Fading into dark

I look in the mirror
and I see YOUR face.
You stare back at me
with deeply haunted eyes
All I have are fragments of memories
that replay in my mind…
I feel the heat creep up my neck,
it travels to my eyes and rests,
brimming on my eyelids.
I close my eyes,
trying to keep them from spilling.

I see a faint shadow,
it beckons me further away.
The shadow distracts me
to the point of insanity,
where I no longer see reality
yet still continue on aimlessly.
I am trapped in another realm,
another level of consciousness.
I cannot allow myself
to venture into the darkness
for I shall not return unscathed.

Which option do I choose?
Do I leave the dam wall to
slowly crack under the mounting pressure
finally bursting it’s walls, water covering me,
slowly seeping into my lungs, choking me,
filling me until I sink to the bottom…
or do I voluntarily open the floodgates,
releasing the power and drowning me instantly…?


My whole world is crushed,
I wish I wasn’t here.
I think that they’d be better off
if I could just disappear.
Please forgive me for my sins,
I have lost a part I’ve known
Why does this torment me so…
it was easier when my heart was my own.

I planned to walk out the door…
and leave all my troubles behind.
I would run from my past demons
and pray that me…they wouldn’t find.
I would forget all my built castles;
just leave them there in the sand.
I would forget how much I loved you,
and how hard you tried to understand.

I would pretend that I had the nerve
to do something so vile.
I would believe my heart was a stone
and I could do it with a smile.
I would convince myself to break my vow
and disappear without a trace.
I would show you and the world,
that I could live without your embrace.

But the truth, you see, that I have found
is that I could not be so unkind.
I would spend my life with much regret
of the life I had left behind.
You’re a part of me, and I’m a part of you-
no one could ever take your place.
We need to create our own happiness,
in our own time in space…