Dear Mamma, it’s been quite a while;
Since last we spoke and you cracked a smile;
Now days it’s seems all we seem to do right is fight;
We live in the same house but it feels like we’re living two different lives;
You seem to be busy and work late into the night;
When you get home I want to run into your arms and hold you tight;
As I approach you seem to anticipate something and sigh;
So instead of affection, rejection creeps in and wipes away my smile;
I don’t know where we went wrong, is the fault all mine;
I know one thing for sure, you and I are very alike;
You keep all you issues bottled up deep inside;
I do the same, hiding it from the world with a pretentious smile;
But I feel my time is running out with each passing day;
I’ve tried talking to you but it seems my words go unheard and astray;
You were once my cornerstone, the one I’d approach unafraid;
Lately my life has fallen apart as we’ve grown distant and joy has been replaced by pain;
So I’m writing you this letter to tell you I still love you will my all that will never change;
We may have drifted apart for reasons unknown, I’m sorry if I’m too blame;
I know often you’ve approached me and I’ve pushed you away;
Those times you did, life was getting the better of me, I’m so sorry for doing you that way;
Can we give it another try before you give up and get resentful towards me again;
I need you, you are all I have, my dad never gave a f*ck and that hasn’t changed;
He never calls me, he’s got a new family, he was never there and it’s still the same;
I know I’ve been a burden since I was in my teens, but I’m trying my best to make up for my younger days;
I’ve tried calling on heaven, the line seems to be engaged;
So whenever I pray, I leave Jesus a 911 voicemail;
In hopes He will move heaven and earth to make a way;
I must be doing something wrong cause He remains silent and I can only imagine I’m to blame, guess my sins messed up mine and His relationship like it has mine and yours or so I assume;
Whatever it is, know I’m sorry, I’m a saint with sinners problems, it’s not an excuse;
I’m trying to change, but I’m a result of life’s constant grind and abuse;
It’s hard fighting this war and I don’t know what else to do;
I’ve tried it all but it’s no use;
Tried being holy, but failed every single test;
Asked God to chill, I don’t need a teacher at the moment, I need a friend;
I guess He ain’t listening, feels like everything is falling apart and the pain never ends;
I often spend nights up late, cause my life is in a mess;
I can’t sleep, I haven’t got no peace, I’m in constant torment;
I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m going to do, truth be told I just wish the world would go into world war 3 and come to end;
So I can look up and see Jesus return again;
Either that or I’m hoping the next call I get is the grim reaper coming to collect my sin’s debt;
I want to end my own life, but I’m too scared of ending up in hell forever;
I’m alive but it feels like I’m part of the walking dead;
I just wanted you to know I love you and I’m sorry for causing you all that pain;
If I had a chance I’d go back in time and make up for all the tear stains I tattooed on your beautiful face.
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