If today was my last day on earth and somehow I knew;

I’d spend my last hours with you;

I’m not sure about my fate when the Lord one day calls me;

Or where I’ll spend eternity;

 

So I want to make my last day as if it was Heaven on earth before I leave;

I’ve had money all my life but never a single day of peace;

I’ve always wanted love but it always slipped away from me;

And left me with tears at night so lonely;

 

But then we met and I finally found sanity;

Who knew, peace and love would come in the form of you;

I was always looking for something else girl that’s the truth;

So if today was my last day to live and somehow I knew;

 

Girl I’d spend every last second loving you.

You are my only regret;

Sometimes I wish that you and I never met;

Even though I was too blame;

Girl ever since I’ve loved you I just haven’t been the same;

 

I keep wishing to go back to the day we had our first fight;

So I could stop myself before I ever made you cry;

Cause I need you here tonight;

I miss you more than I ever thought that I would;

 

In time I thought I’d forget about you;

It’s been years but missing you is all I seem to do;

Love since us has come in and out of my life;

But it’s never felt as right as when love was you and I;

 

I know you don’t care anymore or even feel the same;

Cause so many times I’ve said sorry but all you do is push me away;

I admit I am the one to blame;

But what more do you want me to say?

 

I’ve admitted to every one of my mistakes;

I can’t take back all the tears I once made you cry;

Or even those lonely nights alone when you longed to be by my side;

Sorry is all I can say;

 

I’ve tried it all to get you back but all you do is tell me that it’s far too late;

And that you could never trust me again;

Don’t leave me alone like this;

Cause you’re still the only girl that I miss

 

On this side of Heaven I never thought would come a day;

That an angel would ever come my way;

The Lord heard me as I prayed;

And He allowed an angel called you to escape;

 

Perfection such as yours I know must be heaven made;

Cause eyes like yours steals sunset’s beauty away;

I never thought you’d ever feel the same;

But you did and here we are in love today;

 

Please understand if I take it slow;

It’s so I don’t scare you away and you choose to ever let me go;

It’s not that I don’t love you, I just find it hard to show;

Love before you came damaged my soul;

 

But I’m sure I want to love you the rest of my life;

And If I had my way you’d already be my wife;

If you find this hard to believe sometimes;

Know that my kisses never lie…

Rumours have it that you’re the reason I found fame;

And that every word I wrote was based on you, I just can’t believe you’re so vain;

So I’ve decided to set the record straight;

Even though you thought I loved you, truth is the girl before you occupied that space;

I used you to get over her, I’m sorry to say;

 

You were just another pawn in love’s ruthless game;

I never wanted to tell you the truth or let it come out this way;

But you challenged my talent as if you’re the reason I’m made;

When the truth is I just used you as a Band-Aid;

 

To get over what used to be, I used you as a sex slave;

Like a drug, I used you as an escape;

I may have cried when you left me;

But those were tears of joy and not of pain;

 

I may have used you as an example but that’s exactly how I used you every other day;

So really looking back girl what’s changed?

I ain’t bitter, I’m just upset at all of this;

People around my way saying you’re the reason for my gift;

 

So I decided to retaliate and tell you the shit you never knew;

Girl don’t you think if I really wanted you for life, that I’d still be with you;

I’m sure the questions have surfaced, if that was the case, why’d I run you through?

Maybe it’s because I never gave a fuck about you?

 

You were damaged and easy to fuck, Kirsten my bad,I thought you knew;

But since you claimed my whole book was based on you;

I thought I’d finally tell you the truth;

You weren’t the love of my life, you were just another fucking substitute

 

There are just something’s that a heart can’t forget;

And loving you is something I haven’t been able to forget ever since you left;

You captured my soul ever since the day we met;

And since then on you my hearts been set;

 

You showed me that real love wasn’t based on pain;

And ever since, I’ve never been able to find love like ours again;

Now days girls make love out to be a game;

And I’ve lost every time that I’ve played;

 

Where is the kind of love I once got from you?

