The Pain of Wondering

Into the night I will run
Run away from you and yours
I will run towards the scorching sun
My struggle was behind closed doors

But then you catch me and I fight
Still I get pulled under again
I look around, I can’t see the light
You are different than you were then

My love for you suffocates sometimes
But you look at me and my heart climbs
Your love for me seems like an act
Filled with everything I ever lacked

You say you love me yet I do not know
If anything you say holds truth
You have screamed and begged me not to go
I am slowly losing my youth

Sometimes your love really does show
And yet I am still unsure
Maybe your love and lust faded a long time ago?
Maybe being together was just a bit premature?

But still I am enthralled by you
I will forever be under your spell
You are permanently etched like a tattoo
And I’ll never be able to say farewell

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