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THE DAY IT HAPPENED TO YOU

I was pleased to hear your name
I was amazed to see a face like you
Your smile, time stop for that moment to wonder
Scared as I was, my heart would had broken if I did not say hello
For once I took notice of my voice and your voice was unbelievable
I spoke my heart out
I told of secrets kept hidden from the rest
I held and assured you to never let go
My life was for you to protect
I held your hand and walk with you through that storm
Your tears I hold precious not to fall down
In your eyes I saw not an angel, but the image of the lady in my dreams
You told me I was everything that you ever wanted and likewise I said
I called you not darling, sweet heart neither my chocolate, but by your name
You said it was sweet, and your name was sweet
Then suddenly I was walking by past your place
I saw you holding his hand and I nearly died of honesty
Was it really you my sweet cheating on me?
I would not come to believe it
You saw me and your head went down and mind started to shake from left to right in disbelieve
It was the truth we lost it, we really lost it
You told me the day after my heart break that you never meant to hurt me
It was the truth you were always going to break my heart
Tears like a river come rolling down my cheeks
I wanted to hate you, but my love for you was too pure to consider it
Storm, storms and grey weather become my daily existence
I was dead inside for my smile is just a frown
Lady of mine you left me fragile
Then one day I smiled with myself for once to see what will happen
The thought of you just disappeared
I was free from you now
Then one day I heard you were looking for me
I found you sitting on top of a branch of a fallen tree
You ran and hugged me
Your face was full of tears
I wanted to push you away, but all I could do was embrace you
I embraced you because I knew how it hurt and nobody deserves it
You said he broke your heart and the pain was unbearable
I told you to stop because you made no sense
Then you started weeping, I had nothing on me to wipe your tears away
So I offered my brand new t-shirt
It mattered not to me that it was brand new, what mattered was you
You asked me how could he? I asked what could he what?
You said how could he take you away from me?
Was it a question you just asked me?
It was getting late; can I take you home I asked?
You said you had no place to call home and I was the only place you could call home
You begged for forgiveness, for what I asked?
Please forgive me for the hurt and pain I caused you
I said don’t worry with a face mixed with emotions
I could not show my disappointment neither my hurt
Damn you shouted!!!!
What went wrong you asked?
I said nothing went wrong was best answered
Believe in me and I believed in you
You said one day I will remember you
I said I don’t want to see your face again
Remember the summer you said it will never end
Remember the winter you said you felt warm in my arms
Now we speak of you, him and me, instead of the of us
It will make no difference if we cry foul
You hide behind lies with such truth
Your truth is far from your heart
Your thoughts are creeping far away from your mind
Remember this is what we call love
Forget what we call it, it was never meant to be
Loveless

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

THE POOL

One day as I was sitting and looking into an empty pool, inside it was a pair of black water boots, two rubbish plastics bags, a broom with beautiful red and black colour in the middle of the brush and water gloves with an ugly red colour.
The wall of the pool from the deep end was as high as a wall of an ordinary house, at the other end was the swallow end at the deep end the stairs were of a house, but they were kind of strange they did not start from the bottom, in other words the stairs were leading into the pool and not outside
The floor of the pool was like the sky, blue and white, the paint was tearing off, but this resembles of the sky looked ugly because there were black lines drawn across the sky, I felt like the pool, I compared my life to this pool and the lives of those around me.
The black in the pool represented darkness to me a place of death where no one was safe and the ugly red colour of the gloves seemed like blood of older people who had perished before and the beautiful red of the broom symbolised all those younger ones that lost their life to this pool
It all started to make sense to me, life was like this pool, we all started at the swallow end of the pool where it was safe, the deep end of the pool is inviting here is where the deep trouble is and everyone wants to get into deep trouble.
Children are also there beautiful people, rich people and poor and broken people everyone is swimming. Those in the swallow end don’t want to be at the swallow end no more, they also want to get into the deep end; the pool is really a pull
Those in the deep end will make fun of you, mocking you to join them in this deadly path they find themselves in, some will give in and follow the deep end, but a few will remain and stand their ground firm, wise souls indeed.
Those who follow will die young or old and some unlucky will perish on their first attempt, how many drowned I wondered?
The black boots were in the empty pool for a reason, all those who had drowned were maybe wearing them, the struggle to go up and the water entering the boots and keeping them down, how terrible even my soul mate went to the deep end and left me all alone where we were safe and content. Even where it is safe it is not when you are all alone, all your enemies attack you from every direction, you may be stay strong for a while, then like a lady named hope, you become the little girl named hopeless, the wounds all over your body makes you weak, the tears rolling down your cheeks and asking no one but yourself and say why me?.. Why me?
You gave in what other people said to you, you weak, ugly, useless, boring and so on, I gave in and went to join the deep end. It was good it was really great at first I thought to myself, but that was only for a short while, I was in and I couldn’t get out, it was a struggle to get out of this deep end. The people walking around you and you want to be with them were it is safe, but is a battle against those who are keeping you down and deeper in the pool and drowning you, laughing at you the very same people who told you it was fun in the deep end.
When I have nearly given up, I looked around and I saw a stretch hand, but was too weak to reach and grab it… This hand never grew tired of stretching, every time I looked around it was still there, this stretched hand gave me power and a little voice said you can do it. With all the power left inside of me, I stretched my hand and got hold of a finger, but He held on my hands and brought me closer to him, he held me with both hands and pulled me out of the pool of misery and sorrows
He embraced me and I started to feel safe again. He asked me what my name was, I told him and He was no stranger I felt like I knew him from the day before I saw light.
I felt strong and not weak like many told me before. He told me to look around and I looked, nothing was useless, plants were growing, babies crying, people laughing and hugging each other, birds are singing and a cool breeze brushing against my face I cried and smiled at the same time. I said to myself I ;am whatever I want to be, I was my best friend and I became my worst enemy, but now I’m where I belong it feels good to be with the people you love and who equally loves you back and finding our ways was not easy thing to do. I thanks Him for not giving up on me and I thank her for never stop loving me, but most importantly I give my gratitude for teaching me this wordless song.
We have learned a lesson not, but the beauty inside of us and say pain is nothing, fear is crippling , but a smile a genuine smile is everything and us we were made simple but complicated is what we are now

