5 o’clock Torture

I’m on that 9 to 5 grind,
Naturally I am exhausted
But it has to happen, every afternoon.

The tap on my  window or the whistle from a few meters away.
That street vendor though, he catches you every day.
Is it  a hand made steel giraffe, a springbok jersey or a box of mangoes?
I don’t care, I’ll just ignore him until he goes.

There’s the occasional day that he just get’s on my nerves,
So i roll down my window, and throw words that’ll just kick him to the curb.
“Can’t you see that I’m exhausted, I’ve worked all day
What have you done, besides laze away?
It’s 5 o’clock and I’ve been up so early,
I fake a happy mood and I work so eagerly!
I focus, I strive, I have passion in my eyes!
So at 5 o’clock all I ask for, is that quiet, alone, home time prize
Bother someone else, why do you always target me?
Or better yet get a real job, then… you will see!”

I throw rants with my chest puffed and my nose up and I make him feel so small.
I don’t feel bad, I’ve worked hard today, I shouldn’t feel bad at all

Eventually one day,
that street vendor,
he cut me off,
mid banter!
He asked if I had seen him this morning on my way to work.
I replied, “YES! as usual you tapped on the window of my merc.”
So you see sir, he said, I am sure that you would’ve easily managed standing in the sun all day,
being shut down, ignored and constantly told to go away.
I don’t mean to complain, I don’t mean to be rude,
but while you’re on your way home, I’m still forcing that happy mood.
So with all due respect to that hard work that you do
It’s 5 o’clock for me too!

Of all the things that God could send

Of all the things that God could send.
What would be your perfect request?
What would make all life’s troubles worth it in the end?

I know what I’d ask for,
I’d ask for stability and contentment,
for prosperity and perfection!

I’d sit on my knees look up to the sky
and weep with regret for my mistakes 
and I’d ask God for forgiveness and protection!

It’s funny how God and I we can sit and talk.
This would seem like a one way conversation, 
but this friends, is the power of meditation.

I close my eyes and enter a serene state. 
When I am angry, I request that he removes all this hate.

When sadness is upon me
I beg for him to allow gladness to adorn me.

I’m a little disloyal though.
In a state of happiness 
or in a moment of success.
I sometimes forget to tell God
Because I often forget to talk to him when I am at my best.

But on the rare occasion that I do remember to be thankful.
He awards me with so much warmth and and extends my happiness to the epitome of joyful!

So of all the things that God could send
There’d be none better than a friend
a friend who could make me smile
and feel comforted too.
I sit on my knees and fold my hands, 
I look up to God and say.
“In other words, a friend like you!”

I’ll stand up

Don’t get me wrong when I say that I will be your helping hand.
I know that you don’t need a mentor or even an assistant 
and I know that you most definitely don’t need a man!

My helping hand is only offered when the world is blind.

When the world is blind to your triumphs
I’ll stand up and I’ll stand by you!

It took multiple bruises and many more bumps
and when they don’t know that
I’ll stand up and I’ll stand by you!

Because I will not let the power you possess
be somewhat oppressed.
I will make sure they see that you are the Queen!
Hell! you are the King!

So when the world is blind to your revolutionary stance
when you conquer the barriers that once denied the youth future plans!
I’ll stand up and I’ll stand by you!

I’ll make sure that they hear your name
that your story is the new level to that politics game!
And eventually when the politicians, they try to play
and destroy your elegantly laid out pathway
I’ll stand up and I’ll stand by you!

When you need a crew.
When you need a brother, a sister, a friend or two
know one thing
I’ll stand up and I’ll stand by you!

Because you have seen the days that they said you couldn’t
even though they secretly knew you could 
They prayed for the day that you just wouldn’t
But you did!
And they know
but they will assure that it is hidden!
So remember that I’ll stand up and I’ll stand by you!

They will act like the greatness you’ve achieved is unnecessary
Like the mountains you’ve climbed were mere ant hills
They will hide the fact that you’ve smashed through that little look of girly
that you’ve done more than just educate yourself, 
you’ve raised kids
you’ve given to your community
And you’ve paid all your bills.

