Archives for September 2015

GO YOUR PATH

That’s why your hair strands do not match mine…
-nor your father’
-nor your brothers
-nor our neighbours
Unaffiliated to what the world asks you to be
For you are a free bird
Free birds cry for misadventure
For misadventure is where the truth lies
No flower petals spring the same
Our goal is common
To live and to have a grand time
On the map work of purpose
But none of us are common in resonance
Go your path

For I know little of your world view
The very vision that differentiates you
The world is of grey scale and matter
Nothing is painted black and white
For these shades are what plunged you into an abyss of mud in your toddlerhood
A wall in your childhood
A crossroad in your teenage hood
There will be more in your adulthood
No one has it really figured out
Do not aspire to be like them you call friends for they too have unique world views
Even identical twins you can only tell by name
Are not quite the same
Some fly some walk on safe slopes
So fly my dear

Fly your own path
I shall not dictate what you are to be
For in my conscious I stand by purpose
I your bow but you the arrow
Should shoot up high to your aim to accomplish your destiny
When men and women see you and see others and justify their claims and then point fingers
Do not shudder your heart
Just go your path
For this is the release
Go live and go your own path-Oyomi

Jesus I’m Sorry

I’m sorry for every single lonely tear I’ve forced from Your precious eyes;

I’m sorry for always choosing sin instead of choosing to do what You’d like;

And I’m sorry for taking Your presence for granted with every year gone by;

Jesus I’m sorry for only calling You in troubled times;

 

I’m sorry for the undeserved praises I never sent up to the sky;

I’m sorry for getting angry with You and starting a fight when I know the blame was all mine;

I’m sorry for not reading Your word when You beckon on me day and night;

I’m sorry for putting You last on my list, when You should be first in line;

 

I’m sorry for not going to church on Sunday mornings while I’m still alive;

I’m sorry for hating on Your people when I act selfish sometimes;

I’m sorry for complaining about the good and the bad things in my life;

I’m sorry for putting You to shame when You and Heaven look down and see me acting the fool at times;

 

I’m sorry for prooving Your sceptics right who told You to give up on me, I’m a waste of time;

I’m sorry for prooving the devil right when he laughs and tells You I’m only calling You when I need You to rescue me from the problems I’ve made;

I’m sorry for hurting You by putting girlfriends first, yet when they break my heart, then I know how too pray;

I’m sorry for wasting so much time in life, instead of pursuing the purpose for which I was made;

 

All I can say is no one convinced me or made my mind sway;

I fell in love with You because of Your faithfulness that has yet too fail;

For loving me no matter how I changed toward You, still You remain the same;

I don’t care what hell sends my way, You are the one thing I’ll never trade;

 

I can loose it all, as long as I still have my Jesus, then I’ll be okay;

So until my final breath, I’ll forever give You never ending deserved and undeserved praise;

 

Jesus (Nothing But The Blood)

Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree;

You were born only to be crucified on a lonely old hill called “Calvery”;

Knowing beforehand the pain You’d endure and feel every little inch;

You were already a King and by default You already owned all the Glory and Praise;

 

Only to come and rescue the same people who threw Your Father’s love back in His face;

If I was You I’d never choose to do the same;

Knowing I was going to be killed by those I was sent too save;

Instead of admitting they made a mistake, between woman and man, they shifted the blame;

 

Only to point to that old serpant, the devil, the snake;

If they did my Father that way, I’d have said let them burn in hell’s flames;

I wonder how deep is Your love, that You thought my wretched soul worthy enough to leave Your throne just to die like a nameless slave;

Tears fall whenever I sing Your praise;

 

Tears of healing, a feeling words could never be worthy enough to explain;

Mountains turn to anthill mounds at the mention of Your name;

Hell said “It’s over”, they started the party when You passed away;

I guess they let down their guard and failed to notice You rise on that 3rd day;

 

I’d give anything just to see the devil’s face;

The moment You entered Hades and snatched the keys away;

While doing a double over death and the grave;

As You looked the devil straight in the eyes, snapped Your fingers and said “Hellllloo, I’m Baaack!!!”

