Archives for September 27, 2013

When the innocent perish

I think God is unfair
for He allows the innocent to perish at the hand of the wicked.

He allows their hard earned honest materials to be stolen,
watches as their loved ones are raped, killed and tortured,
Folds his hands while the leaders exploite the poor
and sends drought, storms and earthquakes to take what little they have.
Even though they worship God,
follow His commanments, pray and read the Bible
All the while the wicked rejoice,
And the preachers say “Have faith. Things are gonna get easier”
How can you have faith when the innocent perish?

Little faith

Left Me On My Own

Got the news today;
You past and went far away;
Sorry I left you alone;
Was trying to get a better life;

Was sick of constant strife;
I tried to make a better way;
So we could stop begging God for better days;
Now I’m here by your grave;

Drinking and thinking of the things I failed to say;
Tears fall as I think back on high school days;
Skipping class and embracing thug ways;
Trying to act big, drinking hood memories away;

Didn’t always answer your calls;
Life got hectic, was trying to survive all of life’s falls;
Pouring liquor on your tombstone;
Wondering why you left me on my own;

Wanted us to grow old;
Tears falling with every verse;
In one instance life just got worse;
All I got left is this cemetery dirt;

To my left I see your mamma cry;
Told me you just sorted out your life;
Asking why I moved away;
Said since I up and left you ain’t been the same;

Pray you forgive me someday;
Miss you my brother, guess we will meet again one day;
But one day is too far, I need you today;
I promised I wouldn’t cry when the Lord took you away;

I tried but you were too close to my heart;
So it kind of made smiling hard;
Most people are fake;
So you could never be replaced;

I wish Heaven had a phone line;
So I could speak to you from time to time;
But all I do is write you letters with words of rhyme;
I’ll keep them safe and deliver it to you in person when I die;

You always were my biggest fan;
Said my words would change the hearts of man;
Never knew then but now I understand;
You saw my talent when I was still a young man;

Words are empty without you next to me;
Who else will understand these words they read;
I’ll never forget you and I pray when I leave;Your face is the first face I see in eternity….

My Life (In My Own Words)

Born to fail but I still made it;
Even though parents separated;
Broken home;
Too young to know why everyday alone;

Always wondering why mama was gone;
Thought it was my fault all along;
Daddy never cared, coward was never there;
Constant beatings was the only love he ever shared;

Still loved him through all my despair;
Grew older;
Heart turned colder;
Turned to the streets;

Become a hood soldier;
Hung out with the thugs;
Even though they sold drugs;
They showed a young nigga love;

So I became street smart;
Endless fights made me brave at heart;
Nobody knows its hard when no one loves you, hard to carry on;

Had so many step daddy’s;
All hated me;
Bringing constant heat, at night pain made it hard to sleep;
All while life was going on without me;

Made me hard;
Soulless eyes, soul became dark;
Hardly at home, found more love on my block;

Born white don’t mean life was easy;
Life ain’t racist colour don’t stop life from being sleazy;
Never knew love then I met her;
Gave her my whole heart, before I never knew doubt tears or hurt;

Till she did me in left me cold, my soul burnt;
Still hurt today by every cold lesson I learnt;
Every girl after that I never gave a chance;
Hurt them before they hurt me so it didn’t last;

Nobody knows the pain inside;
See my smile but not the war in my mind;
Alone at home, tears falling from my eyes;
Contemplating suicide;

Asking God why I’m alive;
Why He never killed me before I arrived;
Never knew peace;
Until I hit the streets;

Drunk and high, just to maintain;
Living life in the fast lane;
Niggas Rollin up on me;
I was white, , considered me a fool, trying rob me;

Been too long in this game, years of street smart;
When they tried, I never spoke;
Just pull a nigga close;
Bust his ass, made a nigga choke;

See in the hood, questions are never asked;
Niggas gave me respect after that;
Though I was light;
They made me one of their own;

