Archives for February 2012

A conversation with a stranger

Me: The world is such a small place. How did I come to be here at this diner at the exact same moment you have? There is no one for miles around us!

The stranger: Mere coincidence I believe?

Me: Yes, I guess so. But is it not strange that we came here with the exact same intentions, wearing the same clothing?

The stranger: Yes, it is rather curious. Do you believe you are here for a reason, meeting me like this?

Me: No, I don’t believe in stuff like fate. I believe in things I can see and touch.

The stranger: That’s rather tragic don’t you think? Would you prefer life to just come and go purpose free? For there to be only a beginning, an end, and a whole lot of meaningless living in between?

Me: No, not exactly. I mean, I don’t think my life is meaningless just because I don’t believe in anything after death. My life derives meaning from the people I love and care for during my time. Live in the moment kind of stuff…

The stranger: Oh, that sounds quite liberating I guess, to not be burdened by such fanatical concerns. Many other people will condemn your ‘beliefs’, or lack thereof.

Me: Yes, I find religion to be quite unpalatable. I keep my distance. And yes, I do find it liberating to not have to hide in the shadow of an oppressive, no wait, loving, all knowing… I’m going to stop there, you get my point.

The stranger: I don’t think I do. Do you not worry that when you die you may be confronted with the answer you refused to seek out all your life? That you are just an ant, utterly incapable of contextualizing another realm that exists around you? And you are confronted by some deity upon your death, reprimanding and banishing you to eternal damnation. Do you not worry about that being a possibility?

Me: Well, if that is the result, it would have been a nifty trick on the deity’s part. I mean what’s that all about! A god who leaves all these traces of evidence over time to trick you and give you overwhelming doubt about his/her/its existence – a test of faith they call it. Believe… Don’t question… No thanks. I would not have any regrets, definitely not. I won’t follow such a god.

The stranger: Well, it seems like you have thought about this long and hard. But you still haven’t satisfied my question. My point is you are basing your decisions on evidence bound by the physical earth. An ant cannot conceive of humans in its world, similarly, microscopic beings would not be able to conceive the existence of ants. What if you are just an ant, incapable of conceiving a realm beyond you, irrespective of diligent, curious people poking around with earthly things, trying to close gaps?

Me: Well, I think I would accept that. I have used all the available information I could have on this earth to make the most informed choices. If a force or god (whatever it may be) greater than me purposefully gave me logic and choice and an ability to comprehend this world as though it is not governed by the supernatural, then jokes on him I say.

The stranger: mmm, that would be a funny joke. Have you considered that it might actually be a joke?

Me: What do you mean?

The stranger: You make me laugh. Humans are so arrogant. I can’t blame you for it. I really can’t. You are to date, my favourite experiment. And let me tell you, I have many experiments!

Me: Ok, It’s been great chatting, but I have to go now. This has been real! Who are you anyway?

The stranger: Go where? You have nowhere to go. You also have not come from anywhere…well, in your mind you have, but of course there really is no such thing as ‘your mind’. This must be all a bit overwhelming for you… I understand. I will give you some time to process it.

Me: This has been a fun chat, but really, who are you? And stop with the roundabout riddles, what are you talking about?

The stranger: Well, I am the ant, and you are the microscopic, insignificant critter. You are my experiment, one of many. Some are successful and quite enjoyable, others not so much. This has been quite interesting, amusing if you will… Although I would be incredibly optimistic to say it was a successful one. How do you define success at something when there was no purpose to it in the first place? Excuse my smirk, I was terribly bored.

So there, you must really feel liberated now, coming right from the horse’s mouth. You do not have any purpose. You never were meant to have. If you don’t believe me I understand. I get it; see it to believe it and all that good stuff etc. etc.

Well, what do you have to say for yourself?

Me: I’m not sure how to respond to that. I will however play along… If I am a microscopic bug, who cannot interpret a world with you in it or around it, and you are the ant, what would a human be to you?

The stranger: Exactly! Now you are getting the hang of it. I simply don’t know. I don’t even care to! It’s beyond me. We sort of have that in common! Only difference is I’m not as arrogant as you are in your convictions! You irrefutably do not believe in me, yet here I am before you. Poof! Same applies to those who believe in an ‘idea’ of me, which comically varies on a grand scale with you humans.

Maybe I am the alpha and omega, or the devil himself, I’m not bothered with such petty labels. I must say with the latter though, I have been playing with the magnifying glass on a few sunny days of late… Call it a guilty pastime. Don’t pretend you have not been guilty of that one before!

Me: You are right, I don’t believe you. I have met a lot of crazies in my time. But you definitely take the cake! It’s been fun chatting, but I really have to go. I’ve got a ‘meaningless’ chore to do. Bye for now. Until next time…um, I didn’t get your name, stranger?

The stranger: Don’t worry about me, it’s pretty much as irrelevant as this conversation has been, or what you did prior to it. Any ant for that matter! It has been good chatting, but I have to run as well. I have just thought of a great idea for my next experiment. Enjoy your last… I mean the rest of your day. Goodbye, little ant.

Me: Ok, goodbye, um… human being.

There’s No Place for ME

Loved as a baby, grew up as a “loner”
No connection, no place, like a dog without an owner.
Teased for my unusual body structure
To them I was just a joke
The anger that grew inside of me
Took over and consumed all hope.

My parents Bad Habits, added to the pain.
The feeling of being laughed at, made living such a pain.
Although I had some family, the “black sheep” I still remained
My sister felt my heartache, but she couldn’t see MY pain.

