Often I feel I’ve done too much this time;
And that there is no way back of which I can find;
My problems surround me like a starless night;
And worry has my spiritual man blind;
I feel like I’ve played You for a fool for the last time;
When I asked for forgiveness only to ask You the same thing the very next night;
If I was You I would have given up on me and turned away my face;
Yet it’s as if before I ask You come and offer me mercy and grace;
Things I will never understand about the depth of Your love, too hard to explain;
Things I could never live without and need more and more everyday;
Nothing can compare to Your ever lasting grace;
That You without question wash my sins away as if I never sinned in the first place;
Lord what makes You love me this way;
I know alot of girls just like me can’t understand why Almighty God would waste His power and time;
On a stubborn fool like me who can’t shake a sin filled life;
But whatever it is that makes You love me so much I am forever thankful and will be until I die;
The hell I went through here will be well worth the moment You and me lock eyes for the very first time;
And You say “Well done good and faithful servant” with tears in Your eyes;
While I can’t stand in Your presence and fall to Your feet and cry;
You lift me up and say “I have been waiting for this moment for a long time”;
As You replay all the prayers I sent to heaven at night;
Asking to meet You face to face and being disappointed when it felt like You ignored my cries;
When in fact You were right there by my side all the time;
Even before I called Your name while consumed by fear in the darkness of the night;
I just couldn’t see for in my spirit my vision was blind;
I can’t wait to feel what a whole heart feels like again;
It’s been so long that I’ve become used to living this way;
I forgot that I was meant to live like a King and not like a slave;
I was of a royal bloodline because of the living sacrifice You made;
I can’t wait to relive my childhood days;
That I miss so much now but were snatched away;
A place where I no longer miss my past and feel regret and blame;
For breaking her heart when I had no clue about life or love or the cost of making a mistake;
Where I can write You songs and poetry of praise;
And watch You read it with tears streaming down Your face;
Where we will laugh at my earthly days;
Where I acted the fool as if I was the most important person to be alive;
A place where there is no fear and a struggle to survive;
A place where real love resides and not the substitute love we’ve come to know in this life;
Where hearts are never broken and where no one can erase your smile;
Where everything is free and everything costs nothing;
Where I can come see You face to face without fighting opposing forces just to tell You something;
A place where my name is written in the Book of Life with gold etching;
Where I feel famous and have a mansion of my own to live in;
And no one can judge me or hurt me for their own selfish reasons;
Where the grim reaper’s clock is no longer ticking away;
Where I can walk without fear or worry for the rest of my days;
Where I need not fight temptation and loose all the time and not know why I do the same things over and over again;
Where I never have to worry about tomorrow and what it may hold;
A place where I don’t hate people but cherish them like gold;
A place where my tears are stored for me to see like the bible always told;
I can’t wait to go back to my first home;
The place I left to fight this war, oh I can’t wait to go back home, the birth place of my soul