Archives for 2013

One thing we all have to face is death;

So on the day I breathe my final breath;

There’s a few things I want you to do;

I don’t want to see you cry, what’s the use;

 

I want you to party with 2pac “Life Goes On”;

I want all my nigga’s to sing along;

I don’t want a pastor to read from the word that day;

It’s too late to change my fate;

 

Instead I want my nigga’s and family to grab the mic;

And reminicse on my life;

I don’t want anyone to be in a suite;

I want it to be casual so keep it true;

 

At my grave I want each of you to throw sand on my soul;

I want only white roses layed on my tombstone;

Dear Mamma, you are the only one allowed to cry;

I was your only son that’s the only reason why;

 

To my doggs, I’ve been saving up for this day;

There’s a bottle of Hennessy and cigars so you can sip and blow pain away;

For those who stay high just to maintain;

I’ve left some cash so you can get some drugs and party at my grave;

 

I don’t want any of you to leave early;

I want you to keep my memory alive and embrace my legacy;

To those who didn’t care about me while I was alive;

I don’t want you at my funeral, don’t waste your and my time;

 

To those who hated me don’t bother keeping up appearances and pretend;

I don’t need your sympathy or respect;

I lost respect for you while I was alive and it never changed at my death;

To those who ran me through;

 

Don’t worry I forgave everyone of you;

But it wasn’t out of weakness, it was out of strength, I did it for me and not to please you;

I needed to release hate to enter Heaven’s gates;

I refused to let hate send me to endure hell’s flames;

 

To my ex lovers if any of you decided to come;

I’m sorry for all the dirt I’ve done;

I was living in the fast lane, life of a thug;

It wasn’t personal, I just found it hard to trust;

 

To my niggas, there’s only a few;

Let me mention you by name so you know who I’m referring too;

Brother’s Ian and Brian Nxumalo, Leroy Links,Rynel “NiteMan” Classen, Elzano “Zano” Cloete,Keith ” Kat” Van Rooi, Colin “Patat” Ross, Ronald “Ronnie” Cloete, Lerato “Allan Keys” Amor , Bongani Goliath, Tumelo Dibakoane, Reagan “Oom R” Smith, Anthony aka “Voeltjie”, Sidney “60” Fortein, Grant Jacobs, Eugene “Gino” Schwartz, George Loliwe, Damian Moodley,Ghershone Veldschoën, Heinrich “Milo” Bridgens, Nazley “Naz” Booysen;

Forgive me for those I failed to mention, I include you if you were my nigga and remained true;

 

My funeral will probably be full of white people but don’t worry or care;

Now you’ll finally know how I felt when I rolled with you and got those same cold stares;

Forgive them, people find it hard to change;

I got so used to the race hate, when it never happend it felt strange;

 

Now I know some of my nigga’s are crazy and lost their mind;

But at my funeral party I beg of you don’t fight;

This party is just for you, I tried my best;

So for once drink and smoke in peace out of respect;

 

To the nigga’s I buried before my last day;

Come escort my soul so I don’t get lost along the way;

Come join the party, I know my doggs have been missing you;

So too my nigga’s especially “NiteMan”, make room for “Ike & Dru”;

 

To all my enemies I hope you chose to stay away;

I’ll make sure my nigga’s make it your funeral on the same day;

But instead of a funeral they’ll just piss on your grave;

See I never had time for bitch nigga’s who were fake;

 

Now I know this is not the traditional way;

But I don’t care I was born crazy;

I’m sick of attending funerals where everyone seems dead;

We only buried one person, you weren;t one of them;

 

I’m in a better place;

I want to see a smile on your face;

I want you to celebrate my last day;

If you asked me too, even if I was the only one I’d do the same;

 

Just to make sure my instructions are followed to the tee;

I’ve included it in my last will and testimony;

That nigga handing out my millions to some of you will also be there to see;

If it’s not followed, nobody is getting a cent, it’s going to charity;

 

I told you I trust no one so I took precautions so I can rest in peace;

I won’t let anybody pull a fast one on me;

I’ve learnt to be one step ahead of the game;

This is the way I want to have my last day

I was born an angel with broken wings;

Endured underserved things;

Too young to understand the reasons why;

Life is all good, I was fed that lie;

 

I was filled with anger not seeing God’s plan;

He never made a mistake even though I believed it, He dealt me my bad poker hand;

Later He told me “The best poker players win with the worst cards’;

So I stopped feeling sorry for myself and became a man;

 

Since birth He was empowering me with constant pain;

