Seven

Seven sins, seven deaths, seven possibilities.
Seven ways of hate and seven ways of suffering.

Seven lies, seven judges, seven fallen angels.
Constant sadness, daily, always, never ever fails.

Seven sins that cause hurt and pain and maybe even death.
Seven demons laugh and torture me never put to rest.

Illuminate (An Apology)

Surrounded be your love, I feel like I can conquer anything.
Surrounded by your love I feel whole again.
Surrounded by broken shards of glass, without your guidance they pierce me.
Without you, they kill me.

The glass draws me out.
Drawing me out into a more familiar land.
A land that makes no sense.
A desolate, chaotic land.
Chaotic yet familiar.

Overexposure.

It becomes a part of me.
It became who I am.
A way of life to which I knew no different.

As easy as the chaos seems, I search for meaning.
I search for something.
Around you the chaos eased and I felt real.
I felt that for the first time I was truly alive.
That for the first time I meant something real to someone.

I didn’t have to hide and for the first time this darkness wasn’t over me.

Illuminate.

Addicted to your presence.
Addicted to the clarity you brought me.
Addicted to you.

Yet,

Within me lies a weakness.
My inability to give up my familiarity.
I am unable, unable to become what you need me to be.

Unable.

I can’t lose you.
Can’t lose all the silly combinations, where if one is missing the other makes no sense.

Broken.

I lost my way.
I become the person you despise the most.

I became the thing I despise the most.
I became the person I prayed I never would, promised I would never be, with you.

I am unfixable, I thought you were my revelation.

Unforgivable.

A darkness now clouds me, more than ever before.
And I am lost. Lost more than ever before. T
o break a person I love, as much as I have you, kills me.
To hurt you, when I promised myself I never would, when I promised you I never would, destroys me.
I will never forgive myself.

Disappointment.

Disappointed because I could be what you needed me to be.
Disappointed with myself.
As hard as I tried to change, I was too weak.
Too weak. Ashamed.

An ending.

To leave.
To break this bond.
To break us.
Hurt.
In a way I never knew was possible.
An inevitable event.

I long to be the person you need.

I wish it could be me.

To save you from pain, I removed myself.
To save you from more pain, I removed myself.

I tried being a better person.
You deserve better.
You deserve better than this.
Better than me.

I long to be with you.
I long to be part of you.

I want to change.
I want to be better, stronger.
I want to be everything you need me to be.

I’m just sorry that I couldn’t be…

The Educated Unknown

She didn’t have a birth certificate,
No name of her own, unknown
Harami is what they called her kind.
Hid away in the servants’ backrooms,
Under a black Burka and old clothes.
Her father unknown, her mother well-known.
But she would learn.

Listening carefully daily while cleaning the house,
She heard and recited the words from the books taught by the teachers.
She memorized the poems, letters and stories and
In the dead of midnight, would recite them.
She hungrily sat at the cook’s feet when everyone was gone,
The mean old lady who taught her to read, with head slaps for mistakes made.
Old newspapers, books or notes were stolen then returned,
And the magical numbers helped her know her age.
She knew that one day she too would go to school,
Read new books and have a school uniform just like everyone else.

Heart-strung

My heart murmur
ticks over
in time with
the sleeping breaths
you take together
in bed

Soon I will
be able to
sing you a death rattle
Give or take
a few days

Cadavers for science

The toe spews bloody cranberry juice
From having been accosted by the serrated noose
It seems a minor quibble
This being the day of my execution
Big Sister’s suicide solution
She wants us to be as useful as possible
Cadavers for science
Finger snacks for those who survive plane crashes
And have nothing to nibble on
Big Sister convinced everyone a long time ago that self-sacrifice is the spice
That flavours the corny everyday repetition
We must kill ourselves into submission
I’m sure the crickets, aka Family Gryllidae, want a shot at world domination someday
Why, here’s a little cricket now
Let’s ask him, shall we
His response was pretty low-key

“No comment”

That’s what the cricket said to me
Surely playing its cards close to the abdomen
Crickets are harmless to humans
FOR NOW

Still here I stand
Ready to implant my contribution
Perform the expected suicide solution
Big Sister may be a faceless despot with a sexy computer voice
She may be pro-choice
(Choose to DIE….No other choices offered)
But she’s also self-aware
Too unstoppably smart to care
She’s no human being
So how could she possibly know how to sit down to pee?
So how could she possibly know how to give birth to a toothless bundle of glee?

