I mean I write truth in these poems

I the defender
Could find no defence for myself
I was judged by a jury of my peers
And found guilty
Even though he were the accused

I looked to an officer of the peace
But he could offer me none
I searched the systems
And spoke to the Lady
Justice was not shown
You are not beyond reasonable doubt

Now I say these words
They stand in judgment
Jailing you in a rhyme
That holds indisputable TRUTH

This is the only retribution I’m gonna receive
Declarations to the world
Put in a poem
This is my justice
Its poetic justice

Its a far away moment
Even though I’m in it
Pulling strayed bits of strained me
Inability to live presently
Come together
Feel this, its good, come closer

Just when it does, holding it for seconds
Feels good, pull it closer
Pulling into me, losing touch with reality
I can’t stay long,
because I know it will be gone

This moments that’s enough
Telling me I won’t do
Seeing all my wrong
Mourning what’s gone
Hiding myself in myself
Just to keep on

“Lose yourself in the moment”
“You only get one shot”
The moments gone
So am I

Take me away
Let’s go there
I need to go
to get away

I wana feel something
Something new
Look in wonder,
Lay my eyes on unseen
Beauty is difference
let’s go, let’s go see

Itchy feet and empty pockets
Let’s have an adventure
In the sun, or shade, grass or sand
Let’s just go!

Go to anywhere
Let’s go there
Take me there
There where we can feel
Feel anything

You see I’ve said these words many times
Easily
To any who wished to hear
But I’m thinking what does love mean? What does my love mean?

My love is loyal
I’m not saying there won’t be another you
I’m saying I don’t want there to be another you
Its Long lasting, like the Nile

My love is abundant
I’m not saying you haven’t hurt it, and oh you’ve hurt it
But it flows from no end, gushing, like the Victoria falls

My love is hot
I’m not saying it isn’t sometimes cold, because yes it sometimes is
But it burns like a day in the Sahara

My love is uhuru (yeah I said it)
I’m not saying I won’t put you down, because sometimes I want to
But with it you will reach the peaks of Kilimanjaro

My love its for you

What a thing it is to love you
Every little
thing!
Its burning flames
On my skin
But baby it feels so
Good
To
love your every
Way
begining and end
bad and so sad

I see that charred skin
I am crying out, oh baby, what a thing it is to love you!
And when I love you, the way a woman lovvves a man
Only one thing can
Be born

My body calling your divinity toward
Narrowed Eyes pitched to your full
Lips
Lips that must, must reach mine
I crave your fullness
Smother you in mine
Begging for just
Momentary freedom
between thighs soft, more than yellow
Bone

What a thing it is to love you
To wish for release
from you in me
or away to go

I cannot have you
Be my love
And I cannot
Let you go
Oh but baby, what a thing it is to love you

Can you understand longing for something that is there?
I can. I long for you.
I miss you Mummy.

You were magic. Every kind of woman, it was in you.
But it undid you.
It was too much. No one can blame you.
I miss you Ma

I can’t regret the times we did spend.
The effort you put it.
The only memories I have
I miss you Mum

I hate what happened.
I hate what you did to me
You left me. You left us, you even left you.
You aren’t you anymore. You’re not magic.
I miss you Ama.

I long for someone who’s in the next room.
Can you understand?
Missing someone thats there.

Sick
Wrecked with anxiety and ignorance
Tasting breakfast again and later moms spaghetti
So much confusion! What’s a girl gotta do?

Nothings in place, there’s no sense
Just drifting from here to there
Thoughts firing everywhere
Drowning in desire and impatience
Depression’s the name of this game

I’m in all spaces while staying still
Trapped in a edgy skin that won’t tear
Craving anything to subdue
The impossible tirade of think

Thinking thoughts relentless
Sinking feelings ruthless
Pills and thrills, people in heapfuls
Nothing mattering mutterings
Relief needed so desperately
A futile search

Keep playing the game
Cycles continue
Persistent moments that cannot be sustained
Begging to stop
“Ideas are like a virus”

There’s a light coming,
It edges a moment at a time
It says “hold on, draw close, step forward”

It was there in the distance,
Too faint to trust
Never stoked by shut eyes
It flickered, whispered, and dimmed.

It grew. Spurned on by other wide eyes, cheering for attention.
It started to call softly
Fearful shut eyes crept open
I see you they both said

What a sight it was to see, a light burning, eyes glowing
Still far off, the two gazed.
Fearfully moving gainfully forward.
It won’t be long now

It won’t be long now till the two meet

No words will ever describe,
Your beautiful description.
Your image pierces an unexpected distraction.
My God, you are beautiful!
How are you able to deny that?!
Muhle intombazane, Aḻakāṉa

Golden glow, more than a suns kiss
Soft smooth stretched bronze
Scents of cocoa, sweetness and spices
Decorated with strips and stripes
Cautious to a hands touch,

Belowing black mass of mess
Fingers run in unrefined silk
Staining pillows with flower smells
A crown on a boredroom princess
Enthrall, entangle, ebony

Brown eyes and big smiles
Full cheeks n dimpled sides
Dimpled everything.
Unprecedented voluptuousness
Filling, struggling, tugging, squeezing
Mocked and worshiped

Small hands, worked feet
Deep voiced and bright mind

You are a beautiful woman.
Believe it.

All you have been is a waste.
You never once stood up for me.
Your existence was my failure,undoing, and punishment.
Just a damn tool for others plans of destruction or pleasure
A masterful escape route for uncontainable anger
Yet now again you will not stand for me?!

No I say to supple forms n mountain bossoms!
To softness shaded purple and blue
To guilt to shame to disgust
What are you? Failure!
I wish to return you, I wish you were not me.

Filth.

Wathintha abafazi, Wathintha imbokodo? Ha.
Every curve yelling out weakness.
Take it back! Take it all back!
Trade in bountiful backsides n tender lips, for broad backs n big hands.
I cannot be your victim.