Struggles I survived were set to associate my name with fame;

A soldier sent to flip this dirty game;

To help my people avoid life’s hidden traps;

 

I want to give them a restart, a chance to get their life back;

I want to set free those bound by a prison of regret;

To let them know it’s time to forget;

I’m sick of seeing broken hearts all around me;

 

Lost souls seeking answers, I’ve got the key;

I’m here to set those doing time for their past free;

Maybe this was my purpose, I’m still uncertain;

But it’s become my passion to remove burdens;

 

I wish emotional pain on nobody;

Cause everybody needs somebody especially when they are hurt and lonely;

I want that somebody to be me;

A man wise from tears, born brutally honest and deep;

 

Who’s not afraid to tell the truth even if it hurts;

I’d rather tell the facts;

It will only hurt a while, but you’ll thank me one day when you look back;

I’m who God made me to be;

 

Those who know I don’t pretend to be who people expect me to be;

I don’t care if it makes me popular or not;

I’m here because of God’s love;

I want to make a change before I’m sent back to Heaven above;

 

The truth about life starts in a family home;

It’s time to stop protecting kids from the truth, life’s ruthless so let them know;

You’re killing them even before they grow;

If you didn’t know now you know;

 

I’m sick of seeing children’s innocence bieng stolen;

Age 12 and forced to act with a mature soul;

Babies having babies because a man promised her the love she never got from her dad;

Yet when she’s pregnant, parents get mad;

 

Parents are the underlying cause;

They should have told her about life’s falls;

We’ve lost too many kids to tears,regrets and pain;

This is the bullshit I’m living to change

Reminicisng back on that night;

19 years old when I was forced to end another man’s life;

I tried to keep the peace;

But he kept on pushing me;

 

Heard him say I was a traitor cause I ran with a coloured crew;

I brushed it off and remained cool;

I left the club in silence;

But as I turned my back he started unecessary violence;

 

My mind went blank;

Woke up to a dead man;

My heart instantly sank;

Saw blood on the cold pavement;

 

Arrested by punk police;

Trying to explain but they didn’t want to know about me;

All I heard was I was guilty;

Locked up in a single cell surrounded by another 20;

 

Faced the judge and explained my self defense plea;

He agreed and set me free;

All I heard was the sobs of a grieving mother as I leave;

Trying to find relief;

 

I’ve never been one to fight no matter what;

Always trying keep the peace when shit went south;

I never thought I could end another life;

It happend so fast like evening turning to daylight;

 

Remorse turns to regret as I think back to that night;

When I never chose to end another man’s life

Girl I know that I shouldn’t be missing you;

You’ve moved on and found someone new;

I’ve tried to leave you alone;

But my heart was born to be your home;

 

Our love story was born up above;

A one of a kind of love;

I knew it since that first day;

When my eyes first saw your face;

 

I wanted forever with you;

But forever ended too soon;

Nobody could ever take your place;

I’ve had so many who tried but failed;

 

It’s not that I’m still stuck on you;

You only cross my mind when I want you too;

It’s not that I still cry everyday;

I’ve just that I’ve not met another like you babe;

 

I know you will never come back this way;

I had my chance but let it slip away;

Even though I’ve finally changed;

This changed man came far too late;

 

I wonder if I’m alone or do you feel the same way;

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss the love we once made;

I still miss your beautiful face;

I miss your kiss that always took my breath away;

 

I miss your smile;

I haven’t seen one that cute in a long time;

I even miss our fights;

And the make up sex we used to have to get us right;

 

Girl what can I say I still love you;

I can’t even pretend cause I was born to speak the truth;

It’s okay if you don’t feel the same;

Cause the way I feel will never ever change

Lost a few brother in my life;

Never knew it was your last day;

So I never got a chance to say goodbye;

I’m so sick of tears;

 

Lossing brothers I knew for years;

You always had my back;

Who will protect me now from them cowards swift attack;

Lost love a few times it’s true;

 

But your passing was harder to take;

Damn my niggas I miss you;

I don’t have heaven’s number;

So I can’t holla at you when I’m in trouble;

 

I can always find another new bitch any day;

But your life is something I could never replace;

I wish I knew;

So I could have made more time for you;

 

Things that used to get on my last nerve;

Are now the things I miss the most, guess this is what I deserve;

Got your face tatted on my arm;

Now that you’re gone I consider you my lucky charm;

 

I wonder what you’re doing up in heaven;

Wondering if I cross your mind sometimes;

Like you do mine 24/7;

