Archives for 2013

Awake, the looming dark of night
Wind howling, raindrops scowling
Sweat from my disastrous regret
Pollution worse than a cigarette.

A moment of relief quickly fades
The light through the window is man made
The nightmare is back, I’m incomplete
Space in the bed makes my heart miss a beat.

Sitting in the dark with a rotten heart
Reflecting on your broken heart
Two hearts, no more one
Pain like an elephant leaving a herd.

Still there is a smile to have
Lost in thought of our better selves
The love combined when I’m inside you
Bigger than two planets colliding behind you.

Pull my chin up, focus and heal
Even though everything seems unreal
On my knees, pray to God
He’ll keep me strong, even if flawed.

This person no more next to me
the pillow beneath her head causes envy
Love and hope will keep me well
Still, how much I crave and miss her smell.

Put my head down, try and sleep
Focus on my happiest childhood memory
Wasted time, it becomes clear
My happiest memory is you my dear.

If I was a thought I would choose to sail –
On the shallow seas of young minds that loose and fail,
Confined by confinement; in a prisoner’s shoes in jail.
Minds accused to ail as patients of eternal sickness in abuse’s tale.

If I was a thought I would choose to be planted –
Root-deep and fertilized in the mentally – bruised and demented
And refuse to leave centered the power of a foreign enemy
Exchanging blows with false reality close to falling sanity

If I was a thought I would build sacred temples –
Within souls where hatred settles as the devil’s naked samples.
In your grey thinking matter I’d give rise to vagrant rebels.

If I was a thought in blindness’ mind I’d cry for support
To rearrange the purpose of chaos in the life that we have got.

If I was a thought I’d fill holes in empty places –
Where colds roam through broken windows to kill souls of angry faces.

If I was a thought I’d be no accidental idea-
Built on luck and co incidence, harassed and strangled by fear
But a self- mental pioneer;
A thought of revolution’s emotions in motion to settle right here.
(Pointing to the head)

13 Days

She walked through the wide open double doors,
With her problem of 13 days
The problem she would now finally leave here for good.
13 days ago her shamed had been exposed,
In the back room of her Nkgono’s house,
With her mother as the midwife and lots of warm water and towels.
For 5 months she’d managed to walk without anyone knowing,
But the last four months it all became evident.
She’d laboured for 2 days unable to cry aloud.
13 days ago she’d first seen the little white, bald, Boer baby girl,
Whose skin hid Sesotho blood.
Who weighed 3.5kg and only had her brown eyes as proof,
Who gave one loud scream before gently suckling her brown breast.
Now she walked slowly to the reception desk,
Her problem wrapped in a thick pink baby blanket, wearing a blue Crawler
Her birth certificate, dummy and socks in a Shoprite Checkers packet,
Her little problem now fast asleep in a Moses basket.
She wasn’t supposed to love her because she didn’t at first
She wanted to keep her,
But white babies don’t belong with black unmarried maids,
She hung her head, ignoring the call of nurse,
Walking fast as her tears dropped and her heart broke,
13 days of love and her name was all she would be left with now.

She holds the basket steadily on her head,
Her moon face completely covered,
with only her eyes lighting her way,
Her long beautiful black locks,
Her straight Cleopatra nose and delicate elongated neck and prominent cheekbones,
Hidden behind a veil
meant to keep her safe, pure and sacred.
The veil that prevents her from learning anything besides the holy book,
The veil that says she cannot finish school and dream like her brothers,
The veil that forces her to get married to someone she doesn’t love and
Have children her body can no longer carry,
The veil that makes her wish she wasn’t a girl,
didn’t have breast and had the right to say no,
This veil that covers her beautiful moon face daily and can only be seen at midnight,
When she daringly takes it off and dreams