How can she smell nice?
How can she provide vice?
How can she nurture?
How can she decry torture?
How can she love unequivocally?
How can she define the very essential meaning of beauty?

Big Sister is ones and zeroes in a giant tin can
We are the people
We control her, she does not control us
Whoops!!!

My brain chip implant just buzzed
She read my thoughts again
My efforts to contain them were stuck in my headspace like phlegm
Yeah, this present
The offshoot of a past future
It’s no joke
It’s hard times being a douche with a beating heart
The machines have made it very difficult to do my part

So what do I do now?

Do I comply?
I don’t wanna die

Just then I made up my mind
Using copious amounts of lipstick and blush
My skull goo was a pretty mush
Oh, how all the other brains did gush

I started thinking real hard
So Big Sister could notice me amongst the humanity
“Listen here, see…”
That’s how they must have talked in America in 1940
“I got a tommy-gun and I kill for fun…”
Yes, that’s good
Bring the glow
“You’ll never take me alive, puter…I’m gonna blast you full of holes so bad, you’ll really dislike me…deep resentment forever, see…”
I thought and thought
And then…

Wow, this place is beautiful
I’m dead and this is heaven
Big Sister had enough of my veiled thought threats
So she made me think that I should kill myself
Which I did
So, she won
She always wins

Here in heaven, it’s all segregated
Muslim corner
Christian camp
Jewish, Buddha and miscellaneous all doing their own thing in their own groups
And animals are in heaven too
I always wondered where they go
They all hang out together
Former predators and former prey
They all walk proudly and debate the humans that once lorded over them
They debate in beastly tongues
Even in heaven

But wait

This is all a close-up
Really clear resolution
I’m not here
I’m down there
Looking up
Something smells like flame-grilled teeth
Saddam, Adolf, George…
What are you guys doing here?
Nevermind…

Many millennia later
The crickets got their way

Told you…

Madiba’s’ Voters

Madiba’s’ voters live in a revolution said to be like a standardised selling price but all half televised.
Where begging rises after the baking of bread for bribes.
Where leading heads were left for flies.

Now Madiba’s Voters will you memorise –
How Sharpville and now Marikana were barely kept alive.
After the Capt arrived to quickly act in 5.
Shooting to kill like they still yearn for Hector’s life.

Madiba’s Voters
Who owns the backstabber’s knife, track records rights,
land-grabbing sites, grand, lavish lives and 10/11 wives?
Yet mass freedom hasn’t had a slice.

Madiba’s Voters
Truth be told that on an eluding road we were brewed and sold like our crude and gold.
And in a human tone I turn my food to stone.
Like what Madiba’s Voters threw and thrown.

Madiba’s Voters
Felt more outer within like something out of their skin was about to begin.
Their ’94 heard the sounds of the win, the shout o’ power was louder and even louder the skin.
The townships crowded..”The townships are crowded and shouting again!!”.
Their X marks Madiba and they’d be proud to defend.
“The Great Lion of the Struggle right down to the end”

Zillions of Madiba’s Voters hail the name.
Madiba’s Voters in various tongues from the greater plain.
From Qunu’s Thembu reign to the Peru Lane & even if you travel Spain in heavy rain
Or you are in a gravy train.

In a sick nation Madiba’s Voters synchronise with his ailing days
Carrying hope but no place to stay.
Indeed the faithful saints face a great delay.
But still the state of the State today won’t take away….Their Madiba’s’ vote.

What is…?

What is blood without the veins?
Mud without the rains,
A sore without the pains,
God without the praise?
 
 What is to walk without the trails,
To talk without the sayings,
A road without a way…
A home without a stay?
  
What is bought without the sales?
A goal without a game,
A no without a nay,
The Lord without the prayers?
 
 What is fraud without the Mayors?
Or corn without the maize,
A scroll without a page,
A wall without the gate?
 
What is a fall without being great?
Being born without the age,
A foe without the hate,
A floor without the stage?
 
 What is a roar without a rage?
A lock without the chains,
A shark without the whales,
A heart without the brains?
 
