Creatures of the night

Night falls darkness surrounds me
it sounds the siren for them
the creatures of the night
you cannot see them
as they invade your mind
making your fears come alive

you cannot hide from your
own mind
so you wait in agony
for the dawn to arrive
when no creature can harm you

until till then you wait
to weak to fight the
creatures of the night
you created them
only you can destroy them

reaching for a little box
full of white pearls
just one you say just one
and you fall asleep
to waken at dawn


We have lowered the standards to suit us
Compromising and compensating quality for quantity
We run a race with paralyzed competitors
Shying away from pitting ourselves against the real best

We have made ourselves a people of limited potential
Refusing to push ourselves harder
We pull the finishing line backwards to shorten the race
But when we hit it we celebrate like real champs

We have promoted laziness among ourselves
Celebrating our mediocrity as the best
We create our own little comfort zone
Comforting and consoling ourselves with a whole lot of stupid excuses

We claim that we are the best
Though we know it’s not true
We put blinkers on our eyes
So we won’t see that others are doing far better than us

We blame others for our own failures
Instead of analyzing and rectifying our errors
We cry foul when things don’t go our way
The entire universe is to blame but us

We keep repeating the same old things
But expect different results
We complain about everything
Except for our own attitude and laziness

We have formed a perfect friendship with the warmth of our blankets
Why hurry out of bed
We eat far more than we earn
As we only live our lives for the present moment

After 2016 Olympics in Brazil, Rio

They asked me, where is South Africa?
I told them, it is a country situated
at the bottom Southern tip of the continent, Africa.
They did not understand.

I told them: It is where;
Wayde van Niekerk and
Caster Mokgadi Semenya
Comes from.

Again, I told them: it is where;
Sunette Viljoen
Luvo Manyonga,
Chad le Clos,
Cameron van de Burgh,
Lawrence Brittain and Shaun Keeling
Comes from

Again and again, I told them, it is where;
Blitzboks and
Henri Schoeman
Comes from.

And, they suddenly
Because, they shaped SA well
in Rio 2016 Olympics in Brazil.


So you want to play God over my happiness
You decide when I can have a smile on my face
When I can have my face soaked in tears
You simply make and break my happiness

Why am I even crying
Am I crying because I dread the thought of life without you
No, I am crying because I hate every memory of the day we first met
I regret everything about that day

I regret every second of my life I have allowed you to waste
All I want now is to just forget about you and pretend like you were never there
I will forever regret giving you far too many chances
When all you ever begged for was only one

You think you have me right where you want me
Wrapped around your little finger eating from your palm
You’re convinced that I don’t know that love is not what you want me to think it is
My mind is blind I don’t see anything, you fool yourself

You want to believe that hitting and kicking me is just another way of expressing your love to me
When you yell, shout and scream at me all you are doing is loving me loudly
You seem to believe that all my pain and tears can easily be wiped and dried by a single kiss
We can just kiss make up and forget everything

Touch me

Touch me touch me
I say I need your touch
I want to feel loved
I need to feel loved

so touch me
make me al warm inside
let me feel your skin
your skin on my skin

Touch me touch me
caress my soul
your touch means a world
where i feel safe

Dit is uit jou hopelose situasie

Dit is uit jou hopelose situasie
waaruit God jou roep
en jou verseker
jy is nooit alleen.

Maak nie saak wat gebeur
God sal jou nooit verlaat
en jou nooit aan jou eie genade oorlaat
omdat Hy n plan met jou lewe het.

Hy weet wat Hy wil maak
met alles wat jou lewe raak
en hoe Hy dit kan gebruik
om Sy planne met jou lewe bereik.

Al wat ons moet doen
is om alles in God se hande te los
en in geloof te wag
op God se perfekte tydsberekening.

(C) Ellie Bezuidenhout

Wanneer ons stil word voor God

Wanneer ons stil word voor God
en Hom vertrou vir wat Hy beloof
het Hy sal doen
antwoord Hy op n manier wat ons nooit verwag.

Ons weet alles verander
en ons kan anders kyk
na dit wat ons deurmaak
omdat ons gevul is met Sy krag.

Ons is toegerus vir wat ook al op ons wag,
want ons weet Hy is met ons
al moet ons deur hoe swaar gaan
en ons sal sterker staan as ooit tevore.

In stil wees en vertrou
sal geloof ons staande hou
omdat ons weet wanneer ons glo
sal alles vir ons uitwerk.

God se liefde

God se liefde
Gee ons die vertroue
Om op te staan en om elke dag
Meer as oorwinnaars te leef.