A love that was so true;

When we met girl I was still a prisoner of what used be;

So I couldn’t give you the best of me;

 

I was a causality of love’s cold war;

I was blinded by the pain that you never saw;

I admit I should have told you the truth;

But I was so used to losing love and girl I didn’t want to lose you;

 

So I pretended to love you and lead you on;

I wish I knew that you were the one;

Then I would never have done you wrong;

But now it’s too late;

 

And I can’t get back our yesterdays;

I’d take back all the times I made you cry if I could;

I’ve tried changing your mind, but girl you just refuse;

You say that I should have weighed up the costs;

 

Before I ever hurt you and your love I lost;

Girl life doesn’t have a guide book;

I wish it did, then I’d still be with you;

But since it don’t then I’m sitting alone in my room;

Looking out the window as tears fall from my eyes;

 

The same tears I once made you cry;

I used to choose my friends above you;

And wasted time that I should have been using to love you;

Now all those friends are gone and I’m all alone;

 

Wishing you’d be the next one to call me on the phone;

Every time it rings I rush to pick it up;

Hoping it’s you but it never was;

So I argue every day with God above;

 

Asking Him If He knew I’d be blind and I’d do you so wrong;

Why did He send you at all girl?;

Yes you opened up my eyes and it’s a hard lesson that I’ve learnt;

But this lesson was unnecessary and girl it hurt;

 

I am finally the man you always wished I’d be;

But who do I give this man to now that you no longer next to me;

I treat girls like I should have treated you;

But they play the game of love and yet again I loose;

 

Is this Karma’s way of paying me back for all I put you through;

I’m not sure, all I know is that I’m still in love with you;

I only realised how much I loved you the day you told me that we’re through;

God turns a deaf ear whenever I pray about you and I;

 

Asking Him to send back the only love of my life ;

Although you’ve found someone new, my love for you has never died;

When you left you set the bar of love far too high;

Girls can’t reach that level no matter how hard they try;

I thought I’d forget you after all this time;

 

But I still remember everything we shared as if it happened last night;

I know you tried being friends and it failed;

I can’t just be friends with the girl who once stole my heart away;

You still mean more than this world to me;

 

And at times I still find it hard to breathe;

Whenever our song takes me back in time and I’m haunted by what used to be;

I come to realise that we may never get to love here again on this side of Heaven;

But when I die I asked God to give me the chance to love you once again;

 

So I can take the chances I never did back then;

Cause I’m sure you were the girl that was made just for me;

How can I be so sure people might be thinking;

I’m sure because love was never as perfect as when you once loved me….

 

People say fame and money changed me;

Yes I agree, I’ve learnt that money don’t grow on trees;

Just because I’ve relocated to GP;

Don’t mean I’ve forgotten from where I once came;

 

Secunda will always be my first love come what may;

MP birthed me before fame ever called my name;

And I’ll always give MP its props in everything I say;

Even if those that once surrounded me said I’d fail;

 

I’m a tenacious nigga so I made it anyway;

And although GP is my new home, my love for Secunda will never change;

They were the best memories I ever made;

My very first love that broke my heart;

 

Me and her used to make love at the “Duck Pond”;

And I must admit;

GP is not for the faint of heart, I’ve never been one to quit;

But ever since I’ve moved here, all I’ve endured was shit;

 

There’s constant heat from the Metro Police;

And dead bodies on the highway is all I see;

I wish I could return to MP;

Where life was so easy;

 

Here “friends” I’ve made are all dope fiends;

And at every opportunity them niggas want to do you in;

I’ve only been here for 3 years, but I’ve been shot twice and stabbed numerous times by those I kept closest to me;

Women here I’ve found are A grade ho’s and bitches;

Only chasing white lines and riches;

GP ain’t what they make it out to be;

If I could I’d return to the place that own’s my heart, MP is calling me;

Over time I’ve seen that GP ain’t the place for me;

My nigga’s I miss MP

 

You found me at the bottom of a bottle;

Drowning in the depths of my sorrow;

A stranger gone too far to forgive;

A man dying with no will to live;

 

Then you held me so close to your heart;

And you told me it’s going to be alright;

You’re the reason that I’m still alive;

These are more than just words that I write;

 

So thank you for saving my life;

You came to me and picked me up from the sand;

You wiped my tears away and told me that you understand;

Guess you were my guardian angel, a part of God’s master plan;

 

We’ve been best friends ever since that day;

16 years now and the bond just gets stronger every day;

