Archives for August 19, 2013


Being young and working in an industry that pays” peanuts” has left so many questions in my mind. Actually a dozen of these questions have risen from the frequent conversations with my colleagues. They all want to move, they want better jobs, houses, cars and some even husbands.

I often wondered what the root of all this dissatisfaction and low morale was. Then more than half of them decided to take on distance learning,” great move”. The fact that they all registered for the same course kinda left my mouth hanging and feeling like the black sheep. “Bcom is where the money is” they insisted. “What have you registered for” they would ask and in the lowest tone I would quickly answer a “BA” and walk away before I notice the annoying look of disapproval. “Well that girl is definitely headed for poverty” they would say as I exit the room.

Hence I got fed up of trying to defend myself and try to reason for my choice of studies. After spending three years in an engineering class, I had definitely learnt my lesson. I can never forget the feeling of waking up every morning, walk into a lecture, walk out and hate the fact that tomorrow you’ll have to come back. I remember the small voice in my head that constantly screamed “you know where you belong”. Then next to me sat “charles”, the guy who wished that the lecture would go on forever. I would look at him and then it would click that I was an intruder in his world. I was literally living in his dream. I could definitely see that he was made to be in an engineering class and it is all he had dreamt about.

I was too shy to walk away from this world. Imagine a straight “A” maths and science student stuck in a “BA” class. I was too shy to live my own dream. Too shy to be the being that I was truly made to be. I feared rejection and the “you are headed for poverty” comments. I just went by and forced myself to believe that I would fall in love with “it”. I waited a long there years for the love to come and instead resentment grew on me. I hated the fact that I had chosen something that required me to put so much effort whilst I knew there was something out there that I was effortlessly good at. I resented the whole system that promoted and supported only science and regarded all else as useless. “Try to phone around for a bursary and see how quickly they’ll hang up once u mention the word BA”.

I now stand to change the stereotypes. If you are not prepared to embrace me and my calling perhaps cutting you loose is my only option. A “BA” is not less valuable in fact no degree is inferior to the next. We need positive role model in this field who are gonna come forward and prove that even with a BA you can still lead a successful and fulfilling life. Next time you see me racing down the road on my German convertible don’t assume that I have found myself a rich man, just know that those are the fruits of being innovative and following my true passion. “LOL”

Reaching For The Rain

Another Monday filtered in,
Enticing, and rapidly racing,
Like my weakened heart,
It’s come and gone;
Chores are done;
My spirit lies incomplete,
As sordid envy,
Enclosed in the refusal to forsake all others;
My heart still has a price to pay.

Then for a moment,
A brief breath away,
From the depths of seeming madness;
I gaze outside this window,
Framed. Alive. A beautiful barrier.
I see the rain…

Its raining again,
Pitter-patter raindrops,
Crashing gently against the dry, thirsty earth,
Crashing violently against my parched,weary soul;
The awareness of an endless storm raging within.

I’m on the inside,
And it’s still raining.
I see Love in the rain;
The labour of an unspoken grace;
The fortitude of being vested on the inside,
Sentenced by the power to resist.

I can feel the rain falling on me;
The freedom of residing in the inner courts;
Who’s to judge it’s worthiness?
As I navigate the threads of truth;
A limited pursuit;
Soul-less, drenched and dried.

Remain on the inside,
There where the rain still reaches;
Quite the words that intend to bring solace,
And clad the purer parts of you in a trench-coat;
Do not fear to tread upon,
The many colours of secret spaces
And stay silent in the midst of peace.

Come out of your hiding place,
Like the umbrella who brings
A yearned for freedom,
Under-written and undeserved;
And cover my vacant soul
Before it starts to rain again.

The Loss

The water spilt…
The sun took cover in the mountains depths
Darkness made his way to inner land and into our home.
The joy that came with the morning rise,
Was sucked in dry by the sponge that rested in our joyful stream,
The smiles were wiped away;
The only light we had was the comfort from the moon
And the candle light from those we grieved with.

If life’s intention was only a story book this thick,
That only allowed us to go this far,
So the pages in our story ended in the tragedy of yesterday;
I wish to own a magic stick,
So I can re-live the former pages that contain your existence.
If life’s intention is that I carry on further than today,
I wish to own a magic wand,
So we can re-write a different tale from this.

Time will heal…
We’ve reached a chapter where such words are meaningless,
Where all we hoped and believed in has come to test,
And only higher powers make sense.
Though no one understands the heart behind the smile,
And the number of tears we shed;
With my eyes closed I still see your form and long to hold you dearly,
But all I could hold is a bouquet of beautiful memories.

The sun made its way back to inner land and into our homes,
And with it joy and a privilege for knowing someone like…. (You)
Wish God could have spared you just for a few more years;
But you honoured a request from the Father’s call.
The peace within helped us look beyond earth’s shadows,
Gratitude for the stories we wrote yesterday,
Made its way in our hearts;
You were another beautiful flower picked from His beautiful garden.