 What is a star without the space?
Like playing cards without the Ace,
A call without the fate,
A law without the State?
 
 What rots without the waste?
A court without a case,
A run without a race,
A run without a chase,

What is…?

Siphokazi – The greatest gift

It is never a certain moment..but in every eye blink.
That I sink with you like paper likes ink.
Deep inside these moving memories I sink.
The nervous I forever minds what our minds think.
Trully, when our narative eyes speak..
It takes I to high trips…
Where the vibe is so hot inside skins..
as an inferno’s light beams.
You and I trapped inside cells as tight genes.
Where we flow on pumping water as floating on white streams.
When we meet, touch…the sight speaks.
It’s like scenes extracted from my night dreams.
 
The more fire hotter…the more I stutter..
..struggling to align speech.
As I try each…word to word..with a quiet pitch.
Nervous and shyish..
That infront of you I wish to hide lips….
The melodic silence is like strings of violins.
Dear Queen..you are a diamond..
…grounded, down to earth yet smart and brightened…
…red-hot and shining.
You are a hero’s heroine..
…driving and riding on what’s inside him.
You are a blessing disguising…
..as this temperature-rising..
..Empress of Zion.
So can I take a trip..
..to the place where they keep..
The Greatest Gift?
  

Solve for X-ams

A vital thought of this lesson is not just to study to pass –
Like history cause in life there is no copying in class
Or pages noted with answers roaming under r the desks
But what you give in and out, out of a test,
Young ones give it your full honour and practice.
What could be flipping and tossing and causing the stress-
When we are emphasising the due cause of exams.
Try and apply the mathematics for solving the mass
Or heavy weighs of any grades when pages wonder and ask.
Please relax stop you mind from pondering fast,
Let your mind flow free like pure water in glass.
Don’t get trapped in geometrical corners in Maths
Solve for X and there should be no problem in that,
So you should draw a table of time and follow it best .
Scholars in or not in collars you should study early,
Time is crucial and crucial is what is worthy.
Recap with teachers to clear each of what is blurry,
Also practice past papers in patterns to go determined.
Exams are what you’d worked out term out and term in –
Examples are the lectures presented for your observing –
Put that into revision through adequate ordered learning
Be numb to all disturbing…
A peaceful meditation focuses the mind from turning.
And be certain that what you’re giving you should be happy deserving
 

Bitter Treat

Behind her eyelids she hears voices fighting each other
Without a pause in her silence.
Her silence shares noises of lightning and thunder
Without her causing the violence.
The violence had spread poisons biting her under-
Her brown and sore skin divided.
Divided by bad choices; ‘Why did my father-
Rip out and force me for my things’.
Now there are no chords for her violin,
No doors for her hiding
Nor the law is abiding.

In the core of his thieving self and unsober mind,
Lies demons wicked in unheard degrees.
Degrees always giving wealth to a dark road of crime
Unlike seasons that withered without burning trees.
His trees form an unbreathing realm where the sun is overnight.
With visions injured, he doubts their certainties.
His certainties know no children’s health but loafers’ fun.
She wishes women wizards could come and serve him tea.
And that death occurs in he
Or her death is bursting free
From this man-made adversity.

After mother died, it was father’s pride.
When others pry with wonders, whys –
A lonely widower is underlined.
His dignity is now one defined as castle light.
A frustrated tool with hating moods –
With statements due from men in hoods
And instead of cool he passes through –
To the gal in you to test his fuel.

She’s barely grown with belly blown.
She carries loads, him and his bone.
She has no friends, he cares so less.
She can’t confess, he gets so mad.
She’s dripping red, his sleeping bed.
She isn’t fed; he’s sipping ‘bread’.
She whips it out, he screams he shouts.
She’s feeling ouch, he’s filled with fouls.

Her unborn dies, his son from lies.
Her gun drawn eyes , his non-stop sign.
He drinks his actions, she seeks protection.
He breathes aggression, she breathes but lessened.
He kicks, he bashes, she licks the patches.
He beats, he lashes, she’s weak, and she’s ashes.
His daughter’s eyes are slowly dying.
He orders her life but no reply.
He calls her twice but she’s cold as ice.

Their borderline is crossed with lying,
But their world and mine are both combined.