Archives for October 20, 2015

THE POOL

One day as I was sitting and looking into an empty pool, inside it was a pair of black water boots, two rubbish plastics bags, a broom with beautiful red and black colour in the middle of the brush and water gloves with an ugly red colour.
The wall of the pool from the deep end was as high as a wall of an ordinary house, at the other end was the swallow end at the deep end the stairs were of a house, but they were kind of strange they did not start from the bottom, in other words the stairs were leading into the pool and not outside
The floor of the pool was like the sky, blue and white, the paint was tearing off, but this resembles of the sky looked ugly because there were black lines drawn across the sky, I felt like the pool, I compared my life to this pool and the lives of those around me.
The black in the pool represented darkness to me a place of death where no one was safe and the ugly red colour of the gloves seemed like blood of older people who had perished before and the beautiful red of the broom symbolised all those younger ones that lost their life to this pool
It all started to make sense to me, life was like this pool, we all started at the swallow end of the pool where it was safe, the deep end of the pool is inviting here is where the deep trouble is and everyone wants to get into deep trouble.
Children are also there beautiful people, rich people and poor and broken people everyone is swimming. Those in the swallow end don’t want to be at the swallow end no more, they also want to get into the deep end; the pool is really a pull
Those in the deep end will make fun of you, mocking you to join them in this deadly path they find themselves in, some will give in and follow the deep end, but a few will remain and stand their ground firm, wise souls indeed.
Those who follow will die young or old and some unlucky will perish on their first attempt, how many drowned I wondered?
The black boots were in the empty pool for a reason, all those who had drowned were maybe wearing them, the struggle to go up and the water entering the boots and keeping them down, how terrible even my soul mate went to the deep end and left me all alone where we were safe and content. Even where it is safe it is not when you are all alone, all your enemies attack you from every direction, you may be stay strong for a while, then like a lady named hope, you become the little girl named hopeless, the wounds all over your body makes you weak, the tears rolling down your cheeks and asking no one but yourself and say why me?.. Why me?
You gave in what other people said to you, you weak, ugly, useless, boring and so on, I gave in and went to join the deep end. It was good it was really great at first I thought to myself, but that was only for a short while, I was in and I couldn’t get out, it was a struggle to get out of this deep end. The people walking around you and you want to be with them were it is safe, but is a battle against those who are keeping you down and deeper in the pool and drowning you, laughing at you the very same people who told you it was fun in the deep end.
When I have nearly given up, I looked around and I saw a stretch hand, but was too weak to reach and grab it… This hand never grew tired of stretching, every time I looked around it was still there, this stretched hand gave me power and a little voice said you can do it. With all the power left inside of me, I stretched my hand and got hold of a finger, but He held on my hands and brought me closer to him, he held me with both hands and pulled me out of the pool of misery and sorrows
He embraced me and I started to feel safe again. He asked me what my name was, I told him and He was no stranger I felt like I knew him from the day before I saw light.
I felt strong and not weak like many told me before. He told me to look around and I looked, nothing was useless, plants were growing, babies crying, people laughing and hugging each other, birds are singing and a cool breeze brushing against my face I cried and smiled at the same time. I said to myself I ;am whatever I want to be, I was my best friend and I became my worst enemy, but now I’m where I belong it feels good to be with the people you love and who equally loves you back and finding our ways was not easy thing to do. I thanks Him for not giving up on me and I thank her for never stop loving me, but most importantly I give my gratitude for teaching me this wordless song.
We have learned a lesson not, but the beauty inside of us and say pain is nothing, fear is crippling , but a smile a genuine smile is everything and us we were made simple but complicated is what we are now

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

Rose petals

ROSE PEDALS

No one will ever be able to understand a love affair like mine, this love tramples over every kind, even though you will never understand this love, it was the only love that we grew accustomed to. But wait it was beautiful…you see broken homes and gunshot wounds in the reflection of every tear. Cries that sounded like sopranos along side playing a violin with missing strings and a tree branch, I can still hear the choir performed by all those who got left behind, feel the bass of those who ran through dead, hear the symphonies cause by the sounds of shattered memories.

Shhh…listen…
If you are really quiet you can still hear the treble clef of a tired woman who won’t stop walking while holding her only living child. It was the best orchestra ever heard, our home being beaten to the muses that sang in the wind.

This love gave crimson rose pedals that flowed from their flesh, bullets that would kiss our skin, while churches are being burned to the ground, call that starting a new flame.- its clear that we made Valentine’s day seem mediocre-
It was sad how it became a thing of you have to hide!
To ensure any of your rights!
Don’t waste your time saving souls or being kind!
You have to eventually pick a side!
When desperation kicks in there is no time!
Then you are paralysed to decide!
Who Lives stay or get left behind!
I guess I now understand why it was called a genocide!

People spread out surrounding home.

Rwanda…

We were boarding a country once called home, call us the human fences.
Sense of security was crippled by the broken limbs of society. We were praying for a land the world might have never known existed. Our oxygen became so stale we began to question our creator and his purpose.
Disappointment stitched our lips shut while and circumstance tied our knees to the ground.
Can’t you feel this love, people loved a land so much that they believed that they should be the only ones to claim it.
Yes a selfish kind of love. This was the aftermath of love. A love that nailed death to your chest.
Dear world we are are sorry, I apologize for wasting your time by obligating you to help us, we didn’t mean to be heard everyday. Invisibility out grew our bodies, and we could no longer fit in out own silence.

We lived in mother Africa’s womb and she decided to have an abortion to get rid of a country that is small enough to fit in the palm of your hand.
We have tears strapped to our shoulders, bruises on our knees and blood from battered feet.
God lost the ultimate tug of war to Satan.
Torn by war.
Worn by being torn.
War torn.
They loved us in all the wrong ways.

Flow Masengesho.