Funny how I still see your face in every rainbows reflection;

 

I pray with knees on the floor every single night;

Asking God to let you read all the dear You letters I write;

Your presence is like voice without a sound;

With every passing breeze I know your soul is still around;

 

Staring at your name engrave in stone;

Tears scarring your tombstone;

Wishing you could come visit me like we do every christmas time;

Looking at the falling stars for a sign to see if you’re still fine;

 

I can’t control the after life;

But I hope you’re inside;

Hope God forgave you for all those naughty times;

Hope you catch every tear that fall from my eyes;

 

I wish I could rewind time;

So I could tell you the things that are now trapped in my mind;

Till we meet on the otherside;

With words of rhyme I keep your legacy alive

Rolling in a gang aint about doing crime or acting bad;

It’s about finding the kind of love you never got from your dad;

Getting high or doing drugs ain’t about addiction, it’s not about that;

It’s to subside the pain of a troubled past;

 

I got love for my fam, it’s not that I didn’t care;

I’m saying my dad should have been there;

As a son I needed love in my younger years;

I was too young to understand life or handle those tears;

 

I did what I had to do just to survive;

My heart grew cold from the effects of a hard life;

I was schooled by the streets;

I ain’t mad, it’s what eventually made me;

 

It’s where I was taught the way of the game;

I wouldn’t have it any other way;

I still thank God for the troubled past I endured everyday;

Some say I’m cold and corrupted;

 

But none of you know me like my thug brothers;

I have a strong but peaceful heart;

I just use my mind, control my ego and think smart;

Only have a few I call friends;

 

People took advantage of my gullible heart cause I let anyone who smiled in;

Now I show you who I want you to see;

So you never have another chance to ever get the best of me;

I wasn’t born cold or cruel;

 

This world turned me against you;

Just like an addict, he was never born that way;

This cold world flipped him and his heart went astray;

I don’t look down on addicts or my homeless brothers;

 

I can relate so I understand their struggles;

A broken heart can destroy the strongest of men;

I know cause I used to be one of them;

I was never fed from a golden spoon;

 

I hustled hard to escape the poverty of the hood;

See I gave up my dream, my future, my studies for a bitch I thought was down for me;

But she rolled and cheated on me with my best friend;

I had to fight the tears, take it like a man and start all over again;

 

I could have decided fuck this world and turn to crime;

But I chose the legal way and worked had to gets mine;

Worked 12 hours in the daylight;

Went to night school for 2 years every night;

 

Weeks on end I couldn’t afford to eat;

Paid rent and studies with my less than average salary;

See an uneducated brother with a criminal past can’t get a decent job;

But I had to do what I had to just to reach the top;

 

You came to late you only see the credits rolling and consider my life a love story;

You never saw the start only saw the glory;

So think before you choose to judge me;

Nothing in this life ever comes easy;

 

Those who claim it does are selling empty pipe dreams;

My smile hides the pain you never see;

I’m stronger today because of the struggles God sent me;

Those hard times showed me my strongest attributes;

 

Leanrt to use my mind and drop my attitude;

Wisdom came at the price of  tears I cried;

Learnt to read actions not believe people’s lies;

You can try and sell me anything you like;

 

I won’t believe a word you say, learnt to trust no one in this life;

Real friends I call brothers I only have a few;

Nightman, Kat, Patat, Zano and Ronnie;

My nigga’s I just want to thank all of you;

 

For never giving up on me no matter how I treated you;

Some day soon my name will be associated with fame;

And for all you did for me I’ll be able to repay;

We will sit back and laugh about our past days;

 

As we sip expensive liquor and smoke cuban cigars;

Riding around with drop top sports cars;

As I move up I’ll never leave you’ll behind;

We move as one until the end of time;

 

You’ll showed me love when the world threw me aside;

You had my back everytime cowards tried to end my life;

You’ll will always have the biggest part of my heart;

You’ll are the reason I made it this far;

 

People only see the end and never the troubled start;

If it wasn’t for you’ll I’d have been buried in an early grave;

So I thank you’ll not for money or fancy things but for the love you gave;

It’s the emotional deposits that mean more to me today;

 

I got all the money I want or need;

I got bitches every night beside me;

I learnt in the end when you’re alone at night money don’t mean a damn thing;

It’s my niggas who showed me love that mean more than material things to me;

 

So I salute my nigga’s who stuck by my side;

Who never left me alone even if it was at the cost of their own life;

So from me to you it’s ride till I die;

Niggas for life until the Lord calls my name and it’s time to say goodbye.