Raw Pain

You’re so bad for me, but just can’t let you go.
You’re killing me inside, but I still need you so.
Your words pierce deep into my chest, penetrating my heart.
Your love is your cruel, sadistic art.
My love for you started pure but now its tainted
I try to hide my emotions. cover it, paint it.
I’m not like you, I feel my emotions intensely
The pain I feel, I feel immensely.
Before you, I lived a sheltered life
Before you, I dreamt of being a wife.
I feel like you’ve shattered my last dream.
I feel maybe I need to be strong enough to start clean.
Everyone else can depend on you but why cant I?
Why is one I love making me feel like I should die?
I don’t feel your love, I don’t feel your affection.
I feel like we’re slowly losing any pre-existing love connection.
The negative emotions you fill me with, slowly suffocate me.
I don’t know who or what it is that you want me to be.
I wish I was an orphan, so I could end it all without hurting those who may really care.
The pain that runs thru my veins I can no longer bare.
I’m slowly losing my mind, I’m slowly going insane.
All my efforts have been in vain.
I need to stop it, I’ll do whatever it takes.
I need to stop it, even if my heart once more breaks.