Am i really a born free?

Lives were sacrificed
Blood was shed
Families were torn apart
Principles and values were broken
Everyone was striving for freedom, independance and equality

And today am called a bornfree

Because I was born after the apartheid
Because i now have my own rights and can have a say in politics
Because i can attend the same school with others without being judged by the content of my skin color

But i often ask mmyself this question “am i really a bornfree “?
Because i still exprience abuse, xenophobic attacks, neglect, a dreadful disease called HIV/AIDS
BUT YET AM CALLED A BORNFREE

Bars

The life i have been living
The life i have been hoping for
Dreams i have dreamt
Goals i have aimed to achieve
The future i have been planing
All seem to have lost significance as i enter into a new world
A strange kind of world, very different from the ordinary world
A world of high walls and fences
A world of surveillance
A world of chains and locks
A world were boys have to man-up
Girls become woman
A world which has now become my home
A home for change, introspection and remorse
A home for people like me
People who have wronged against the law
It all happened so Fast
It was never planned
A night out with friends, few drinks and i ended up with a sentence

Today i stand behind this bars barring me from all my heart’s desires with the hope of becoming a better man

Chain of Change – Inspired by Madiba

You made a change
Which made a world change
Which made me change
I hope to be the change
That can create change in others
So that your chain of change
Can be sustained.

5 o’clock Torture

I’m on that 9 to 5 grind,
Naturally I am exhausted
But it has to happen, every afternoon.

The tap on my  window or the whistle from a few meters away.
That street vendor though, he catches you every day.
Is it  a hand made steel giraffe, a springbok jersey or a box of mangoes?
I don’t care, I’ll just ignore him until he goes.

There’s the occasional day that he just get’s on my nerves,
So i roll down my window, and throw words that’ll just kick him to the curb.
“Can’t you see that I’m exhausted, I’ve worked all day
What have you done, besides laze away?
It’s 5 o’clock and I’ve been up so early,
I fake a happy mood and I work so eagerly!
I focus, I strive, I have passion in my eyes!
So at 5 o’clock all I ask for, is that quiet, alone, home time prize
Bother someone else, why do you always target me?
Or better yet get a real job, then… you will see!”

I throw rants with my chest puffed and my nose up and I make him feel so small.
I don’t feel bad, I’ve worked hard today, I shouldn’t feel bad at all

Eventually one day,
that street vendor,
he cut me off,
mid banter!
He asked if I had seen him this morning on my way to work.
I replied, “YES! as usual you tapped on the window of my merc.”
So you see sir, he said, I am sure that you would’ve easily managed standing in the sun all day,
being shut down, ignored and constantly told to go away.
I don’t mean to complain, I don’t mean to be rude,
but while you’re on your way home, I’m still forcing that happy mood.
So with all due respect to that hard work that you do
It’s 5 o’clock for me too!

Of all the things that God could send

Of all the things that God could send.
What would be your perfect request?
What would make all life’s troubles worth it in the end?

I know what I’d ask for,
I’d ask for stability and contentment,
for prosperity and perfection!

I’d sit on my knees look up to the sky
and weep with regret for my mistakes 
and I’d ask God for forgiveness and protection!

It’s funny how God and I we can sit and talk.
This would seem like a one way conversation, 
but this friends, is the power of meditation.

I close my eyes and enter a serene state. 
When I am angry, I request that he removes all this hate.

When sadness is upon me
I beg for him to allow gladness to adorn me.

I’m a little disloyal though.
In a state of happiness 
or in a moment of success.
I sometimes forget to tell God
Because I often forget to talk to him when I am at my best.

But on the rare occasion that I do remember to be thankful.
He awards me with so much warmth and and extends my happiness to the epitome of joyful!

So of all the things that God could send
There’d be none better than a friend
a friend who could make me smile
and feel comforted too.
I sit on my knees and fold my hands, 
I look up to God and say.
“In other words, a friend like you!”

