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Archives for October 2015

Life

One word, One Life, One Vision.

For me life is a puzzle that takes an existance
to figure out the messed up pieces.
I wish I could have done this differently, done
that better, worked on that greater or Loved
that girl stronger.

Life is more like a car,when you start it you
know you’re going somewhere, but you gotta
know the road ain’t easy.

My life is like a book, chapters on a loose, lost
pages on the floor, ended up hooked to this
and that and before I knew it, I was writing
one bestseller book, Lovely.

In spite of the fact that men don’t live by
bread alone but by the word, only the word of
God.
He said men shall eat by the sweat of their
face.

Life, Life, I feel like grabbing a knife and
sculpture it my way.
We live in a way too moralless era, Manners
aren’t manners, Right isn’t right, where
shocking looks pretty.

I mean, Life must be adventureous, God
Devotional, Breath taking, Amazing, Risk
Taking, Entrepreneurial.
Men are careless and incogitent said J
Goodman.
Everything under the sun wither, either shiny
or blemish.

Life reminds me of the wind that I feel, I
know I’m alive when breathing it but I still
can’t see it even though Men made great
things out of it, Pathetic.
I want to be on top of the world, I’m on my
way.

My enemies want to take me down, I’ve been
caught on my crime scene but I found my Alibi
in my God who stands on my side, My hope of
Glory.

I don’t care anymore whatsoever worksheets
Life will put on my desk, I will man up and
work it out.

This is Life.

Happy Birthday Angel Of Mine (20.09.90)

Girl you’ve been gone for quite a while;

It’s your birthday again in 2 days time;

A day where my face shares it’s space with tears and a smile;

Me missing you is no longer your concern but mine, girl this I already know;

 

I’ll still do what I’ve done every year since since my soul watched you finally up and go;

And every birthday since I’ve celebrated you all on my own;

With a cake,a single candle and a 5th full of Henessy with those songs we used to sing in those days of old;

I still cry every 20th of September and I probably still will long after I’ve grown old;

 

And even though we no longer talk, you get angry whenever we do;

Everything I say seems to frustrate you;

I no longer try like I used too;

You asked me to leave you be, for once I ain’t thinking about me but what’s important to you;

 

In 2 days time I’ll blow out that single candle and send that same old wish deep into the night sky;

That you might have a change of heart and mind;

And maybe by chance you’d return to me before I die;

That’s all I really need in my present life;

 

This love for you will never ever die;

Like a desert rose, against all odds it’s managed to outgrow and survive;

This love was born in heaven and within my broken heart it will reside;

Happy birthday angel of mine, I’ll always love you even beyond the sands of time

i dream BIG

When a man really desire a thing so deeply that he is willing to stake his entire future on a single turn of the wheel in order to get it, he is sure to win it

flight from her smile

1.) Was I a sparrow with a broken wing?
2 .) Going through life by hopping around.
3 .) Like a Ruppell’s vulture, I now fly when you are smiling.
4. ) I thought my life was sound,
5. ) But that’s for until my eyes could see!
6. ) I now ask myself some questions.
7. ) Do life’s doors require a key?
8. ) If so, why was under this illusion?
9. ) Thinking that all doors were wide open.
10.) Thank got for I have met you,
11.) And all my illusions are broken.
12.) I know with you as my boo,
13.) All my dreams will come true
14.) And through all those doors we will walk through.

My prayer

I kneel before a Universe
Hoping that it’s Jesus to whom I converse
He said child dry your eyes
I know you hurt because of all his lies
Keep your head up my child
For I won’t forsake you in the wild
I will carry your burdens for you
Just keep your faith loyal and true
Believe in me child
I am the only truth
So i submit before Him
And pray He forgives me before the coming
It is promised we will leave this place and return to the land of milk and honey
Where there is no more pain
Only awaiting judgement day
His return will cause mayem
For those who don’t believe
They will truly see
That He never left us at all
Just kneel down and pray
His always there no matter what sin made us fall
His love is unconditional
So I pray more
On his name I call
Jesus my Saviour
I am forever in your favour
For your blessings are precious
Thank you for your patience
So I kneel down and pray
Humbled by Him that’s all I can say. 
Amen
Until we meet again.
L.A

Dear Adam

DEAR ADAM.

Adam. God created you in he’s image,
Created by a being with infinite wisdom.
had the title as the first man to live on earth,
Yes you were the first.
made of dust and given a home,
Who knew soon it would’ve all been gone.
you must of been honored to be God’s first human creation.
The only man who lived though was never born out of a woman.
You spared your rib so he can design your equal. She was literally made for you…

Eve. You were created with the rib under Adam’s chest,
Meant to blend to be one flesh.
who knew Adam’s rib would have made you so beautiful. But you both took a bite into imperfection, and we all bare the visible birth mark of death.

