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Archives for 2013

Mistress

“We complicated” you said

I was no angel, we never waited
We were never meant to be
But still I fell, so deep
You had me wishing for parallel universe
Where I was yours & you were my future

Two broken people can’t fix each other
Our cracks & pieces don’t mend
Only sharp edges left to cut more of me
But I am in love with the pain
Its beautiful
Its toxic
Its me
Its us

Its complicated- you said

The reason u won’t leave her
I sit here holding your darkest nights
And she is your light
I know you are still missing something
I wish I was the one who completed you

So I drink on for us to numb the feelings
Take the high like my first puff
I consume you like a drug
I am addicted to you
I am lost in you
I am you

I am complicated- you said

I Kept My Word

I kept my word, but you never came
I had to ask to be beautiful.
We couldn’t be women because of you.
You taught us to be afraid.
Daddy, you sick bastard
You broke four hearts &
Mended ony two.
My soul to blame
I don’t love you the same.
Daddy I kept my word, but you never
Came.

Mosquito Bites

Mkhulu, outside a township heat wave passed us more than a thousand times. yesterday We were sitting on your straw mata’s listening to crickets and toads growl in agony behind unknown places. Just the way you taught us Mkhulu. The night, so innocent, was pure and celebrated by stars of which you were one of them. Subconciously our tiny hands slapping at our tiny feet at night, dodging the unnatural touch of shongololo’s and mosiquito bites. Consiciously watching the pale lady of diplomacy singing lullaby’s to her people.

Gift Within You (Dedicated To Ronald “Ronnie” Cloete)

Ronald “Ronnie” Cloete;

I never told you that I’m glad I met you;

Maybe at first we weren’t close but I was changed by the little things you used to do;

There was a reason that we met;

 

Im yet to find out why, I’m not sure yet;

Your presence commanded my respect;

It’s something I just couldn’t forget;

I’ve met alot of people but somehow you were just different;

 

You caught me off guard my nigga and demanded my attention;

Normally when people speak I just switch off, but your swift words made me listen;

I know your struggle;

The way that bitch did you and left your heart in trouble;

 

But we’re thugs so it’s all good, God destined us to meet so I could ease your pain and doubt;

I was there before, I’ve been ran through so many times my nigga I’ve lost count;

Out of all the people I’ve met along the way;

You are the only one who could make me laugh the tears away;

 

Well I guess you never knew my soul was scared , my smile was fake;

It was my way of subsiding the pain;

Alot have considered me a friend when I considered them aquintences;

But I knew you from the get go you were different;

 

Talent undiscovred, I realised in an instant;

I dont give a fuck what people say;

People are the reason the world is this way;

I can see your gift, pain opened up my eyes to realise and see hidden angel wings;

 

You were born with them my nigga, just stay true, always put God first and do your thing;

Ronnie, you’re one of a kind;

Your talent is something others have to work hard just to do, I won’t lie;

Nigga never accept “NO”;

 

People are jealous, they just want to prevent your growth;

They once did me the same, nigga trust me I know;

So take it from me;

Find your gift and cultivate it and you’ll succeed;

 

Your success was not based on peoples perception;

It was a gift from God even before your conception;

My nigga you inspire me because of your never ending smile and happiness;

You motivated me when I was depressed;

 

Ronnie although you never knew, you are one of the reasons I finally found success

Eight Minutes From Park Station

Trust hummed the tune to “My Redeemer Lives” as he turned the corner into Rissik Street. The unwieldy weight of his spruce-top acoustic guitar danced across his back with each step. Trust always played back each song on the playlist in his head and reminded himself of what chords he needed to play and the changes in the strumming pattern at each section of the song. By the time he got to the last song, which was usually after about twenty minutes, he would be at Commissioner Street, in the safer part of Johannesburg. It was a nerve-wrecking experience, every Saturday, having to walk down Rissik Street whilst trying not to show just how terrified he was. He was eight minutes away from Park Station and halfway through song number three, “Take it all” when five, maybe six, unkempt boys who looked older than they should, surrounded him.

A short one stood in front of him placing his face uncomfortably close to his.”We don’t want to talk shit with you, just give us the phone, Baba,” he said.

Trust stuttered, “I, I don’t have a… ” He felt a sharp object press into his lower abdomen and complied. As the thugs fled in different directions, Trust took panicked breaths and, for the first time, smelled the stale alcohol from the short thug’s breath, and something else. White spots appeared in his eyes, blocking more and more of what he should have been seeing. Then black ones, yellow ones and red ones. He felt faint, and felt himself fall to the ground as a capacious pain shot out from where the knife had poked him. “At least they didn’t take my guitar,” he thought, as he fell to the pavement in slow motion. He heard the hollow thump of his guitar hitting the pavement, and then he heard nothing.

