There comes a time where time slows
Time just slows ’til it stops
And you can’t breathe
There comes a time when your insides are exposed
Every look towards you is hot
It burns ’til you can’t take the heat
Where your throat clogs up and it hurts
The world
The world no longer turns
Dead still
Your heart beat – lost
In a moment
A lifetime of pain washes down
It brings bags and relatives, it stays
It stays
The smell of blood lingers
Nothing
Is there
Cries
Nothing
Silence
The highest mountain, you can’t breathe
Can’t descend
Where pain engulfs you, holds you, squeezes, grips, extends a hand and doesn’t let go
It holds you
Sort of like soothing
But it’s digging at you, it’s digging
Closer and closer to your core
’til you scream you can’t take it anymore
But it’s not that kind of visit
Death
Touches you, kisses you, makes love to you, cuddles, holds you, squeezes, grips, extends a hand and never lets go
Death
Will linger until your last breath
Death
Your Last Friend.
Your Last Friend
Cape of No-Hope
Two hours
’till the silence of midnight falls.
And our sun hasn’t set.
Come outside and smell
the desolate red dusk of blazing eternity.
The endless humidity of clammy liquid air
filling the vessel known only as sky.
And when, from beneath the burning heat of the twilight’s waxing gibbous your face wanes for want of communion,
you find only the grating,
Grazing roar of the earth’s orbit
For a lullaby; its
Not obnoxious enough to split the ear drum of the fortunate
and not soothing enough to relieve the hearts of the omnipresent nobody’s.
So we bask in the red stained moonlight of a crimson twilight.
We burn in the heat of innumerable stars.
We shade our face from the blistering midnight,
until
Eskom turns off the street lights and we are human once more.
Wrapped in the blanket of our desolation beneath the unyielding gaze of fortunate passers in their
Civic.
Until
tomorrow’s soliloquy of sympathy conveys our misfortunes and illuminates our nothingness once more.
No food.
No bread.
Family to feed.
Please help.
Soledad
In the four walled cavity of my mind,
I make for myself an artificial night. And abound in the darkness
is the resonance of walls
which speak only silence.
I breathe memories
that dampen my spirit
and had it not been
for the warmth of my own solitude,
the very air that I remember would have frozen as crystals in my lungs.
I run my hands along reveries
and watch sepia brown emotions
which are as stagnant and unmoving
as the mud it has set in.
I, too,
sing a fearful trill
of things unknown
over distant hills.
In The Night Garden…
…I walk you down there,
Through the dark dank soil,
That grabs your souls and
Makes it hard to free your walk.
We see only by the twilight’s waning gleams,
Reflected off slivers of silver streams,
That echo our presence to the purple night,
Where darkness engulfs our only light.
But when we reach the gate ajar,
That makes our travel of near so far,
I see you no longer, we need not discover,
Instead of seeing, we may feel each other.
I lift your soul as you lift mine,
We plod no more, we stride divine.
And between our gardens gleaming streams,
Our lack of sight enshrines our dreams.
Free To Be
It may at first seem like only perception
But upon reflections on reflections
I surmise perhaps it is not me you despise
but the idea that, to you,
a simple notion is a subterfuge.
Too terrified to rely
on testimonies testified
by the lived reality of being confident enough to live openly
is a shame.
I, Too, sing a fearful trill
Of things unknown
Over distant hills.
The only out is cessation
that I pray for in emancipation.
When you smile out loud you are
reborn into recreation away from
an eternal damnation of the mind.
So become free.
As I play with words,
all doctrines deferred,
I dip my wings in the tempests
and mock the fervent roars
that seek to mute my humbled intellect.
I claim no wisdom
more than I AM able to live through and I give you no mandate
to doubt what I have been through. But the failure to connect
is a human defect that we are both afflicted by.
The only difference I see
between you and me
is that I am free to be and let be…
thus…
still I rise.
Future Of Tomorrow
Future of tomorrow is you, youth
You are so beautiful, so
Energetic, full of life.
Your thoughts are deep like an ocean.
You run like a cheater
You don’t have speed limit
You run without looking at
Your back, you forget where
You came from
The future of tomorrow is you
Every Saturday and Sunday
We see people gathered
Together at cemetery
When we come to see who
Is there we found that is you
Where is the future of tomorrow now?
Youth is buried like bugs everyday
Youth is dead only old people still
Stand where is our future?
Our country is going blind the future
Is gone, the light is off it has become
Dark the future of tomorrow is gone.
What could I have done?
As I watch movies of apartheid,
as I read of apartheid,
as I hear of apartheid
as I imagine the apartheid era
I ask myself:
What could I have done?
Was I going to fight or flee?
Was I going to be courageous or a coward?
Would I have stood rockstill or hide?
Would I live to tell the tale or would the tale tell of me?
What would my part have been?
Would I have endured the pain or gave into it?
Could I have been able to see the sun through the thunder storm?
Could I have believed in the silver linings of the dark clouds?
Could I have been able to imagine the light at the end of the tunnel?
Could I have been able to hold on till tomorrow?
Could I have been able to believe that oneday these teargas tears
would once be tears of joy?
That these wounds would once be wounds of belief,hope and courage?
Would I have had hope for a better tomorrow?
That I would once shake hands with my enemy?
That this nightmare would once benefit generations to come
I also ask myself
would I have carried the cross with Jesus or crucified him?
As a daughter of the South African soil
I would like to give a great applaud to our fallen stars,
Our forgotten soldiers,
Our heroes and heroines,
Both alive and those only with us in spirit,
may their names be written in every black seed’s mind and heart
may we carry their courage in our souls
may every history book remind us of them
may every street corner,monument and statue be for and about them
may we remember them in all our country’s victory and achievements
For they are the reason why I can write,walk,talk,breathe,sleep and live freely
Amandla to you all!
For having fought for a dream that you carried only in your
hearts and souls
For enduring the pain,
For standing for what you believed in,
For being selfless
I the daughter of the soil would like to say
THANK YOU!
I’ll Bend For You
As much as I can fold,
I’ll go
I’ll wrap up all my soul,
You know
I’ll trim back parts of me you don’t like,
So we won’t fight,
So you’ll be right,
So you can…
Tell me when it’s enough
When I’ve smoothed out the rough
Not deserving of your love?
I’ll do whatever, I’ll give me up.
Fold me over till I’m tiny
For your L.O.V.E
You won’t see the real me
Tell me now, am I worthy?
Hide me
They said to hide knowledge from a black people you should hide it in the book.
That their brains are as short as their hair.
Today I hide myself with embarassment,ashamed.
When the future education is destroyed by corruption,when they are warming the seats with corruption and incompitence.
I hide myself when future give no darn about spelling and grammar.
When the only word can spell is ‘no job’ and ‘no food’.
Hide me,hide me I’m scared.
Scared for South Africa’s children.
Rather learn how to mislead the youth,and how to pay someone to kill anyone who makes your seat uncomfortable.
Than to end up being shot by police for mining your kid’s bread.
Or drag to hell for being you.
Someone hide me
let it go
i love you echoes in my ears
though from a distance
fading
as the wind sweeps them on the tee barks
grass and the sand
lingering, through tiny hole
body in cold eyes watery
hands shaking
remains my communication language
he, walking lackadaisically
as if it did not exist
without heart and care
after the venom,breaking
the fragile heart,
memories start haunting
like a winter wind
speechless.
tears dry ,forcing a smile
though heart is bleeding
accepting the future ,
and forgetting the past,
memories