My parents made their choices, in which I had to live with
I watched my family crumble, not knowing how to mend it.
And as the years slowly passed, poetry became my heartbeat
With no true friend, I had my pen and that is all I needed.
I’ve turned my back against the world, my gang became my fam.
I’ve played the game and made my name, but still felt lost inside.

My mind was filled with doubt and anger
“Where to now”… I began to wonder.
There’s no place for me in this world of hate
”Dear Lord, please feed my hunger”.
And then I realised, that all that I’ve been through
Was enough to shape my future.
I’ve changed my view as God shaped my life

No longer am I filled with Hate.
And for my future generation I stand, to be a better Man!


My life has been lonely since childhood
My future seemed cold and shattered.
I’ve seen how a loving family could turn cold
And left my brothers and sister scattered.

It was like a dream that turned into a nightmare
Is this how life works out in the end?
Does real, true love break a perfect pair?
And why are there only memories left?

We call ourselves family, but yet it’s hard to talk
We act like commentators at gatherings
Discussing each other’s lives with no remorse.

From moms side to dads side
Family injected with lies.
Where does the politics end?
Can anybody here our innocent cries?

We fuss and moan, we judge and hate
The innocent sits on the fence.
Why can’t we live as one? Forgive before it’s too late!
Or have we already planned our fate?

False Pretences!

The test of life’s deepest oceans has finally arrived.
Back strokes potent as poison ivy.
For past love and embrace my heart strived
But between false pretences it slowly died.

They got pretend shields with ‘Gods’ name on it,
Yet they descend as low as the devils heart
Attacking the walls which protects my heart in it.
Causing pain and no options to mend it.

They shatter our image with pleasure in their eyes.
Feeding a burning endless fire.
Beyond the wasteland lays our hearts innocent cries
Unsuspecting, “revenge” well revised.

Behold, my destiny is fully planed out
Although my eyes have never seen it.
Success be my motto there’s no place for doubt.
Restoration with God we seek before drought

Lonely blanket of Jacaranda city

Each evening brings a blanket of loneliness in city of Jacaranda
I wonder is this me, or is this the light of this city
My heart ache and I look around
I feel that city is drowning each one of us in our own world
No one seems to have time for each other.
We all are running, chasing the unknown
Leaving everything which ever matter to us, in name of progress
I see couple holding hand in hand
and I feel how blessed they are
still not consumed in the rush of mad city
I say a silent prayer in name of those loving birds
Who are still nesting in the city but
aloof of the lonely blanket of Jacaranda city.

My heart is crying again

I promised myself not to cry
But look in your eyes, tension between your eyebrows
Tells me something is wrong
My nest is not safe in the storm
I see a pencil heel and a skirt in your eyes
Same place I used to see my picture few days back
I know where your heart is, it’s not in our nest anymore
I don’t know when our nest become only my nest and you become just a visitor
I know this place doesn’t comfort you anymore
You wana fly away.
I wonder what went wrong
For me still it’s just me and you making us, but
I can see your eyes changing
My heart sinks when I think about our nest and incoming storm
But I promised myself not to cry,
So I won’t cry, even if it hurts.

Totally Isolated

Totally Isolated

The wind blowing in ire expose
Exposing the branches nakedly
the sands pushed forcefully against the barks of the tree
throbbing like a slave beaten in the nude
the hope for a clear sky doesn’t seem possible.

Rain droplets painfully drowning the leaves
yet still strong to stand
searching the sun amongst the dark grey heavy clouds
could this be or is this …

Yet the weather so abrupt
the peaceful rain turns out to be a storm
Madness of shiver running through the trunk
leaves and branches exposed the trunk to utter bitterness and coldness
The wind so strong…
it feels as if the roots are plucked out
poor leaves drenched in the rain
yet standing and hoping for a better tomorrow
filled with warmth and greenies

The whirlwind touched the trunk
Bend the tree over and left it half dead
The leaves gone as if it were winter
branches broken and drowning in the of water
left in agony with some roots totally plucked
the storm still ongoing…

No hope…….and totally isolated.


Her maid and gardener are in fight again, she looks at them and not really sure what to say, Maid is with her since when she moved to South Africa and knows that she is a nice lady and really have no reason to fight with anyone. The Gardener start working in her garden few months back he is also a very down to earth hard working fellow, when first time he came in house, she thought he and maid will be good friend as they are from same age group, but she sense the tension in maid eyes first time she saw him, never able to realize why she look so troubled. Funny part is Gardner has done nothing to annoy maid but she is just cross with him. What can be a possible reason she will any way never able to figure out, South Africa is going through so much change and people not really seems to be as kind with each other as they appear. Maid is not young and she has seen the days of oppression and the way she see the world is totally different than her, seeing them stressing over nothing is not nice but they never say anything and in such times best thing, she think is to look aloof and hideaway in her own thought as for her this situation is not easy to solved, none of them have any real problem with each other yet they look so tensed when together.
She seems to lost in her own train of thought, she moved to South Africa few years back she grew up in a country where she never saw any discrimination and understanding these strain between the two people is beyond her reason but she also know these people have seen enough oppression and discrimination and they somehow got this right to be angry. She don’t really ever knew meaning of oppression till she moved to South Africa, for her only oppression she faced was when father used to forced them to do something without will or when she used to feel her sister always gets better clothes and toys as a kid that was her definition of oppression and discrimination. She think about it and feels bad, she is not mocking these people struggle, it just she happen to have easy life than her Gardner and Mai. She in her life time will never really able to figure out why her South African maid can’t stand her Zimbabwean Gardner, it’s just between them.