My Dad, My Light

My father told me that when he was my age he wanted to be a painter, actually, not just a painter but an artist. However, after a short stint in Paris with more girlfriends than galleries he decided that he wasn’t good enough to be an artist. There were other who were gifted, he was merely persistent and even on that count, not persistent enough since he abandoned paint and Paris and decided to light up the sky instead. Now I don’t know exactly what he did, the word electrician was often thrown around, words like switch gear too. All I do know is that while my dad lived, he lit up the room, quite literally.

Succeed The Key Is Within

I wasn’t born to be the best;

I just never gave up, decided to be different from all the rest;

I don’t beg, I command respect;

If you believe otherwise then you don’t know me yet;

 

With every rejection, I just kept on and eventually I passed the test;

From a man who fianlly made it, never listen to what people say, just keep doing you;

They live to see you fail and that’s the cold truth;

Our future is in the youth;

 

Set your mind free from people’s opinions cause it doesn’t define you or what you do;

Talent almost overlooked, Thierry Henry & 2pac just to name a few;

They just needed one person to believe in what they do;

They never gave up, they kept it real, kept it true;

 

They knew who were they were and embraced it, they found their true value;

They became legends, the next legend could be you;

Most people don’t embrace the gifts they have;

They are afraid of what people think, other than death this makes me even more sad;

 

Each person is special, one of a kind, so search within and find what makes you unique;

Be the best you, God made you perfect even if you can’t see;

Those things people name your flaws are what God calls your best attributes;

Take the worlds ways and do the opposite cause the world has twisted views;

 

Get to know yourself and stop immatating those that surround you;

You’ll be surprised to find people respect those that remain true;

Before I pass I want to see a world without pretenders and fakes;

If we all just let go and be who we were born to be someday;

Watch out, it’s gonna be a miracle that the world could never take even less anticipate

Holla If You Feel Me

Stress and constant trials;

Can I have peace for a little while;

And go back to better days and easier times;

I’m lost within this battlefield in my mind;

 

Haunted by scars left by my past hidden behind my smile;

Tears and regret like a shadow are frequent companions of mine;

Lost in this life of solitude;

Wishing to be with you;

 

But I know having you around is no good;

My pain is overbearing and the reason is you;

I’m not the same as I used to be;

Doing time for us in this prison within;

 

Can’t escape this deathrow cause I can’t run away from me;

Haunted by our good memories;

The hurt you caused has made me blind cause it’s all I seem to see;

Searching for an escape cause I want to be free;

 

This prison cell makes it hard to breathe;

Asking God for some relief;

No flesh just bone left cause I’m constantly on my knees;

Searching for a genie to grant my wish;

 

I need only one even though I’m afforded three;

My only wish to set my captive soul free;

Or a trip to Heaven to make sure God can hear me;

So holla if you feel me

Anger

why am i so angry , this cant be good for me & i

i might have a chip on my shoulder , but dont scream at me

you will die

i always start off with the best intensions , then the smallest thing

brings out the vengeance

i pray to god to keep me calm , it works for a while

till the beast inside me turns back the dial

i dont know what is turning my days into night

so ive decided to put it on black and white

maybe this way i can rid my demons , i hope there arent to many

i really just want real friends not for a nickle and a penny

does anyone know what is wrong with me or is this who i am

i dont want people thinking that i am just a sham

i know i have to work at it and thats a fact

i cant be going around being a hartless act

theres a sofness inside of me , i can see it now

i will win this fight i just dont know how

ill just keep praying to my god of choice

and keep on working on my tone of voice

a anger class or two might do the trick

who knows i might just meet a friend there

or throw someone with a brick

SONNY BOY

who did this to you sonny boy

is this who you are or would you like a choice

can you hear me boy or am i wasting my time

some luminous lizard will eat you down the line

have some tree of knowledge boy its gonna make you a star

or even better yet , try this little chocolate bar

it will make you speak to animals and chickens

are you looking in the mirror , whats that noise in your head

sonny boy you biscuit wheres my purple dot ,you also saw the balls bouncing did you not

you even saw the bush become a crowd of note

for that slowboat of freedom is sinking down my throat

sonny boy watch out , you gonna need a friend tonight

the bridge is still far my friend , here take my guiding light

you have to be brave to be brave sonny boy

lets go win this fight

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