To those who dare to stand!

I haven’t really said anything online concerning how I feel about students protesting over fees being too high and stuff. It’s not that what I think they did wasn’t brave or really admirable, it’s that I wish I had maybe had the “apples” to have done something that amazing when I was in varsity. I recall scrapping registration fees together from relatives to get into a University to study something, anything I just wanted an education.

I couldn’t afford to step foot into a varsity and I know it (so does my bank balance) but…what they did was very brave and I take my bra off to them. I do this as the highest form of respect for real.
To stand up for a cause takes a lot of “apples” and I wish I had those “apples” in every area of my life.
I am a coward of note and would never risk doing anything that would land me even a stone throw away from a holding cell, let alone an actual jail. There are numerous reasons for this, number one, I fear having a criminal record because I heard even Shoprite won’t hire you as a packer if you have one of those and who would want to be rejected by Shoprite?
Number two, my aunt would kill me before I would get the chance to explain why I was there. My fear for her is too great to fight any system regardless of what it is, I am sorry dear comrades. Number three, I don’t wanna know what teargas smells like, I cannot run to save my life, I’d probably be more of a liability than a comrade during a protest. I am a giant coward and that is it!

It is with all these factors that I admire the students of 2015 who dared to stand up for what they believed in. So…power to those of you who know how to stand up for yourself at work with an unrealistic boss, in family matters with stubborn uncles, a government that buys luxury jets, or at school with ridiculously high fees. In all the fighting that you do, know that there is a coward out there that is me who is thinking and writing about you in her safe little corner admiring your courage.


I got married the other day

I tied the not a little over 6 months ago and it really has been a experience I will never forget.



But …this isn’t about me and my marriage, it’s more about the journey towards getting married from everyone else’s experience, lack thereof and all the advice I received, wanted and unwanted that I will write about.

I got advise from elders, young people, spinsters, bachelors, happily married folk, unhappily married folk, pastors, fiends, EVERYONE who pretty much had a mouth and an opinion.

I was told not to do it and that this would ruin my life because he would change after we got married and I’d be his slave disguised as a wife. I was told not to do it because my freedom would be a thing of the past, I’d never again see the light of day and that he’d never let me go out at night ever again! I thought snap then why do people still do it on that show that plays every Sunday at 7pm?  Why is Home affairs filled with bookings until next year?

Those really were confusing times for me…

During the count down to the big day I had all this advice running through my head. I was freaking out…what if I was really going to marry someone who pretended to be a Prince but instead would lock me up in a tower and I’d have to wait for an ugly ogre named Shrek to save me?  They told me I’d have to cook and clean and be a sex slave and I’d never be the same again. They joked about how married people wish to be single and how I was going against freedom.

So…I had a private meeting with myself and the god who created me. I told him to please teach me how to discern, I could not get how a man so sweet would turn into a big bad wolf because a ring was on my finger. How could so many years of knowing someone change after all we had been through.

I couldn’t get how people who didn’t know who he was could say that there was a 100% chance of being cheated on because he was a Zulu man. I asked my maker to teach me how to create a filter that would separate hogwash from wisdom, how to see someone who is speaking from a place of expertise and one speaking from a place of hurt. I wanted my maker to help me remember the advise to keep engraved on the palm of my hand and I asked him to show me the advise to flush down the drain.

He did that. I did that. We did that.

I am in no big place to give advice about marriage as I learn everyday, but what I can say is in all things seek the one who made you to be your ultimate teacher.