The love I have for you never changed;

Even though I’ve moved miles away;

 

I tried to call so many times but your number has changed;

I know you must think I forgot about you and made friends new;

When the truth is I’m alone and I’m really missing you;

I trust no one, I’m sure you always knew;

 

At times you’re heavy on my mind;

In my room wiping away the tears that I cry;

Regretful for moving and leaving you behind;

I miss having my best friend by my side;

 

I was always the loud one and you were so quiet;

I always said how I feel and you kept all your feelings inside;

Somehow that combination worked out;

And wherever I was you were always around;

I’m sorry for all the promises I broke that let you down;

 

If I could, I’d take them all back right now;

And the mistakes I made;

No matter what I did you always treated me the same;

For that I’ll love you always;

 

Us meeting was more than just coincidence, it was fate;

Looking back now, it was God who sent you my way;

Life’s been unfair to both of us since our younger days;

We cried the same tears, even though I problems weren’t the same;

 

It’s the little things you used to do that occupied the biggest part of my heart;

You gave my life a brand new start;

Your heart is one of a kind, more precious than gold;

Things I knew but I never told;

 

I always took your friendship for granted and I’m so sorry;

Hindsight is always 20/20;

I was young and blind but now I see;

How much your friendship means to me;

 

For all the calls you made that I used to ignore;

I’m so regretful, how now I wish you’d call;

And the next time my phone rings it’s you on the other line;

But it never is and It makes me miss you like all the time;

 

You were there even before fame called my name;

When everybody said my poetry was lame and I’d never make it one day;

You still stuck around and never cared about what people had to say;

You told me I’ve got a gift from up above;

That I’ll change the world one day, you told me never to give up;

 

You were my biggest fan before I ever reached the world’s stage;

So I always told myself If I make it someday;

You’ll be the first one by my side;

Cause without you I wouldn’t want the spotlight;

 

People always judged us in our younger days;

Said we were bound to fail;

But those same people are the one’s who now hang onto every word I say;

Luckily I’ve lived long enough to spot the fakes;

 

Thank you for always being the you God made;

Even if at times you hated your silent ways;

If you ever changed who you really were we wouldn’t have been best friends today;

And I’d have ended my life, you are the reason I never chose to go that way;

 

Zano, you are more than just a friend, you are a brother to me;

Even though I’m no longer around like I used to be;

In my heart you are always close;

You are the best thing God did, for you I thank Him the most;

 

Do you remember the first poem I ever wrote;

It was to thank you for always being my friend;

“You are like the brother I never had, I wish I met you sooner maybe then my life wouldn’t have turned out this bad”, You always loved that one my friend;

So thank you for being there even when I hurt you so;

 

Thank you for never walking away or letting go;

Thank you for being there in good times and bad;

You are the best friend I ever had;

I thank God He made you, you might not mean much to other people;

 

But my friend you still mean more than this world to me.

 

Nigga you said you’d never leave my side;

Then why am I here alone speaking on this cold mic;

Telling those in front of me about the best times of your life;

I shouldn’t be doing this alone but now I’m forced too since you died;

 

Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I remember our good times;

I’m a man of many words yet this is so hard for me to explain;

My best friend passed and even though it wasn’t my fault,nigga I feel blamed;

You were always there my nigga and I never thought that would change;

 

I’m watching your mamma weep;

You always said she was the only reason you had to breathe;

I wish I was in Heaven now with you so I wasn’t forced to speak;

You always asked me to talk if you ever die before me;

 

My nigga, yes I admit I always agreed;

But I’m lost for words and my tears are blurring my written speech;

I never thought that this day would come;

That I’d have to live without you like the night does without the sun;

 

Regrets fill my mind as I remember the times when I never appreciated your presence;

How I wish I could take them back now that I’ve learnt about common sense;

You were always there when I had no one;

Now here I am again all alone;

 

I wish Heaven had a hotline;

So I could call you from time to time;

Or God could swap my gaurdian angel and make that guardian angel you;

Cause nobody else knew me like you knew me;

 

And as the service ends and everybody leaves;

I know that my pain will never fade and I’ll never find peace;

So I’ll pray to God that one day when it’s my time and I go;

That He sends you to come and fetch my soul;