Dit is omdat Hy ons dra
Deur elke swaar
En ons Hom beter leer ken
Om te sien hoe Hy vir ons omgee.

Dit is hoe Hy deur ons pyn
Ons toerus met Sy krag
En ons sterk maak
Om elke dag ten volle te leef.

Dit is hoe Hy ons lewens
In Sy groter plan gebruik
Wat ons verseker dat Hy ons liefhet
Meer as wat ons ooit kan dink of verstaan

(C) Ellie Bezuidenhout

That Emotional Bullshit

I am 10 shades darker than awkward, I am what my opinion of myself contradicts,
a walking metaphor on the other side of a burnt bridge,
I shrink back at the sight of love.
My shadow follows a empty dictionary with no meaning
because I’m still trying to define myself.
Some days I love you with all I have,
other days it gets hard to remember your smell.
Forgive me but have I ever loved you before? your heart feels like a familiar place,
one day you might completely understand me but not today.
I have surgical footprints and I barely dictate my own movements,
I question God and why he has failed to prove his own existence.
I cannot change the world I barely change my screensaver,
I hold on to my own nightmares and refuse to give it to the dream catcher.
I love you but maybe not deeply enough,
everyday I try to leave you so you cannot hurt me 6 years from now.
you fell in love with idea of me but don’t know what my scars are about,
maybe I’m not cut out for this type of life,
the “happily ever after, til death do us apart”.
I can no longer play these fucking game with you,
don’t use me like a bus station, you cannot love me like it’s an option to you.
Stop treating me like an emotional doormat,
the fabrics on my skin wasn’t meant for the soles of your feet,
I was perfectly fine til you decided to halfway love me.

I’m a pigeon in the subway trying to blend with flamingoes,
I walk across the sun then slide down rainbows.
I wear a crown in my sleep and my heart beats to reggae,
there is so many things I want to share with you but you just not there yet.
Somewhere on the surface I despise you,
you have let go 4 times before, how dare you.
Yes I’ve counted, no I haven’t decided.
whether the joke is really on me?
and do you get a kick on pulling all the strings?
or do I control who we could actually be?
I try to think about people who could soul love me and I can’t even find one,
just a sad reminder of how lonely I’ve become
Maybe no one wants to know who I am,
I try to let people in but I can’t.
I don’t smile often, I cry instead,
but it’s okay these tears dry themselves.
Just waiting for someone to love me even when the lights go on,
I don’t want you to settle for me I want to be the one you chose.
I strip in front of the mirror every morning, decode all my emotions,
remove my insecurities, take off my guilt and leave my pride on the floor,
then put them all back on before anybody knows.
My silence too loud to fit in my back pocket so I have become it,
I’ve been running away since I was 11 but now I’m just too tired,
I can hear my mistakes catching up to me if I really stay quiet,
I give up on myself every weekend it’s better than pretending that I was trying.
If somehow your feelings change, I know you would tell me,
I’m not broken but some parts of me are missing.
This is just a fraction of what I have yet to say,
Still conquering demons in my own brain.
I hear my own voice while listening to 808s and heartbreaks
but when you finally figured out how to love me I just hope its not too late.

The Negro Man Who Called Me Queen

He touched me with the mahogany tree branch on his skin,
I could taste the cinnamon in his blinks…
as he stared at me,
I love the way my name emancipated his tongue into an African type of beauty,
and his voice was a familiar sound that took centuries to reach me.
he said “Nubian Queen, they can’t love your sunkissed skin,
but they don’t know that this is the shade that I’m inlove with.”

I’ve spend 4,015 days trying to wash away the coffee stains my parents poured on to me,
hoping that one day I’ll fit into the tone of my own painting,
waiting on my own people to recognize me.
Pain is black men telling you that your are too dark to make it to your own wedding,
that you have to try a little harder since yellow is not the colour you painted in,
rejection is black men telling you that you should start dating white guys
with stripped ties
who might love those charcoal tights,
and I looked for love in the wrong places my whole life.

So tell me negroid man how did you see me without the lights on?
did this melanin call the sun in your eyes like its dawn.
forgive me, I get nervous when you look at me,
do you really think I’m beautiful?
He smiled and said…
“beautiful is when you pour acceptance into the cracked spaces in your heart,
its when you are able to outline your drawing with love,
beautiful is being half a glass full but still enough,
its what your mirror is entirely made of.”
he walked into my life with soft honey melodies in between each footstep,
he counted the teardrops on my hands and said “Empress I’ve loved you way before social media turned you into a hashtag.”