Got baptised in the street, nicknamed me “Kribo”;
Used to go to the hood clubs till daylight;
Too dangerous for me my race claimed;
So I was the only white;

Fights broke out all the time;
Never knowing if its my turn to die;
No man alive;
Witnessed struggles that I survived;

Too many close calls;
Fed up and went to church;
2005 got saved;
On mothers day, then baptised;

Must admit pastor lied;
Said from now life would be easy on my heart;
But life just became even more hard;
Niggas of old turned against me;

Suddenly I was an enemy;
No matter how they tried;
Niggas couldn’t end my life;
Gunshots knives and gang fights;

Every one I managed to survive;
So I was forced to give up on the hood;
I missed the street life, was on my own;
Evicted from the place I called home;

Rolling solo, focused on my life;
Blessings from above made niggas envy me;
They never knew,
When you have Gods favour, Heaven follows you;

Was a prince cause Jesus was my king;
Never knew the power of the blessing;
So He sent me the perfect girl;
But I wasn’t ready so I never appreciated her;

She loved me instantly, though I didn’t know her;
Damaged by my past so I hurt her;
She stuck around 2 years with the constant pain;
The day she left I only realised she was a once in a lifetime;

Since she left I ain’t been the same;
I was to blame;
Tried to get her back;
It was too late;

Years passed thought I had life on track;
Forgot about karma and its pay back;
After she left;
Karma came to collect the debt;

Met a new girl so she did me the same;
Finally understood my once in a life time girl’s pain;
Promised to never break any heart again;

Gave up my studies for that first girl who left me in the rain,
Started from the bottom uneducated nigga again;
But God made me a way;
Got the finer things in life even if I still have pain;

I’m still a prisoner within;
Things that happened in the past still control me;
Will this pain ever leave;
My soul like my body wishes to be free;

Mama asks will I change?;
I say yeah;
But its clear i’ll always be the same;
Some pain never leaves;

Impossible to erase these memories;
People think I’m f*cked up cause I hate everyone around me;
Just a shell of who I used to be;

Shut the world out cause even those closest seem to hurt me;
I am what I am before you judge me;
Take time to see where I’m coming from;

Days are short and nights seem long;
Nobody understands where my cold stares come from;
Branded me a cold nigga, an outcast;
Look past my smile and see my troubled past;

Only have one friend in life;
Only nigga who picked me up;
Never see him now days;
I miss my thug;

Zano is his name;
Only nigga who took time to understand my pain;
Though you are far, you remain on my brain;
Wish you was with me today;

Lies stories and alibi’s;
When I needed people the most they put my heart on lay bye;
Claim to have my back;
Why then when I needed them most did they always slide;

Don’t let my smile fool;
I’m hood smart, don’t fight every battle like I used too;
Choose my battles so I never loose;
Don’t push me there is a thug within who wants to be loose;

I know the damage he can do;
I killed niggas for less than the shit you try to;
Been in jail more times you ever knew;
Secrets I choose too keep;

Hood code, taught to never snitch,
My silence is the first clue,
Don’t push me further, nigga i’m a silent assassin
II’l kill you;

My life you never knew,
Chose not to show you,
Cause you will never understand,
Cant embrace another’s pain until you’ve been through the same struggles of another man;

So next time you pass me by;
Remember the words of my troubled life;
Before you judge my cold ways,
Try and endure the struggles that I survived…..


Thinking torrent thoughts
Writing words relentless

Injecting pain into my pen
Bleeding onto this page

Draining out this damned dam
Flooding up a stage

Spewing out thwarted feelings
The wretching fills your ear

Purging pseudo poetry
After an emotional binge

Hanging these words to dry
I’m koshering myself
Salting my wounds

Confessing all on a canvas
Splatterings of grey matter

But still haram
Uncleansed and impure

Tainted perspectives
Skewed systems

Scrubbing with scribbles
Can’t be washed away

Dirtied mind
Broken words

Spoken in vain
Relief but no release