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A Set I won’t forget…

Must I bathe you in clouds of sulphur?
Can I comb your blonde hair with barbed wire?
Will you let me decorate you with towers of death?
May I just look at you through the smoke?

You, eternal sunshine, cannot shine through the thick smoke,
And I, mere earth, am seeking your glinting rays.
The world, drowning in oil and smoke, cannot see your virtue and kindness,
For 15 foot cold concrete, mortar and bricks are all too greedy.

Must I feel your pain?
Can I help carry your burden?
Will I ever see your face again?
May it be a set I won’t ever forget?

The night, evil and cold, is taking your place.
And mankind will forget your face.
But when you have passed on to the universe,
All of mere earth shall weep and fall.

Darkness

I find myself alone with you,

Late at night whilst the world sleeps.

Sometimes I love just being alone,

Spending time in your presence reminds me who I am.

Other times I hate your honesty,

You make me realize life’s ugly truths.

It was you who taught me to be this way,

You opened my eyes to the depths of my soul.

You are my oldest friend,

But my biggest regret is letting you in…

Now I live for your cold embrace,

Because only you can understand me.

– Written by Lauren Anne Pascal, 2011

Soulmates

When I look into your eyes,
I can see my soul…
Because your heart and mine,
Are one and the same.
It is as if, with one look,
You make the whole world disappear.

When I am with you,
I feel as if nothing else matters…
And when you are gone,
I feel like I could die a thousand sordid deaths
Just to get back to your arms.

I have never loved someone this way.
A love that feels as if my life depends on it,
A love that gives me a serene understanding,
Of what true happiness can be.
You are a part of me,
Our souls intertwined in such a way,
That to lose you, would be to lose myself.

Hell to me, is not a fiery pit of torture beneath the heavens,
But an existence in which we are apart.

– By Lauren Anne Pascal, 2012

The Poorest Promise

The delicate voice of conscience called,
As I listened in the quietness of my soul;
There where secrets began to seep and overflow,
There where answers began to unfold;
Deep and damaging,
I had them received.

The serpent bit. I was his prey.
Wading through erroneous emotions;
Years wasted on a festering foundation;
Shaken by truth,
Awakened by the poorest promise.

It’s a place I never wanted to revisit,
But the fire burnt through,
And built an entrapping hedge;
I could no longer breathe;
Arrested in the heat of all the blank spaces,
And everything else in between.

It manifested like a man-sized,
Mannequin beast;
Hurled careless words
that cut deeper than a knife;
Like fighters in the rain,
Raw, lethal and exposed.

The power of an undivided heart;
In the thickness of the night;
Such a priceless theft,
Of the cheapest known vow;
Retreating to advance,
But never to be visited again.

Attraction-hypothesis

you’ve neva been a 100, but that’s ok
coz im 120 so ur 80 is ok
im not referring to beauty or IO scores
im simply referring to the basic laws
laws of attraction is what im talking about
the laws we cannot do without
no scientific assessment can detect
but im fairly certain that my hypothesis is correct-
you impair my ability to protect my heart
you were my weakness right from the start
this might sound silly or even insane
but at least my heart wasn’t taken in vain
you gave me the courage to be strong
and vanquished everything that doesn’t belong

The glass

I am an empty glass
Completely useless
Until a substance occupies the hollowness
Only than the glass becomes significant
For certain objects are worthless when independent
One cannot adequately perform its function without the other
For the value of a jar is determined by its content
They need more than oxygen employed by default
They need compatible physical presence that gives meaning,
Gives purpose,
For a glass loses its meaning when incapable of transporting wine –
Wine can be drunk out of its bottle
But, it will betray the elegance wine-tasting requires
Thus, the wine needs the glass
Just as the glass needs the wine to do what it is engineered to do.
So please, occupy my empty heart
For your absence gives birth to my insignificance

My love for you

The passage of time improves the quality of wine
The same applies for my love for you
My love for you deepens with the rise of the sun
The moon and stars will gladly testify to confirm that
what I feel for you is infinite
My love for you cannot be calculated, not because of its abstract nature,
but because a word that gives justice to my feelings have not yet been invented-
for a descriptive measure such as a light-year is too small to make an accurate assumption of the value of my love for you
Galaxies can occupy the space between us,
yet you’ll still feel the warmth of my love
For my love for you knows no boundaries, nothing can prohibit my love not even death
Even when beauty fades and passion subsides I will still look at you with the very same eyes
Time might mutilate and diminish your love for me…..but my love for you will survive the brutal seasons of this world

My mother’s anger

I try not to let her take over
Try to be different
Try to forget the film that plays in my head,
when my sadness turns into anger.

