That old lonesome feeling takes my heart by surprise;
Whenever I open up my eyes;
I have grown afraid to sleep, so I tend to stay up late most nights;
This sudden change has my Mamma concerned, she keeps wondering why;
But how do I explain something I find hard to understand;
That I’ve got the heart of a little lost boy within the body of a grown man;
Sometimes it frustrates me but what can I do;
It hurts but I have no choice but to push on through;
Perhaps I missed something and my name is still on Karma’s list to do;
I’ve told her I’m sorry, I tried to explain why, she slammed the phone down in my ear, so what’s the use;
I’ve called heavens hot line and never seem to get through;
When I ask others for advice on what to do;
They all say to move on and find someone new;
As if I never thought of that, as if I never knew;
There’s nothing I haven’t tried, I’d rip out my heart if I could;
I don’t enjoy missing someone who no longer feels the same;
I don’t want to cry about someone who’s mind I never cross of late;
That has forgotten the things that still haunt my heart like a ghost night and day;
It’s simple to say move on, but doing it isn’t as easy as they claim;
They said Jesus is the answer, I took the step and now I’m saved;
The same problems remain, I’m just considered a tainted saint;
Living in a sinful life but covered by grace;
As if I took out an insurance policy as a slave;
I’m not saying getting saved was a mistake;
I’m saying my intentions were wrong so the result was the same;
If I gave my all to God but not my heart, how could I expect a change?;
I’m not trying to bring down the tone of love in anyway;
I’m just being real, this is how I live in my every day;
Behind a painted smile on a tear stained face;
Only those who know me well can see my pain;
The rest think I’m living the dream life, wishing they could exchange;
Their lives with mine, if only they knew, they’d think it over again;
Love wasn’t the problem, I made the mistakes;
If I had made them knowing the consequences I’d be okay;
But I never had a clue on what the cost of lost love would be one day;
Until it hit me when she walked away;