He invited me on a Wednesday afternoon,

To his house.

He invited me that Wednesday afternoon,

To his room.

He invited me very leisurely,

To sit on his bed;

He invited me very tenderly,

To kiss his mouth,

                      WE HEAR NOISES FROM DOWNSTAIRS.

He invited me very grudgingly,

To say hi to his mom,

She revealed that he’d made his bed because of me,

She thanked me.

A FEW MOMENTS LATER,

WE HEAR HER LEAVE THE HOUSE.

THE BEDROOM DOOR CLOSES ONCE MORE.

He invited me to lay on his labour, where our mouths merged;

The dictators of our speech were

Harmonizing yet battling, licking yet triumphing.

I spontaneously took off my shirt, my bra, my belt, my jeans;

With a tiny, triangle patch left to guard my virtue,

He invited me to unbutton his button down and unzip his jeans.

That Wednesday afternoon,

I saw things, he saw things, we felt things, but then

We stopped things, before they went any further.

 We hadn’t even expected ourselves to go

As far as we did that Wednesday afternoon.

Although, shortly after, when I was about to go home,

 He pecked my lips with promise.

Days of old have since been cold and gone,

drenched in sin and misery,  the stench of death lingers.

Untold yet gruesome pain defines yet again my discomfort.

Arid compassion, chilled by lust and still this tormentors

fiery feeling torments my restless soul ever the more,

for i hath been loosed and lay lost in this dreaded world.

This world has yielded nothing more but a darkest forger.

As to a damsel that loseth her innocence till such vial erodes her sentiment,

but in careful ponder i fright to bid tis foul upon mine desire.

Corrupted i hath let minself grow or yet still retard,

for to all born to this world, all manner of 10 forms of sin doth choseth us all.

A pity then that we chose which sins to succumb to.

Hath ye heard not of mercy,  nor hath not grace been preached and left on a stead

upon the pinnacle of the highest mountain for all to take heed?

yet we see it not for we most are indeed lost.

For a time, times and half a time,

this tiresome world hath and still shalt crave mercy

but a double measure of justice shalt be willed unto it.

For the Creator is not hush but just to those who set sight upon his grace

and trample such under foot for surely such latent fools are indeed lost,

yet be they worthy deserving of grace,

we hath fallen a stone’s throw short of hope and without such, all we are lost.

Maybe I should have made more time for you than I did;

Maybe I should have tried instead of wanting to up and quit;

Things I can’t change are the most expensive assets,only thing my large bank balance can’t afford to buy;

If it could I’d rewind time to that very first day and love you right;

Perhaps you should have been my priority and not my heart’s crutch;

Maybe I should have shown you I love you so damn much;

Maybe I should have said I was damaged goods way before we met;

I hid the truth, my plan was loving you but I ended up hurting you instead;

Nights without you have gone from days to years and you’re that one girl my heart refuses to forget;

As I lay to sleep, mistakes I made replay over and over in my regretful head;

What hurts is I did so much to hurt you that a 360 degree turn is an impossible goal to achieve;

I have everything I want, but not the one thing I really need;

I’ve always wondered how could you be depressed as a celebrity;

Now I understand, some things can’t be bought by any amount of money;

Priceless moments that I took for granted when it was free;

Perfect love I earned at no cost but I was too blind too see;

I was searching for an angel when she was always next too me;

What does is benefit a man to become a King if he hasn’t got a Queen;

Then he is just a powerful man with a crown for everyone too see;

It took a while to wake up girl but now these things are so obvious to me;

I know you’re gone for good and we will never be;

You found a new man and evicted me from your heart’s space;

You were the reason for that crooked smile on my face;

Now I find it hard just to make it through each day;

I want to call you up like so many times before;

But you told me to stop it cause you’ve closed the door;

I’m trying to be the man you’ve always wished for;

Respecting your wishes even if it hurts me to my core;

Karma made me pay for crimes against your innocent heart;

I paid the ultimate cost for our past;

Sometimes I wonder if Karma forgot to stop cause it’s f*cking hard;

Making me remember days with you, making me want to go back knowing that I can’t

Having a palace and the world at my feet;

It’s every man’s dream you’d think;

But without you this don’t mean a thing;

I’d rather have you back and have nothing;

I know I could work and get back everything;

But how do I get you back knowing I’m the reason for you leaving;

I’ve striven all my life trying to get where I am, hurting you while trying to achieve;

Now that I have it all, I see you were all I ever needed to make me happy

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That old lonesome feeling takes my heart by surprise;

Whenever I open up my eyes;

I have grown afraid to sleep, so I tend to stay up late most nights;

This sudden change has my Mamma concerned, she keeps wondering why;

But how do I explain something I find hard to understand;

That I’ve got the heart of a little lost boy within the body of a grown man;

Sometimes it frustrates me but what can I do;

It hurts but I have no choice but to push on through;

Perhaps I missed something and my name is still on Karma’s list to do;

I’ve told her I’m sorry, I tried to explain why, she slammed the phone down in my ear, so what’s the use;

I’ve called heavens hot line and never seem to get through;

When I ask others for advice on what to do;

They all say to move on and find someone new;

As if I never thought of that, as if I never knew;

There’s nothing I haven’t tried, I’d rip out my heart if I could;

I don’t enjoy missing someone who no longer feels the same;

I don’t want to cry about someone who’s mind I never cross of late;

That has forgotten the things that still haunt my heart like a ghost night and day;

It’s simple to say move on, but doing it isn’t as easy as they claim;

They said Jesus is the answer, I took the step and now I’m saved;

The same problems remain, I’m just considered a tainted saint;

Living in a sinful life but covered by grace;

As if I took out an insurance policy as a slave;

I’m not saying getting saved was a mistake;

I’m saying my intentions were wrong so the result was the same;

If I gave my all to God but not my heart, how could I expect a change?;

I’m not trying to bring down the tone of love in anyway;

I’m just being real, this is how I live in my every day;

Behind a painted smile on a tear stained face;

Only those who know me well can see my pain;

The rest think I’m living the dream life, wishing they could exchange;

Their lives with mine, if only they knew, they’d think it over again;

Love wasn’t the problem, I made the mistakes;

If I had made them knowing the consequences I’d be okay;

But I never had a clue on what the cost of lost love would be one day;

Until it hit me when she walked away;

Lord tell me can’t I go back to times gone by;

See I miss my days as a child;

I was always told to enjoy them but nobody ever told me why;

So I just wished to be a man in this place called life;

I’ve been a man for quite a while;

It’s harder than I ever thought and it snatched away my smile;

Daily it leaves tears in my eyes;

And serves as a reminder of how I miss my days as an innocent child;

Lord tell me is there no way for me to turn back the hands of time;

I don’t want to be this man I always wanted to be anymore;

I’m wiser now, can you take me back to times before;

That I took for granted, Lord I didn’t have a clue, I didn’t know;

That life would snatch the life from my soul;

Why can’t we be born and live life as an adult and end up as a child;

Why did I take for granted the best times;

Now I wish to relive them again with a renewed mind;

How I’d do things so much different if I had the chance;

I’d never even break a single heart;

I’d make count every day as if it were my last;

Lord tell me is there no way You can send me back;

I’d trade what I have right now for a second chance;

I’m in the present but my heart misses the past;

Lord tell me why I can’t go back;

I wish I never wished to be a grown up man