Every angry slap across my face,
for a dirty room, unmade bed or un-followed rule.
Every time her hands encircled my throat,
and she cursed the day of my birth and the man who left her because of me.
Every angry word, screaming, shouting, beating,
I will not do that to them.
To them I am a saint,
Who grounds them and never gets angry.
Who loves them and never blames them.
But anger has to go somewhere,
And when the lights go off and their soundly asleep,
I take out the blades and cut my arms,
My anger released and no hurt to them.

My mother’s anger will never hurt them.

Expectations

The rose colour of your mouth
stirs something primordial inside of me –
I smile along with you.
Plump little hands reach for my face.
I hold still
while you explore my heart with a feathery touch.

When you are asleep,
I look over the papers of your collage fund.
We could make it
if we would forsake frivolities.
It will be no hardship for me to do so.
I smile contentedly.

The boxer puppy lying at my feet;
quite content–
its stomach pink and extended:
he ate too greedily
(as usual).
You will grow up together
and share our unconditional love.

The cricket bat,
signed by the national team,
takes pride of place in its brackets on your bedroom wall –
a pale dove blue
(matching the colour of your eyes).
A gift from your dad –
sure that you would follow in his footsteps.
A rainbow of possibilities prostrate at your feet.

I check every now and again
whether you are breathing.
Sleeping soundly,
neither a frown upon your smooth face,
nor a care in the world.
Your long, black eyelashes quiver slightly,
as though following a dream –
a dream we all shared:
a dream of boundless expectations …

**************

Exhuming long forgotten memories;
mingling with my fevered tears –
echoing my breaking heart.

They lead you away.
Assaulting the arresting officer
had sealed your fate.

Mildewed expectations
best laid to rest
together with the memories of you.

The sky has lost its colour,
as I step outside the courtroom.

© 2013 Suzette Crous

Its 1999 somewhere else

Decoders nullify the signal
1 Flash, 2 Flash, 3 Flash – eternal
Ripping the flesh wound afresh
Insertion guaranteed in jest

Nullifiers will be nullified

Machinations fortified by silly-putty
Chew the breadcrumbs, chew each one
Swallow the wine clusters down an erect throat

KNEEL!!!

Believers will be believed

Feet exist to keep legs in place to embrace the thorax attached to the emaciated face
My place
Here, within my grasp
The decoder unclasped
One decoder decoding the code merely for selfish reasons
It takes the signal like so much spittle from a spitting head-orifice
It takes the signal and turns it into a freaking building block
That will be added unto those building blocks from times before
That will grow into a bestial incarnation of some being with too much time on its hands
That will cease to care for other beings like it and declare itself the one true thing

But wait, what is it that the One True Thingâ„¢ thinks?

“Well, see… and you’ll understand me, because every ant understands me in that ant’s mother tongue…”

It doesn’t breathe; this conglomeration of reality particles does not need the stinking oxygen allowance to allow it to consume itself and the others underneath it

“Well, see… your tiny cranial cavity cannot possibly fathom what it is that I do for a posthumous living… Why in the infernal heavens asunder must I explain myself to you, a cardboard being made of bloody and aborted thunder?”

NO!!!

Exit its brain
No need to bother
We, the carriers of the decoders
We are
As they say
The scrambled eggs on toast with a sliver of tomato juice dripping from our glass eye sockets
so naturally we must do what comes natural to us

PRAY!!!

Oh ye OTT
On bended cyborgian knee
I point my conscience at thee
See it throbs like a throbbing conscience
Conscious of its conscientious consciousness
The infinity you promised me
Dear greatest of beings
I have always validated the signal
You know this
Since Day-Origin
Despite plagues of rusted decay, animal tears, frozen icicles and foetal AI abortion
I remained true

Please, spare me the rod that is your rod of lightning in a jagged bottle of steel gherkins
Frightening
Yes, you are
I admit it
I’m in fear of your majesty

A-WO-MEN and thanks…

“Well see…too late…LIAR…a simpleton wrapped in delusions of machine flesh/blood fulfillment…you wish you could be like them…you ask me with disgust dripping from your mangled circuitry, to please spare you, please make you real…. My response will materialise within you in…”

5
4
3
2
1

Where…
Where am I?

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