DREAM STORY

Have I forgotten the mirrored face I saw before?
Face that a lady once said to me awe
The birth had to be the hardest my thoughts tell
This turmoil and storms
This lighting and that wind, has all been this cycle in this life? Earthed
We never did what was needed to be done
It must have been a myth
Dreams scattered all round
Scattered all round dreams
All round scattered dreams
Round all scattered dreams
What madness he looked beyond the dream
The spirit of ancient wisdom was at once cast aside
Put down from the table were the light of the candle kept shinning
Away from the lamp that was over flowing with oil
Hidden under the carpet only to be trampled upon
Put deep in dungeons of dark places
Chained not to be set free, forced to conditions of inhuman
Tortured beyond hate, spitted on them faces, insulted by words of fury
Some succumbed to the pain and golden is where they lay, as said this is an ancient story
Today as seen some still have those scars and yet they shine so bright
Then look at their tortures, empty, miserable, sad, angry, and pitiful, colourless, dull, grey, sparkles
As said this is an ancient story.
The sad part in this tale, they thought they could kill the dream, yet they forgot they had their own dreams and yet those who believed in their dreams and held unto them through bad and good are still dreaming, notice the difference, their eyes are wide open, dreams

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

FOREVER

The pleasant things you would have said, that really mattered….. Was not the………
Now that you see, what really love really meant….. How it really made you free
The fool you see…… is this……the same that made you smile
The one t who sometimes made you cry
Prepared to let you go………………for your sake
Happy those moments you’ll recall………just in a glance you will realise
Remember, deep in the sea…………in a storm……………….in a small wooden boat….the sea was rough, but me and you were so tough..
That the mighty waves were so surprised by us………that they open up and calm down to make way for us
Lighting showed us our way
That moment is when we knew we were partners and best friends
There was no fear, only fun …
Fun

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

I…

I dream
I dream I will awake from this lazy slumber
This dormant volcanic depository of ideas
Spewing ash and sulphur and threating to erupt
Yet in the end it is just a rumble that refuels my fears

I scream
I scream for I yearn to extract this gold mine of words
Excavate and refine them into riches and accessories
Share them wear them with pride of kings and queens
But I remain poor as they disappear like distant memories

I might
Yes I might just explode like a ticking time bomb time elapsed
Disintegrate into million pieces of creative liberty
Destroy the chains abound this mind of mine
Lo I am still just ticking, ticking endlessly

I write
I write my soul to let loose
Ideas to release out of solitary confinement
To roam free like birds of a feather together
Alas I remain a prisoner of my creative consignment

I cry
I cry for I am trapped in a bottomless pit
A hole filled with tears of concepts conceived and aborted
Once a river of joy and creative bliss
Now overflowing with foetuses unborn ideas unreported

I sigh
I sigh a relief of dejection and despair
A realisation of a crossroad between triumph and defeat
That thin line between fantasy and reality
Then to the latter I quietly retreat

Then I hear
I hear a voice speak softly to me
Then I fear
I fear for it is the voice of my soul begging to be set free
Set free to write
Set free to spread my creative wings and take flight

Wisdom toothache

this is your workstation,
prison, cubicle. This is where you die.
your soul keeps the steel spinning
crimson keeps on spilling
creatures keep on feeding

keep on living on pills, waiting at tills
to feed your insatiable habits
like a, halibut, habitually hopping on to the next fad
The black on your nail’s cuticle
just postponing your nation’s funeral.

I’m Herod.
Just kidding, it’s Harold
Relax, it’s only your first day

A PLACE

In my heart most vulnerable
Where in my mind do I realise
So true to be myself
In this sorrowful, scornful and eventful path
Where many men trade love for hate, truth for lies
Happiness for anger and one another for nothing
In land not ours, treasures not ours and life not ours
Do I see proud faces, when death comes treasures remain, where our pride looks will pride no more
Where what you said was yours will be measured
Where not even the greatest liar flatters with words nor say anything boastful and deceitful
Where we will be rewarded for his ways

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO