At the End

WHEN THE SOUNDS NO LONGER REACH MY EARS,
WHEN MY SKIN CAN LONGER RESPOND TO THE UV RAYS,
WHEN MY LUNGS CEASE TO EXPAND.

WHEN MY HAIR BECOMES DREADFULLY DRY,
WITH MY HEART BEATING AT A SLOWER RATE,
AND THATS WHEN MY PUPIL NO LONGER RESPONDS TO LIGHT.

WILL I HEAR A LOUD VOICE LAUGHING FROM FAR,
ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT I WAS IN CONTROL,
THE WORLD SIMINGLY REVOLVED AROUND MY CLOCK,
UNTILL THIS VERY MOMENT.

IM ASKED JUST HOW LONG DID I THINK IT WOULD LAST?
IM ASKED WHY I TOOK FOR GRANTED ALL THE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE,
WHY I UNGRATEFULLY LIVED FROM ONE MOMENT TO ANOTHER?

I GUESS I FORGOT THAT IT WAS ALL MERCY,
TOOK IT FOR GRANTED,
I THOUGHT I DESERVED IT ALL,
FORGOT THAT IT WAS FAVOUR.

MASTER I REPENT,
PLEASE LET ME SEE THE MOON JUST ONCE MORE,
ALLOW ME TO TOUCH MY SKIN AND BE THANKFULL,
LET ME APPRECIATE THE RARE TASTE OF YOUR WATERS,
AND RESPECT THE GROUNDS THAT NOURISHED MY FLESH.

“THE DOORS OF LIFE HAVE CEASED TO EXIST”
“YOU HAVE MET YOUR END”.

WOMAN, ME

Perhaps it’s time to take a step back,
Visualise myself standing on a hill with fresh breeze waving against my skin,
Let my imaginative eye look down memory lane,
Then let flash backs of my young life flow.

From the little girl with a vivid imagination,
Dreams to reach for the stars,
Ambitions that pulsate on her veins.

Right up to the moments I lost my innocents,
Brought life into this universe,
My daughter whom my heart cannot do without.

Let me acknowledge the eighteen hour day,
Eighteen hours of hard labour,
All because I have a womb,
All because I have a heart.

Moments came,
They put a smile on my face,
They wore me out,
They challenged me,
Burdened my soul,
Yet my wisdom kept my shoulders from falling.

I cry because I’m human,
I fight because I cannot run forever,
I smile because I need to,
I dream because I’m worth better,
I live because my maker’s desires pends fulfillment,
I’m me
And then a woman.

if my heart could speak

If my heart could speak
It would whisper your name,
And it will resonate throughout my body.
It would sing the joy you’ve brought me.
The sorrows of my echoed past.
The fear of this new ocean feelings.

Oh if my heart could speak
It will speak the divine language of your heart.
As our souls meet and intertwine, it will only speak your name.
It will keep you close with its coarse tongue and naïve eyes

Yes my heart speaks to u.
It calls your name and you answer.
Its rhythmic dance that can only be mirrored by your heart.
So listen closely, hear your name…

For my heart longs to be heard

Word Play

When God created us I think he was bored and wanted playmates.
God no Heff but God know Heff.

He wanted to see who’d play along.
He wanted to see who’d play the Hero, who’d play the fool.
Who’d be a playa- player and chill with players only.

He wanted to see who’d play God, who’d play the villain and try outplay the G.
He wanted to see who was great enough to survive this grimy play ground.
Who’d be the Queen or King on it.
Who’d get bullied or have their hearts played with.

He gave us stage for us to have our house plays.
Gave us the notion of love then we started to play play-play.
played happy families where mom said to “never play the ball in the house” but who gave her the platform to play boss

So he gave us earth and the ball was now in play.
God have messi on this playstation because we didn’t nintend for foul play.
sadly we humans didn’t play fair so we lost our playwright.

We played a weak hand and wasted our playtime.
Now we play along and play possum.
Continue to play our parts, as life plays a silly joke on us.
We played with fire and forgot to pray with god.

Pause!
Play, a rebel with a cause.

Why why

What is why, why is why asked or pondered.
Why why?
Perhaps its not the answer that matters but instead its that there is an answer.
Perhaps its not the unknown that scares us but the fact that there is an unknown.
Maybe we ask the question for the answer not to know why but instead to know that there is an answer.

So then why.
What compels us to need to know that there is a known.
Curiosity?
Instinct? Couldn’t be instinct.
Fear.

I know fear is what drove me to be the person I am.
So am I just a product of predictable emotion?
A being that has been designed not by life experiences but the fear of them?
Probably.

I crave sense but am driven to find that which does not make sense.
I want order but am constantly creating ways to disturb it.
I am a creature of contradictions. A living breathing thing that dos not live but instead questions why.

Why ask why?
Why why?
Perhaps its not the answer that matters but instead its that there is an answer.

What i wish to be

i wish to be a whore of horror and gore
where no priest or saint can save me
my legs apart, i’m aching to start
im naked and waiting.

I would reek of cum in the dining halls
my tits always on display
at a glance you would feel repelled
and in disgust you would look away.

my sheets will be soiled with semen and shit
my skin blistered and sore
but nothing will compare to the open scabs
lining the frame of my door.

there is no lock so any swinging cock is able to come in
have his way
jiz and pray
that he doesnt catch anything

but pray in vane you will my boy
i will not leave you without a sore
my cunt enjoys this game you see
and looks forward to more..

Battle wounds

Smeared across the floor
Light flowing from the open door
I can almost feel it
Im not quite sure If I need it

My limbs broken and sore
My mind blistered to the core
I wonder how this came to be
Its unfortunate I cannot see

I do not wail
I do not morn
I break my silence with a sighful yawn

I can feel the air around my face
I can smell the damp of this place
I feel my skin has been battered and torn
I cannot help wonder why I was born

Uncultivated seed

Restless minds, fertile bodies.
Blend together in g mesh of flesh.
Sweat drips from him to her.
Creating a wet pool of lust which soon turns to regret.
Desire lasting all of five minutes leaves imbedded in her a seed of hope.
But things created by foolish people through thoughtless acts have no chance of survival.
They are sure to be ripped mercilessly from their roots,
and thrown into trash cans.
Where they lay amongst yesterdays rubbish and remnents of human filth.
A beautiful seed dead, cold, unloved, unwanted and alone.
Unrecognisable in it’s filth covered plastic bag.
All it needed was love to grow, faith to perservere and a body deserving of it.

Where were you when I needed you?

Where were you when I needed you?
When confusion was all I saw as a little child
When our family was being torn apart
When life gave me no reason to smile…
Where were you when I needed you to tell me everything’s going to be alright?
Where were you when I needed you to take away my lonely nights?

As a kid there was times I needed a hand to hold
When darkness filled my mind
When darkness was all time sold and my head was filled with lies
I appreciate the toys and money you gave but that couldn’t bring a smile.
You called me useless, stupid and all sorts of names
I’m so sorry that I was made your child
Im sorry that i disappointed you again!
But where you when i needed you, to help me through the rain?

I needed someone to help me with my school work
But yet again alone I tried and tried.
Embarrassed because I couldn’t read in grade three
The joke of the class again I was but the reason they just couldn’t see!
Head filled with lie’s, lie’s was all I could tell
I did not want them to know what I’m going through
Showing how you felt was not so ‘cool’’.

Where were you when I needed you to hear my hearts deepest cry?
You weren’t there when I needed you ?
Now you know why I died inside!

One of Us

You lied
I know you did
Through your eyes
I saw your tears
You tried to hide
I know you did
Behind your smile
I heard your fears

And you died
I know you did
But your pride
Said it was me
So you could feel
You’re better than me

There is a cure
I know there is
For the shame
You project on me
Don’t you know
What’s you is me?

I set you free,
I know I did
Forgiving you
Healing me
I know the truth
You know I do…

That what’s in you…
is in me too!

~Verushka2011~