you’ve neva been a 100, but that’s ok
coz im 120 so ur 80 is ok
im not referring to beauty or IO scores
im simply referring to the basic laws
laws of attraction is what im talking about
the laws we cannot do without
no scientific assessment can detect
but im fairly certain that my hypothesis is correct-
you impair my ability to protect my heart
you were my weakness right from the start
this might sound silly or even insane
but at least my heart wasn’t taken in vain
you gave me the courage to be strong
and vanquished everything that doesn’t belong

The rose colour of your mouth
stirs something primordial inside of me –
I smile along with you.
Plump little hands reach for my face.
I hold still
while you explore my heart with a feathery touch.

When you are asleep,
I look over the papers of your collage fund.
We could make it
if we would forsake frivolities.
It will be no hardship for me to do so.
I smile contentedly.

The boxer puppy lying at my feet;
quite content–
its stomach pink and extended:
he ate too greedily
(as usual).
You will grow up together
and share our unconditional love.

The cricket bat,
signed by the national team,
takes pride of place in its brackets on your bedroom wall –
a pale dove blue
(matching the colour of your eyes).
A gift from your dad –
sure that you would follow in his footsteps.
A rainbow of possibilities prostrate at your feet.

I check every now and again
whether you are breathing.
Sleeping soundly,
neither a frown upon your smooth face,
nor a care in the world.
Your long, black eyelashes quiver slightly,
as though following a dream –
a dream we all shared:
a dream of boundless expectations …

**************

Exhuming long forgotten memories;
mingling with my fevered tears –
echoing my breaking heart.

They lead you away.
Assaulting the arresting officer
had sealed your fate.

Mildewed expectations
best laid to rest
together with the memories of you.

The sky has lost its colour,
as I step outside the courtroom.

© 2013 Suzette Crous

I walk this path In solitude, my distant future set in stone.

And gaze upon a sunrise far away, deserted, empty and alone.

The dream I cherished in my heart; – our failure took it all apart, while anger, hurt and pain are the only emotions that remain.

A bond of love until our dying day, till evil came and stole your heart away.

Now at the setting of the sun, I hide my soul and run, for in the darkness of the night, I loose my life’s delight when haunted by the absence of your love…

In sudden apparition like from a haunted soul, I came across the remnants of forgotten shame that dried the bones and devoured flesh of all that seemed of godly creed.

I consumed the flame that burned within and gave the saints desire to go forth and reach the eastern wall, and found within my scattered soul a ransom for the loss of years gone by. This sealed by soulful sacrifice, my life’s torment away from grace, and there upon a worldly stage, – the role I played became the reason for complete disgrace.

Through heavens gate I willed my way, to fulfill my sinful fate, and ultimately my future became the devils bait.

With pride, enduring a heart that broke, in reverence to all the harmful souls who charmed my innocence to meet their goals, – I carried this burden like a yoke…

Peeling paint crumbling down these dirty walls,
dripping slowly to the dusty floor.

Puddles of tears gathering at her feet,
mouth wide open, arms stretched above her head,
cheek sliding down against the filth.
Nails digging into the now soft walls,
gripping, tearing…breathing.
Sinking slowly to the floor.

She screams.
He walks down the narrow corridor of their lives.

Smiling faces on the walls,
eyes blazing with anticipation.

Figures tear from the framed perfection of stolen smiles,
heads turned to face the Shadow Man.

Mouths open and fingers point.

Lies, lies, liar.

He walks slowly,
the damned walk of the dead.

Grimaces and grins return to their still life forms.

They know.

He knows.
She lies on the floor, blood pouring from her open mouth,
swallowing the crystal tears of their shattered life.
He steps over her, crunching the crystal tears staining her uncurled fingers.

So much dust,
so much serpent tongued words dribbling down his cheeks.

He walks on, 
towards the open door.
Laughter rings out, and the Shadow Man turns.

Crouched on a bright white box balances a familiar face,

A clown, with one tear to spare.

The clown dances wildly before the box,
light filtering through the demon filled chest.

The white faced woman drops her head to the side,
smiling grossly, running her fingers across the box.

She knows.

They know.

He knows.
He turns to run.

She is there, her cold hands on his shoulders,
green eyes staring into his hollow face.

The trapped images from the walls scream with animal delight.

The clown shakes her head, the white box moves towards them,
carried by the spiders and snakes of her nightmares.

The clown kicks the man to the ground.
It is, as it has always been.

She looks down at the man,
searching for a glimpse of the father that should have been there.
The last crystal tear falls.

She throws her head back and twirls. 

The box is bound to the Shadow Mans back.

He crawls along the broken passage of their lives,
cutting his hands on the shattered glass of lost memories.
He reaches out for the woman lying on the floor.

She turns away from his shame,
and finds comfort in the crumbling paint of her old life.

She rises, and her shadow falls over him. 

He crawls towards the open door.

Loneliness embraces him.

The smiling faces in the photographs shimmer and stretch,
and the Shadow Man disappears.

The frames fall to the ground, empty.
The clown turns and walks back up the passage,
running her hands along the walls,

feeling every memory and wasted heartache,

she crouches in the dark and weeps.

All is silent.

Eyes that smile as hearts beat wild; – our love had found its destiny’s child.

Unspoken words with sweet embrace, surrendered our souls in complete loves grace.

Our bond of love no sacrifice, we took a chance and rolled the dice; – we played the game, our souls consumed by eternal flame.

Regret and pain, our only gain, for now we walk in stormy rain as with time, inevitably our separation came.

Our love has died and no one cried, our hearts ripped out, we live in doubt, and now we know, we have nowhere left to go…

I want to know what you wished for
When the tooth fairy paid you a visit when you were little
And took your broken tooth away
Was it a castle you wished for or a ride on a cow over the moon?

I want to know what you longed for when you are deep in your thought,
at a place where were none can reach you . Is it the paths across the forest
that lead you to the place you long to be?

I want to know what it is that you ache for as the shooting stars race
Across the velvet sky, as you lay awake on your bed.
I want to know what your dreams are so that they can be mine too
I want to know so that I will take that path with you that will lead you to them

My winters are colder my nights seem longer my days are endless my mind relentless

It’s finished… You’re gone… Our road as one has ended, always destined to walk separate paths

Once entwined now divided, I’m shattered but I’m fine, broken

I remember the days filled with passion and ecstasy the love making and summer strolls

I remember your lies, anger, lust and betrayal, I remember the crying, the begging and the pleading…

Nights of endless beatings, left battered and bruised blood stained and used.

I remember your shame. Your sorries your pain, I was so forgiving so stupid so young so vain.

In the dark these memories flow and I now I know why I had to let you go, my love, my life, my one, my hate…

As I lay here broken and scared I never could have been prepared, you came into my broken heart and
Ripped and tore my soul apart, now the demons awake and near….

In the dark these memories flow and I remember why I let you go, my love, my life my one my hate…