Archives for July 2013

You will be fine

I won’t not this time, you know nothing of what I feel inside.

My heart is bleeding and my minds at war.
I haven’t been in this kind of darkness before…
I’m broken my body is worn.

Look into my to eyes I’m begging you please.
Can you see me, I’m bleeding….

Are you there? I’m screaming.
why won’t you help
Pleading in vain, why won’t you listen

Its getting dark again.
I’m Begging please, please see me again!
The walls are closing in!!

suffocating, choking, waiting…

I can’t scream anymore there’s nothing to say…
darker…
Reaching out but you just stare.
I’m crying

I’m fading…. can you see?
You could have saved me…
do you care?

Its too late… I’m nearly out!
I’m bleeding again this time its real.
Dying.
Blaming you.
Worthless…

Look at us lying here, broken, my reflection.
If you had just seen me
we could have be fine.

You rose From the shadows reached into my light, took something of mine too selfishly soon.
You heed no warning you show no signs that into the shadows you’ll take the divines.

You had no right to just come and take, you took my light and made it night, you crushed a heart, left things unsaid you broke up families so un prepared.

Now the darkness is all I see I beg I plead just please take me. You’ve taken my eden and turned it to dust you took a love I will never again touch.

The choice you made I cannot change, I wished and prayed I was merely deranged. My soul seems hollow my flame has died.

I can’t feel the light I just cried and cried and even though your deed is done. In my heart they carry on. You may have taken their body from sight but YOU DEATH will one day have me to fight.

25.04.2013

Awake, the looming dark of night
Wind howling, raindrops scowling
Sweat from my disastrous regret
Pollution worse than a cigarette.

A moment of relief quickly fades
The light through the window is man made
The nightmare is back, I’m incomplete
Space in the bed makes my heart miss a beat.

Sitting in the dark with a rotten heart
Reflecting on your broken heart
Two hearts, no more one
Pain like an elephant leaving a herd.

Still there is a smile to have
Lost in thought of our better selves
The love combined when I’m inside you
Bigger than two planets colliding behind you.

Pull my chin up, focus and heal
Even though everything seems unreal
On my knees, pray to God
He’ll keep me strong, even if flawed.

This person no more next to me
the pillow beneath her head causes envy
Love and hope will keep me well
Still, how much I crave and miss her smell.

Put my head down, try and sleep
Focus on my happiest childhood memory
Wasted time, it becomes clear
My happiest memory is you my dear.

If I was a thought I would choose to sail –
On the shallow seas of young minds that loose and fail,
Confined by confinement; in a prisoner’s shoes in jail.
Minds accused to ail as patients of eternal sickness in abuse’s tale.

If I was a thought I would choose to be planted –
Root-deep and fertilized in the mentally – bruised and demented
And refuse to leave centered the power of a foreign enemy
Exchanging blows with false reality close to falling sanity

If I was a thought I would build sacred temples –
Within souls where hatred settles as the devil’s naked samples.
In your grey thinking matter I’d give rise to vagrant rebels.

If I was a thought in blindness’ mind I’d cry for support
To rearrange the purpose of chaos in the life that we have got.

If I was a thought I’d fill holes in empty places –
Where colds roam through broken windows to kill souls of angry faces.

If I was a thought I’d be no accidental idea-
Built on luck and co incidence, harassed and strangled by fear
But a self- mental pioneer;
A thought of revolution’s emotions in motion to settle right here.
(Pointing to the head)