But when you sinned against God, when you walked over to that tree,
did you anticipate that one day there would be wars against Adams and Eves
just so ‘she’ would be allowed to keep her own skin.
Where the world is dominated by some other ‘him’.
A pirate searching for the X that marks the spot of the tresures below her waist.
Pretending to be real, but being a man is far more than just copy and paste.
Your sin caused you to evolve into the nightmare that crawl from under her bed,
Just so your hunger for power can be feed.
You grew fangs and claws and roared while scratching the exteriors
Of women’s trust and stealing their crowns just so they feel inferior.
I doubt you’ll ever understand, you’re the monster in daylight, darkness in the afternoon.
You’re not the man in dark alleys you are the dead end in a dark alley, Hollow inside with a taint hint of callousness.
A dead end because you kill the self esteem
by defiling those who carry a form of angelic on their skin.

Tell me how did you escape from her nightmares into reality? how did you disguise yourself as human is far beyond me.
Where did you buy the make up to look less like a vampire?
Should have known that the devil is a liar.
Evolution made you into the devil’s companion and the worst part is…we can’t tell the difference.
And you barely suffer the consequences.

Cannibals!!!
That devour the innocence of fragile pieces of art,
I want to end you life.
monsters who tear pages out of your purity until the is nothing left to read of you,
a soldier invading the land in between a woman’s country,
just to benefit from the oil she protect in her Afghanistan,
Her war is to defend herself from this kind of terrorism.

A faceless creator who touched you in all the places you marked with stop signs on your body ignoring vital traffic lights as he drives through you, just to prove to you that he can.

Demon!!!
You scare woman into hiding the truth underneath their tongues, while they try stitching love back into their skin, and forcing tears not to escape their eyelids every time there is a mention of you,
I can still feel the cracks she carries in her womb.
You are not a man, you are the gremlin that walked out of a horror film and made us think you are human.
I have never had so much anger for a men I cannot even recognize.

Adam?…

What if I gave you a mirror to witness the creature you have become, you might also choke on these actions, because these sins are harder to swallow…
Eve is out there in the world soaking herself in water just so she can wash off your smell from her conscience, dye herselve into a different colour of security, trim out the smirk you left in her memory, bleach away the fingerprints you left inside of her. She bought a new shade of foundation just so she could make-up for wall you tore down, a concealer to hide away the shadow you sent to follow her, can’t you see no lipstick can cover the screams she mufles in her pillow every night.

How are you even alive? You deserve to be stoned to death since your heart is as hard as alabaster.
I search deep to find the answer…
In my cervix to the reason of why you would enter…
Without stopping to think any better…
Who are you if not a predator?
All I want to know is what is going to take to get rid of you. I want to leave you in a gas chamber and watch you suffocate on your own sins.
Let you drown in the tears of all your victims, I want to drag you into hell by your horns and let you burn in flames created by the fire buried inside.
But that won’t get rid of Eve’s pain.

Was this your plan all along? To tear off her wings just so she can never be rid of you?
What type of life form are you?
Did you know you would leave stab wounds in her dreams from the beginning?
Or is this a punishment because you were lead out of the Garden of Eden?

There is a thousand and one things I’d like to tell you when I finally get to unmask your behaviour. But all I’ll do if offer you a tall glass of water, because I’m sure lurking in corners and scanning for prey has made you thirsty.

PS. Eve was made for you, I guess you weren’t made for her.

Yours sincerely: someone who wants to kill the werewolf that lives inside you.

Flow Masengesho

Reason Why (20.09.90)

Girl I’ve finally changed into a man and you’re the reason why;

I couldn’t see your worth while you were mine;

Selfishness and pride had me so blind;

My heart was stuck in the past, I should have told you the truth instead of living a lie;

 

If you could see me today, you won’t believe your eyes;

I no longer go out drinking and partying all night;

I no longer hurt anyone even if they hurt me, I choose to walk away with a smile;

I keep my word and I’m living how God made me to be, I no longer live a make-believe life;

 

I don’t have any friends, those ones that stole all our time;

I spend most of my time at home, I’ve become a success and you’re the reason why;

Yes, I regret and yes I still miss you every day and night;

I know you’re gone for good and it still makes me cry;

 

You showed me the meaning of true love and I’m forever grateful we met;

I haven’t forgiven myself for loosing you yet;

I still believe our forever came to an early end;

And if I could I’d do anything to get another chance to love you again;

 

I thank God for the brief moments we spent;

When you gave your all too me, it was all worth it in the end;

Even though you never got to see the reasons behind;

Why we met, I’m the perfect man, you’re the reason why

Complexity in life

In and Out we’re breathing,
Visions we’re seeing them,
Sound waves hit our ‘Drums’.
Our minds are full of joy
Our hearts are full of love

Love peppered our eyes,
Love made us believe in fantasy
Yeah! We’re living life
Forgetting that there is sorrow,
Forgetting that nothing is perfect.