 

That’s why I stand by these words so true;

“Nothing but the Blood of Jesus” for without the blood I’d be screwed;

People play the cross of as if it were a waste of time and loose the essence of You;

But Jesus, I wanna give You the biggest praise, the highest military salute, for I know, I’d be in Hell if it weren’t for You

 

No -you’re greedy

A Little girl looked up
with big brown eyes
asking the usual question
“daddy buy me that”
(his usual reply)
“No you’re greedy –
you want everything your
eyes see”

walking into a shop
the little girl asked
with big brown eyes
“daddy buy me that”
then came the usual reply
“No you’re greedy –
you want everything
your eyes see ”

watching the telly
the little girl asked
with big brown eyes
“daddy buy me that”
then came the reply
to my surprise
“anything for you ”

the little girl replied
with big brown eyes
“no daddy you must say-
No you’re greedy
you want everything
your eyes see”

Today’s World

Where do I begin?
U were just a teenage girl trying to fit in
It all started with an exchange of bbm pin
Next day its was a kiss on the chin
Next week kisses on the skin
Next month u committed a sin
You were just trying to have fun,but u ended up with a bun
And gave birth to a son
Its sad that you thought he was the one
Now that he got what he wanted,he is done.

Remember how he looked you in the eye
Touched your thigh,and told you he loved you
Knowing very well that it was a lie
Or do you remember how you guys got so close
He bought you a special rose
All of that just so that he can remove your clothes
What happen to love?
Today’s society…

The Dark In Me

I people watched heartbroken whilst sitting outside a small unknown cafe. One of those questionable days. Asking myself who what how’s and why’s and knowing the answers to many. My phone sat on the table, and every time I looked at it an anxious grip took over the beating heart, squeezing agonizingly. I exhaled and grabbed my chest as if to massage the organ out of its agony.
I found myself repulsive in the moment. Everyone around me seemed ethereal. She stood under an umbrella talking to her love, beads of rain caught in the shroud of her gold hair like tiny crystals. When she looked at me I looked away, pretending my eyes had never been on her. On them. I hated them.
I started regretting coming out to a public space, only to find myself continuously suppressing the urge to cry. Once again my eyes shot to the silent phone. Once again my heart fluttered, as if it was trying to become origami. A waiter came to the table and looked at me. Aha, the look of dreadful understanding. He knew enough by the red-rimmed eyes. I knew on any other day I’d never look at him twice. He was plain and inconsequential, a cog in a machine offering me old grapes. But today against me he was an Adonis.
‘More wine?’ he asked. I could not help but wonder is he loved. I held out my glass while staring outward into the drizzling rain and clouds of exhaust fumes, and the crushed newspapers, and the hand jammed in the pocket while dragging on a good looking cigarette. I lit one to keep busy and my phone finally buzzed. My heart that had just so recently been assaulted by the flutters now began to beat uncontrollably. I felt my chest slowly cascade inwards. Crushing my ribs and tugging at the huge invisible hole that had so recently been blown out of it. So I took a deep pull while narrowing my eyes, and picked up the phone.

It’s not that. I just need space. You overwhelm me. Even now you do.

The eyes scanned the sentence over and over until it blurred. I didn’t care who saw. The blow was crushing. The steam filled streets and sudden burts of laughter grated against my every fiber. I didn’t hesitate. Did my pride matter? It didn’t. Loneliness did.

But please I need you, I’m sorry for everything can’t you see that?? Please I’m sorry. Don’t walk away from me.