So when it starts to rain and the storm continues to pour
I’ll stand up and I’ll stand by you!

When your force is budding from the ground
but they keep throwing sand over and patting it down.
I’ll be at the bottom with you
We will dig our way through 
I’ll stand up and I’ll stand by you!

When they command you to stay in he kitchen
break the hell out
When they objectify your curves
shut that man down
When they say you’re too fragile
When they say you’re too weak
Show them your wrath
They’ll forever hold their peace

So when the world is blind to your legendary venture
When they can’t see, that here is a real life Marvel Avenger
I’ll stand up and I’ll stand by you!

****Like a superhero she swoops doing everything you can’t do
        So when you knock her down to tears
        physically or with words
        You are leaving this world undernourished
        Killing Mother’s of this Earth!
        So when arrogance like you withers it’s way through 
        and she embarrasses you 
        and she makes you wish that you worked your way there too!
        Just remember 
        that she taught me better!
        That’s how come I didn’t stand with you!****


She lies to my face
With a straight face
When I enter the room
She tells a different
Story but I know
She has been
I try to tell
Him and she blocks
Me. I ask myself
Why is she like this
When she has a man
Who loves her
Help me tell him
That she is a cheater
She embarress me
Because she is my
Mother. She is wearing
Her head in shame
She thinks I’m stupid
And don’t know these
Things but I’m
Scared to call her
Mother, because
She is a cheater.

Letter From A Broken Heart

Dear Mamma, it’s been quite a while;

Since last we spoke and you cracked a smile;

Now days it’s seems all we seem to do right is fight;

We live in the same house but it feels like we’re living two different lives;


You seem to be busy and work late into the night;

When you get home I want to run into your arms and hold you tight;

As I approach you seem to anticipate something and sigh;

So instead of affection, rejection creeps in and wipes away my smile;


I don’t know where we went wrong, is the fault all mine;

I know one thing for sure, you and I are very alike;

You keep all you issues bottled up deep inside;

I do the same, hiding it from the world with a pretentious smile;


But I feel my time is running out with each passing day;

I’ve tried talking to you but it seems my words go unheard and astray;

You were once my cornerstone, the one I’d approach unafraid;

Lately my life has fallen apart as we’ve grown distant and joy has been replaced by pain;


So I’m writing you this letter to tell you I still love you will my all that will never change;

We may have drifted apart for reasons unknown, I’m sorry if I’m too blame;

I know often you’ve approached me and I’ve pushed you away;

Those times you did, life was getting the better of me, I’m so sorry for doing you that way;


Can we give it another try before you give up and get resentful towards me again;

I need you, you are all I have, my dad never gave a f*ck and that hasn’t changed;

He never calls me, he’s got a new family, he was never there and it’s still the same;

I know I’ve been a burden since I was in my teens, but I’m trying my best to make up for my younger days;


I’ve tried calling on heaven, the line seems to be engaged;

So whenever I pray, I leave Jesus a 911 voicemail;

In hopes He will move heaven and earth to make a way;

I must be doing something wrong cause He remains silent and I can only imagine I’m to blame, guess my sins messed up mine and His relationship like it has mine and yours or so I assume;


Whatever it is, know I’m sorry, I’m a saint with sinners problems, it’s not an excuse;

I’m trying to change, but I’m a result of life’s constant grind and abuse;

It’s hard fighting this war and I don’t know what else to do;

I’ve tried it all but it’s no use;


Tried being holy, but failed every single test;

Asked God to chill, I don’t need a teacher at the moment, I need a friend;

I guess He ain’t listening, feels like everything is falling apart and the pain never ends;

I often spend nights up late, cause my life is in a mess;


I can’t sleep, I haven’t got no peace, I’m in constant torment;

I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m going to do, truth be told I just wish the world would go into world war 3 and come to end;

So I can look up and see Jesus return again;

Either that or I’m hoping the next call I get is the grim reaper coming to collect my sin’s debt;


I want to end my own life, but I’m too scared of ending up in hell forever;

I’m alive but it feels like I’m part of the walking dead;

I just wanted you to know I love you and I’m sorry for causing you all that pain;

If I had a chance I’d go back in time and make up for all the tear stains I tattooed on your beautiful face.




