Letter From A Broken Heart

Dear Mamma, it’s been quite a while;

Since last we spoke and you cracked a smile;

Now days it’s seems all we seem to do right is fight;

We live in the same house but it feels like we’re living two different lives;

 

You seem to be busy and work late into the night;

When you get home I want to run into your arms and hold you tight;

As I approach you seem to anticipate something and sigh;

So instead of affection, rejection creeps in and wipes away my smile;

 

I don’t know where we went wrong, is the fault all mine;

I know one thing for sure, you and I are very alike;

You keep all you issues bottled up deep inside;

I do the same, hiding it from the world with a pretentious smile;

 

But I feel my time is running out with each passing day;

I’ve tried talking to you but it seems my words go unheard and astray;

You were once my cornerstone, the one I’d approach unafraid;

Lately my life has fallen apart as we’ve grown distant and joy has been replaced by pain;

 

So I’m writing you this letter to tell you I still love you will my all that will never change;

We may have drifted apart for reasons unknown, I’m sorry if I’m too blame;

I know often you’ve approached me and I’ve pushed you away;

Those times you did, life was getting the better of me, I’m so sorry for doing you that way;

 

Can we give it another try before you give up and get resentful towards me again;

I need you, you are all I have, my dad never gave a f*ck and that hasn’t changed;

He never calls me, he’s got a new family, he was never there and it’s still the same;

I know I’ve been a burden since I was in my teens, but I’m trying my best to make up for my younger days;

 

I’ve tried calling on heaven, the line seems to be engaged;

So whenever I pray, I leave Jesus a 911 voicemail;

In hopes He will move heaven and earth to make a way;

I must be doing something wrong cause He remains silent and I can only imagine I’m to blame, guess my sins messed up mine and His relationship like it has mine and yours or so I assume;

 

Whatever it is, know I’m sorry, I’m a saint with sinners problems, it’s not an excuse;

I’m trying to change, but I’m a result of life’s constant grind and abuse;

It’s hard fighting this war and I don’t know what else to do;

I’ve tried it all but it’s no use;

 

Tried being holy, but failed every single test;

Asked God to chill, I don’t need a teacher at the moment, I need a friend;

I guess He ain’t listening, feels like everything is falling apart and the pain never ends;

I often spend nights up late, cause my life is in a mess;

 

I can’t sleep, I haven’t got no peace, I’m in constant torment;

I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m going to do, truth be told I just wish the world would go into world war 3 and come to end;

So I can look up and see Jesus return again;

Either that or I’m hoping the next call I get is the grim reaper coming to collect my sin’s debt;

 

I want to end my own life, but I’m too scared of ending up in hell forever;

I’m alive but it feels like I’m part of the walking dead;

I just wanted you to know I love you and I’m sorry for causing you all that pain;

If I had a chance I’d go back in time and make up for all the tear stains I tattooed on your beautiful face.