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

DREAM STORY

Have I forgotten the mirrored face I saw before?
Face that a lady once said to me awe
The birth had to be the hardest my thoughts tell
This turmoil and storms
This lighting and that wind, has all been this cycle in this life? Earthed
We never did what was needed to be done
It must have been a myth
Dreams scattered all round
Scattered all round dreams
All round scattered dreams
Round all scattered dreams
What madness he looked beyond the dream
The spirit of ancient wisdom was at once cast aside
Put down from the table were the light of the candle kept shinning
Away from the lamp that was over flowing with oil
Hidden under the carpet only to be trampled upon
Put deep in dungeons of dark places
Chained not to be set free, forced to conditions of inhuman
Tortured beyond hate, spitted on them faces, insulted by words of fury
Some succumbed to the pain and golden is where they lay, as said this is an ancient story
Today as seen some still have those scars and yet they shine so bright
Then look at their tortures, empty, miserable, sad, angry, and pitiful, colourless, dull, grey, sparkles
As said this is an ancient story.
The sad part in this tale, they thought they could kill the dream, yet they forgot they had their own dreams and yet those who believed in their dreams and held unto them through bad and good are still dreaming, notice the difference, their eyes are wide open, dreams

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

FOREVER

The pleasant things you would have said, that really mattered….. Was not the………
Now that you see, what really love really meant….. How it really made you free
The fool you see…… is this……the same that made you smile
The one t who sometimes made you cry
Prepared to let you go………………for your sake
Happy those moments you’ll recall………just in a glance you will realise
Remember, deep in the sea…………in a storm……………….in a small wooden boat….the sea was rough, but me and you were so tough..
That the mighty waves were so surprised by us………that they open up and calm down to make way for us
Lighting showed us our way
That moment is when we knew we were partners and best friends
There was no fear, only fun …
Fun

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

A PLACE

In my heart most vulnerable
Where in my mind do I realise
So true to be myself
In this sorrowful, scornful and eventful path
Where many men trade love for hate, truth for lies
Happiness for anger and one another for nothing
In land not ours, treasures not ours and life not ours
Do I see proud faces, when death comes treasures remain, where our pride looks will pride no more
Where what you said was yours will be measured
Where not even the greatest liar flatters with words nor say anything boastful and deceitful
Where we will be rewarded for his ways

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

A HEART SO BROKEN

So broken as glass, a feeling of it is over
Neither under the moon will they reach, not even my strong feet can reach
Is it too far?
Was it so short?
Can we believe it?
Keep breaking my heart
Keep playing my mind
Farther I cannot go
Under a tree will I rest with thorns as my pillow and wish to have a peaceful dream

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

ROOTS, TREE AND WISDOM

Be like a tree, stand like him
Feed without favour
Bear beautiful leaves
The rain a true companion
Lighting a rod to him
Tasty his fruits, everyone is impressed
Bitter his fruits, no one is impressed
His roots he never forgets, they his anchor
Have many hands like his branches
Take no advantage when his young
Careful when grown, he will crush anything
He is humble, the beginning of clarity

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

OLD RICH MAN

Most of them are north
Only those of broken hearts and thoughts remained south
Dreamers of money
I; am a fool to write this piece
Wisdom is better at the hands of those seeking him
She told me of older man and their fortune
For a moment I nearly drowned in my misery
I said his bones are as weak as his strength
His eyes as dim as the colour grey, but once he was young and great, it was then when his fortune was laboured for
Now he is not old enough, but weary of life
Now my princess go find yourself a hard working boy, grow with him, tell him of the rich old man and the sadness in his eyes
He will be astonished and question and say a rich old man who is sad?
Tell him not to waste your energy in getting rich; my son for the only regret of the rich is dying not in peace, bur poor slumber.
The poor die is harshly, but where they rest is quiet, golden and peaceful

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

STORMY NIGHT

No star shone, moon was not visible
Those of pleasure never noticed
Cowards went for the caves
Children are better when parents don’t lie
Grey, dark stormy night
Stormy night stormy heart
Don’t lie, please never lie
A man who fights with trees
Help me wake early

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

BY HER STONE HEART

Her eyes, never have I seen such light
No one beautiful was ever like her
No one is perfect, but no one truly sculptured her way
Her smile would charm dead or alive
She was beauty
In spite of angelic figure she had no angel inside of her
Her heart was cold, for everyone she loved is dead. Each gentle heart crushed to pieces
It was really her stone heart

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

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