One word, One Life, One Vision.

For me life is a puzzle that takes an existance
to figure out the messed up pieces.
I wish I could have done this differently, done
that better, worked on that greater or Loved
that girl stronger.

Life is more like a car,when you start it you
know you’re going somewhere, but you gotta
know the road ain’t easy.

My life is like a book, chapters on a loose, lost
pages on the floor, ended up hooked to this
and that and before I knew it, I was writing
one bestseller book, Lovely.

In spite of the fact that men don’t live by
bread alone but by the word, only the word of
He said men shall eat by the sweat of their

Life, Life, I feel like grabbing a knife and
sculpture it my way.
We live in a way too moralless era, Manners
aren’t manners, Right isn’t right, where
shocking looks pretty.

I mean, Life must be adventureous, God
Devotional, Breath taking, Amazing, Risk
Taking, Entrepreneurial.
Men are careless and incogitent said J
Everything under the sun wither, either shiny
or blemish.

Life reminds me of the wind that I feel, I
know I’m alive when breathing it but I still
can’t see it even though Men made great
things out of it, Pathetic.
I want to be on top of the world, I’m on my

My enemies want to take me down, I’ve been
caught on my crime scene but I found my Alibi
in my God who stands on my side, My hope of

I don’t care anymore whatsoever worksheets
Life will put on my desk, I will man up and
work it out.

This is Life.

Happy Birthday Angel Of Mine (20.09.90)

Girl you’ve been gone for quite a while;

It’s your birthday again in 2 days time;

A day where my face shares it’s space with tears and a smile;

Me missing you is no longer your concern but mine, girl this I already know;


I’ll still do what I’ve done every year since since my soul watched you finally up and go;

And every birthday since I’ve celebrated you all on my own;

With a cake,a single candle and a 5th full of Henessy with those songs we used to sing in those days of old;

I still cry every 20th of September and I probably still will long after I’ve grown old;


And even though we no longer talk, you get angry whenever we do;

Everything I say seems to frustrate you;

I no longer try like I used too;

You asked me to leave you be, for once I ain’t thinking about me but what’s important to you;


In 2 days time I’ll blow out that single candle and send that same old wish deep into the night sky;

That you might have a change of heart and mind;

And maybe by chance you’d return to me before I die;

That’s all I really need in my present life;


This love for you will never ever die;

Like a desert rose, against all odds it’s managed to outgrow and survive;

This love was born in heaven and within my broken heart it will reside;

Happy birthday angel of mine, I’ll always love you even beyond the sands of time

i dream BIG

When a man really desire a thing so deeply that he is willing to stake his entire future on a single turn of the wheel in order to get it, he is sure to win it

flight from her smile

1.) Was I a sparrow with a broken wing?
2 .) Going through life by hopping around.
3 .) Like a Ruppell’s vulture, I now fly when you are smiling.
4. ) I thought my life was sound,
5. ) But that’s for until my eyes could see!
6. ) I now ask myself some questions.
7. ) Do life’s doors require a key?
8. ) If so, why was under this illusion?
9. ) Thinking that all doors were wide open.
10.) Thank got for I have met you,
11.) And all my illusions are broken.
12.) I know with you as my boo,
13.) All my dreams will come true
14.) And through all those doors we will walk through.

My prayer

I kneel before a Universe
Hoping that it’s Jesus to whom I converse
He said child dry your eyes
I know you hurt because of all his lies
Keep your head up my child
For I won’t forsake you in the wild
I will carry your burdens for you
Just keep your faith loyal and true
Believe in me child
I am the only truth
So i submit before Him
And pray He forgives me before the coming
It is promised we will leave this place and return to the land of milk and honey
Where there is no more pain
Only awaiting judgement day
His return will cause mayem
For those who don’t believe
They will truly see
That He never left us at all
Just kneel down and pray
His always there no matter what sin made us fall
His love is unconditional
So I pray more
On his name I call
Jesus my Saviour
I am forever in your favour
For your blessings are precious
Thank you for your patience
So I kneel down and pray
Humbled by Him that’s all I can say. 
Until we meet again.