It doesn’t knock when it comes
It is its duty to keep us grumpy
All in all we’re just born unique
We’re knights of the night,We fight

Pain

You made my life a playground
Each time you enter my body i feel out of this world
When i think of you my mind gets dark and
I run out of joy

Why are you so bitter?
You do not tell when you come,
Hope and smile leaves me when you come near to me.
Sometimes i forget that they do exists in life

Your presence in mi body bring rain out of my eyes everyday
You make every question to have answer no
Thoughts have gone black; energy is what i am looking for.
You tormented me

You do not feel pity or shame about my emotions
Sunrise and sunset but you don’t give me relief
Nights pass away with mi eyes open, listening to headache

When i look into the mirror i see rain going through mi face
Looking at the pieces of events, they do not give sense,
Why is a word that dominates my thoughts; Are you happy to see me in this situation?
What is your aim about me? Why me? Still i get answers no

You direct my mind to the graveyard, where everyone has peace
Where crying and complaining are strange things
What the reason for me to be alive, my everyday question
Happy people around making no sense to me
How do they find hope and happiness in their lifes?

Day’s passes and you still in my body,
Aren’t you getting tired of my complains about you?
Pain i felt you and i respect you,
Relief is what i crave for now, peace is
What i need most, pain go away, go away
You have been mi enemy for too long

THE POOL

One day as I was sitting and looking into an empty pool, inside it was a pair of black water boots, two rubbish plastics bags, a broom with beautiful red and black colour in the middle of the brush and water gloves with an ugly red colour.
The wall of the pool from the deep end was as high as a wall of an ordinary house, at the other end was the swallow end at the deep end the stairs were of a house, but they were kind of strange they did not start from the bottom, in other words the stairs were leading into the pool and not outside
The floor of the pool was like the sky, blue and white, the paint was tearing off, but this resembles of the sky looked ugly because there were black lines drawn across the sky, I felt like the pool, I compared my life to this pool and the lives of those around me.
The black in the pool represented darkness to me a place of death where no one was safe and the ugly red colour of the gloves seemed like blood of older people who had perished before and the beautiful red of the broom symbolised all those younger ones that lost their life to this pool
It all started to make sense to me, life was like this pool, we all started at the swallow end of the pool where it was safe, the deep end of the pool is inviting here is where the deep trouble is and everyone wants to get into deep trouble.
Children are also there beautiful people, rich people and poor and broken people everyone is swimming. Those in the swallow end don’t want to be at the swallow end no more, they also want to get into the deep end; the pool is really a pull
Those in the deep end will make fun of you, mocking you to join them in this deadly path they find themselves in, some will give in and follow the deep end, but a few will remain and stand their ground firm, wise souls indeed.
Those who follow will die young or old and some unlucky will perish on their first attempt, how many drowned I wondered?
The black boots were in the empty pool for a reason, all those who had drowned were maybe wearing them, the struggle to go up and the water entering the boots and keeping them down, how terrible even my soul mate went to the deep end and left me all alone where we were safe and content. Even where it is safe it is not when you are all alone, all your enemies attack you from every direction, you may be stay strong for a while, then like a lady named hope, you become the little girl named hopeless, the wounds all over your body makes you weak, the tears rolling down your cheeks and asking no one but yourself and say why me?.. Why me?
You gave in what other people said to you, you weak, ugly, useless, boring and so on, I gave in and went to join the deep end. It was good it was really great at first I thought to myself, but that was only for a short while, I was in and I couldn’t get out, it was a struggle to get out of this deep end. The people walking around you and you want to be with them were it is safe, but is a battle against those who are keeping you down and deeper in the pool and drowning you, laughing at you the very same people who told you it was fun in the deep end.
When I have nearly given up, I looked around and I saw a stretch hand, but was too weak to reach and grab it… This hand never grew tired of stretching, every time I looked around it was still there, this stretched hand gave me power and a little voice said you can do it. With all the power left inside of me, I stretched my hand and got hold of a finger, but He held on my hands and brought me closer to him, he held me with both hands and pulled me out of the pool of misery and sorrows
He embraced me and I started to feel safe again. He asked me what my name was, I told him and He was no stranger I felt like I knew him from the day before I saw light.
I felt strong and not weak like many told me before. He told me to look around and I looked, nothing was useless, plants were growing, babies crying, people laughing and hugging each other, birds are singing and a cool breeze brushing against my face I cried and smiled at the same time. I said to myself I ;am whatever I want to be, I was my best friend and I became my worst enemy, but now I’m where I belong it feels good to be with the people you love and who equally loves you back and finding our ways was not easy thing to do. I thanks Him for not giving up on me and I thank her for never stop loving me, but most importantly I give my gratitude for teaching me this wordless song.
We have learned a lesson not, but the beauty inside of us and say pain is nothing, fear is crippling , but a smile a genuine smile is everything and us we were made simple but complicated is what we are now

FLANEGAN THABO NTSHOTSHO

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