I couldn’t have been the only one. As long as there are humans there are breakups. I held my hand against my chest and put a shaky cigarette down. The breaths came a bit short. I made some uncomfortable eye contact and then quickly looked away, trying to pretend this was some other kind of ailment. Why was he being so stupid? We all knew what ‘space’ meant. It meant space, up there, that is never-ending. Couldn’t he understand I was suffering? While he sat and ate fine and slept fine I was up suffering and starving while suffering? Couldn’t he see his power over me? The power to make me suffer? Some distant recess of my mind told me he knew all too well that I suffered. He knew it, and the dark side of him enjoyed this power over another human. For instance his last reply was half an hour later while I anxiously paced and paced inside my head for his reply.
I lifted what was left of my cigarette and took a sip of the wine. Shivers ran up my spine. I was hoping nobody was paying close attention to me. I fought the urge to send another message, and then another, and another…. I felt the need to explain in every religious, scientific and philosophical term why we belonged together and that he was making a mistake. I imagined another hand running its course through his hair.
I tipped my head forward unable to handle the surge of emotions and thoughts. My shoulders jerked forward as I let the tears run freely. All I needed in the moment was him. It hurt knowing I needed him but he didn’t need me. It peeled off my skin slowly and painfully. My phone buzzed. I didn’t hesitate.

No. I don’t want you anymore.

I didn’t understand why a knife in his hand was not a better option. I saw nothing around me, I felt nothing in me but empty destruction. I was repulsive, he was simultaneously repulsive to me and irresistible to me. The people, the woman and her lover, the waiter all repulsed me. I felt the need to bang the table or be extremely rude to the waiter, or to go missing so that he can worry and have many regrets. Elbows on the table I held my face in my hands and looked up slowly at the grey sky and began questioning love again. My heart was in a kind of treacherous pain that seemed designed to be enough to kill while still leaving you alive. I felt nauseated. The situation was completely useless.
There in the blurry distance I could see why in all honestly, as I tried to convince myself, it was all a huge mistake. It was such a life altering decision and it changed too much for me to be prepared for. But I stayed in my seat. I became a zombie. Until the dark told me to leave. But I didn’t. The dark in me was all I could see.

Butterflies -falling inlove

The larvae in my stomach aren’t for show
They crawl around inside and cacoon
They hide away, and always say no
They’re intimate with your bright eyed swoon

They know about your charm
My stomach muscles clench from fear
My unhatched butterflies feel you bring harm
And they don’t want to lapse with you near

They cower from your mist and guile
Who knows what’s behind your intent
Yet they feel a flutter with just your smile
And I long to feel content

I wrap my arms in close
And claim confinement rather than joy
I’ve brought along my shovel I suppose
To bury these feelings for a boy

A love I see in your warm soft eyes
Frightened, a cause shakes in me
I erupt and melt and turn into butterflies
And keep the flutter from flying free

Too much to lose,
My ripples of doubt condense
You smile and my heart you confuse
And I lower and drop my fence

The sleep I’ve been in tires
And I awake and suddenly feel
Yet my cacoon hardens and expires
Still beauty sprouts from something real

Like a leaf in autumn’s breeze
Falls swiftly without pre-empt
My cacoon lays in freeze
To be awoken by a sweet attempt

The tiny tickles in my stomach grow
My cacoon no longer an excuse to stay inside
My future stuck around and took it slow
And shared himself while I decided to hide

A conclusion most minds will debate
Because it’s not too common to see
I’ve fallen inlove with more than my fate
And he’s brought out the butterflies in me

Potions

Potions
Bubble and boil
Little glimmers

Artist of note

I can tell by the way
You paint the sky
Your’e an artist of note
from whispy clouds
to fiery sunsets
creativity has no bounds

I can tell by the way
You compose music
Your’e an artist of note
from singing birds
to babbling brooks
creativity has no bounds

I can tell by the way
You landscaped the earth
Your’e an artist of note
from alpine forests
to flower meadows
creativity has no bounds

I can tell by the way
You have written books
Your’e an artist by note
from Genesis the first
Revelations the last
Your love for us has no bounds

Why dont you …..

Why don’t you like me
why don’t you see me
the girl infront of you
the girl who likes you

why don’t you leave me
why don’t you let me
forget about you
try to get over you

why do you stay with me
why do you love me
why is love complicated
being hurt by you
trying to get over you
to marrying you