the Arctic Circle
If it still exists. We were family
Once. Daughters and sons.
Before we were poetry.

The Dark Heart

The dark of night never quite leaves my heart

Always heavy, always shrouded beneath grey clouds

The light now dim, I find the night terrors circle in

A splash of lightning illuminates the demons

Horrid, sullen creatures, the demons in my dark heart

Tender rain falls, washing the ruins, flooding the crevices of the deep

Alone, I wander the wilderness of the dark landscape within my dark heart

Doors locked and chained, windows shattered to the floor of my dark heart

Bare feet treading the fallen and lost dreams of the dark heart

Empty soul passing forgotten hopes

The dark heart quiet, the raging soul silenced

This is now forever, the dark of night welcome to always stay here with me in my dark heart

For Mum

Pale feminist you.
Bliss in a vintage dress.
Under a potbellied sky.
With your rouge pots.
Your lipsticks that taste like cream.
Your comaed flowers.
They plant their halos.
You dig them up.
You plant them somewhere else.
Somewhere where there is sun.

She knows the world.
She knows it in the Biblical way.
English is not her first language.
She has two daughters.
Her son is the baby of the family.
The avocado tree is flowering.
It is being brought to life.
Resurrected somehow.
The pomegranate does not.
Something is in the way.

Nature’s bride.
With climate change comes an elegant mess.
Mum is nature’s bride.
Her hair is a halo. Tungsten.
I worship this angel.
All her trilogies. Her choir.
With her sibling rivalry.
She carried me in her womb for months.
She was there when I realised my dream.
My dream of becoming a writer.

She raised me lopsidedly.
I have forgiven her for that.
With a little bitter, a little sweet.
I admire people who live in the wilderness.
There is squalor out there. Cacti.
I worship the hills in her eyes.
The valley that covers her physically.
She experienced loss early in her life.
We never talk about it.
Our family is like that.

Ruined Geraniums

Chasing wild sheep and ambulances
An insomniac’s trick
I have discovered an empire
The empire of the introspective
I am a superwoman and actor
Dramatic and always being
Brought to life by it
Provocative and enchanting
Exotic and intimidating
How to stay calm under pressure
A wolfish din far away in my head.

Just Once More, Get Back That Moment In Time (20.09.90)

I have all I want and most of what I need;

But something’s wrong with me;

I’m living the good life, you could say I’m the fortunate kind;

But I feel like something is missing from my life;

 

I should be happy and wearing the biggest smile;

Instead I feel like I’m broken inside;

I look to the sky in hopes God can tell me that it’s all just in my mind;

But heavens keeping quiet this time;

 

I searched the confides of my soul to find the answer to this question burning inside;

Then your face appeared like a star filled night;

I haven’t thought of you in years baby girl, ever since we drifted so far apart;

Could it be that you’re still the keeper of my lonely heart;

 

If this is the case,how do I fix what I tore apart;

You’ve moved on and found someone new and left us in the past;

I knew from that moment our eyes met you’d forever have my heart;

I didn’t know how true that statement would eventually be;

 

Now that years have passed and you’re gone, the truth in these words I see;

God truly sent me an angel, I was just too blind too see that the answer to my prayers was in you;

What do you do when God sends you the answer but you were expecting something else, when the answer was always right there in front of you;

It’s hard to take it now that I know the truth;

 

Things I can’t change, mistakes gone too far to reverse or simply undo;

Calls I wish I answered but chose too ignore;

Messages I read but never replied too, it burns to my hearts very core;

Knowing I had all I had been searching for;

 

But let it slip by because I thought my prayers were being ignored;

I never made that mistake since I lost you girl, God only knows;

Our fall I never recovered from and it’s slowly taken it’s toll;

I wish I could get back that one moment in time and get back all those times I had with you just once more.

The Pain of Wondering

Into the night I will run
Run away from you and yours
I will run towards the scorching sun
My struggle was behind closed doors

But then you catch me and I fight
Still I get pulled under again
I look around, I can’t see the light
You are different than you were then

My love for you suffocates sometimes
But you look at me and my heart climbs
Your love for me seems like an act
Filled with everything I ever lacked

You say you love me yet I do not know
If anything you say holds truth
You have screamed and begged me not to go
I am slowly losing my youth

Sometimes your love really does show
And yet I am still unsure
Maybe your love and lust faded a long time ago?
Maybe being together was just a bit premature?

But still I am enthralled by you
I will forever be under your spell
You are permanently etched like a tattoo
And I’ll never be able to say farewell

Odd Love

The love I have for you is odd!

The love I have for you is like cancer;

It just gets more serious with every passing year

I’m sure our love is now on terminal status, fatal attraction!

Loving you is like a bad habit;

I do it with minimal effort yet so effective,

That’s why I’m convinced it’s like an old bed;

Easy to get into yet hard to come out!

The love I have for you is like an illegal immigrant

Because our love recognizes no barriers,

It jumps hurdles, leaps fences and penetrates walls

Just to arrive at its destination full of hope!

Our love is no different to how the public feels about the government

There are sometimes lies and empty promises

But because of the history we have, we never walk out on each other!

Loving you is like an addiction;

I’ll try to get to you by all means

Despite people advising me against you,

You’ve led me to lose everything and even gone to the brink of death

But that’s still not enough to keep me away from you.

We so in love should be considered a crime;

All the stolen kisses and we stealing each other’s hearts

We are like Bonny and Clyde; we’re having so much fun!

I’m really not sure what kind of love is this;

It could possibly be the strangest love ever

Because I’s like a rolling stone gathering moss,

We gain momentum with every passing day

As we roll over any obstacle en route to our destination;

Happily ever after!

“You reap what you sow”

Be inspired to do what is good,
Don’t stop learning;
You will reap what you sow
Good trees brings; good fruits
Bad tress brings; bad fruits,
Learn what you need,
And you will prosper.

To my friend my crush

Im attracted to this man
who respects me
His loving is the best
He got me thinking
ringing bells
I see us getting married
I see my mother there
I see us holding hands
exchanging the rings
With him i’ve got pride and
a million dollar smile
I see the bright and
with him got no doupts