Considered just a nobody nigga lost in the game;

Overlooking my tommorows till they finally came;

Mamma prayed for God to bless her only child;

Now all she got to do is sit back collect my riches and smile;

 

My every move is a calculated step;

My mind is like a game of chess always anticipating what’s next;

Always doubling up my game to stay one step ahead;

Never gave up even when all I heard was no;

 

Now it’s time to blaze the world with my words of flow;

To my nigga’s that stay high just to maintain, I understand the pain,nigga I know;

But I ain’t got far too go;

I’m keeping that promise I made back before we were even grown;

 

As I move up, we move up as one;

You never gave up on me and picked me up from every fall;

With every rise, wiped the tears from my eyes and I came back even stronger than before;

See I’ve been in this game since 2001;

 

Now I sit and wonder if the world is ready for my mother’s celebrity son;

To all the bitches and bitch niggas from my past that said I’d never be what I’ve finally become;

That just used me and lied;

Who broke my heart, saw my tears and  smiled;

 

That said I was nothing but a big waste of time;

Who threw me aside when I treated you like one of a kind;

Who left me for dead never thinking I’d ever rise;

You may have laughed back then when I cried;

 

But baby I’ve come to let you know, it’s finally my time to shine

 

One thing we all have to face is death;

So on the day I breathe my final breath;

There’s a few things I want you to do;

I don’t want to see you cry, what’s the use;

 

I want you to party with 2pac “Life Goes On”;

I want all my nigga’s to sing along;

I don’t want a pastor to read from the word that day;

It’s too late to change my fate;

 

Instead I want my nigga’s and family to grab the mic;

And reminicse on my life;

I don’t want anyone to be in a suite;

I want it to be casual so keep it true;

 

At my grave I want each of you to throw sand on my soul;

I want only white roses layed on my tombstone;

Dear Mamma, you are the only one allowed to cry;

I was your only son that’s the only reason why;

 

To my doggs, I’ve been saving up for this day;

There’s a bottle of Hennessy and cigars so you can sip and blow pain away;

For those who stay high just to maintain;

I’ve left some cash so you can get some drugs and party at my grave;

 

I don’t want any of you to leave early;

I want you to keep my memory alive and embrace my legacy;

To those who didn’t care about me while I was alive;

I don’t want you at my funeral, don’t waste your and my time;

 

To those who hated me don’t bother keeping up appearances and pretend;

I don’t need your sympathy or respect;

I lost respect for you while I was alive and it never changed at my death;

To those who ran me through;

 

Don’t worry I forgave everyone of you;

But it wasn’t out of weakness, it was out of strength, I did it for me and not to please you;

I needed to release hate to enter Heaven’s gates;

I refused to let hate send me to endure hell’s flames;

 

To my ex lovers if any of you decided to come;

I’m sorry for all the dirt I’ve done;

I was living in the fast lane, life of a thug;

It wasn’t personal, I just found it hard to trust;

 

To my niggas, there’s only a few;

Let me mention you by name so you know who I’m referring too;

Brother’s Ian and Brian Nxumalo, Leroy Links,Rynel “NiteMan” Classen, Elzano “Zano” Cloete,Keith ” Kat” Van Rooi, Colin “Patat” Ross, Ronald “Ronnie” Cloete, Lerato “Allan Keys” Amor , Bongani Goliath, Tumelo Dibakoane, Reagan “Oom R” Smith, Anthony aka “Voeltjie”, Sidney “60” Fortein, Grant Jacobs, Eugene “Gino” Schwartz, George Loliwe, Damian Moodley,Ghershone Veldschoën, Heinrich “Milo” Bridgens, Nazley “Naz” Booysen;

Forgive me for those I failed to mention, I include you if you were my nigga and remained true;

 

My funeral will probably be full of white people but don’t worry or care;

Now you’ll finally know how I felt when I rolled with you and got those same cold stares;

Forgive them, people find it hard to change;

I got so used to the race hate, when it never happend it felt strange;

 

Now I know some of my nigga’s are crazy and lost their mind;

But at my funeral party I beg of you don’t fight;

This party is just for you, I tried my best;

So for once drink and smoke in peace out of respect;

 

To the nigga’s I buried before my last day;

Come escort my soul so I don’t get lost along the way;

Come join the party, I know my doggs have been missing you;

So too my nigga’s especially “NiteMan”, make room for “Ike & Dru”;

 

To all my enemies I hope you chose to stay away;

I’ll make sure my nigga’s make it your funeral on the same day;

But instead of a funeral they’ll just piss on your grave;

See I never had time for bitch nigga’s who were fake;

 

Now I know this is not the traditional way;

But I don’t care I was born crazy;

I’m sick of attending funerals where everyone seems dead;

We only buried one person, you weren;t one of them;

 

I’m in a better place;

I want to see a smile on your face;

I want you to celebrate my last day;

If you asked me too, even if I was the only one I’d do the same;

 

Just to make sure my instructions are followed to the tee;

I’ve included it in my last will and testimony;

That nigga handing out my millions to some of you will also be there to see;

If it’s not followed, nobody is getting a cent, it’s going to charity;

 

I told you I trust no one so I took precautions so I can rest in peace;

I won’t let anybody pull a fast one on me;

I’ve learnt to be one step ahead of the game;

This is the way I want to have my last day

I was born an angel with broken wings;

Endured underserved things;

Too young to understand the reasons why;

Life is all good, I was fed that lie;

 

I was filled with anger not seeing God’s plan;

He never made a mistake even though I believed it, He dealt me my bad poker hand;

Later He told me “The best poker players win with the worst cards’;

So I stopped feeling sorry for myself and became a man;

 

Since birth He was empowering me with constant pain;

Struggles I survived were set to associate my name with fame;

A soldier sent to flip this dirty game;

To help my people avoid life’s hidden traps;

 

I want to give them a restart, a chance to get their life back;

I want to set free those bound by a prison of regret;

To let them know it’s time to forget;

I’m sick of seeing broken hearts all around me;

 

Lost souls seeking answers, I’ve got the key;

I’m here to set those doing time for their past free;

Maybe this was my purpose, I’m still uncertain;

But it’s become my passion to remove burdens;

 

I wish emotional pain on nobody;

Cause everybody needs somebody especially when they are hurt and lonely;

I want that somebody to be me;

A man wise from tears, born brutally honest and deep;

 

Who’s not afraid to tell the truth even if it hurts;

I’d rather tell the facts;

It will only hurt a while, but you’ll thank me one day when you look back;

I’m who God made me to be;

 

Those who know I don’t pretend to be who people expect me to be;

I don’t care if it makes me popular or not;

I’m here because of God’s love;

I want to make a change before I’m sent back to Heaven above;

 

The truth about life starts in a family home;

It’s time to stop protecting kids from the truth, life’s ruthless so let them know;

You’re killing them even before they grow;

If you didn’t know now you know;

 

I’m sick of seeing children’s innocence bieng stolen;

Age 12 and forced to act with a mature soul;

Babies having babies because a man promised her the love she never got from her dad;

Yet when she’s pregnant, parents get mad;

 

Parents are the underlying cause;

They should have told her about life’s falls;

We’ve lost too many kids to tears,regrets and pain;

This is the bullshit I’m living to change

Reminicisng back on that night;

19 years old when I was forced to end another man’s life;

I tried to keep the peace;

But he kept on pushing me;

 

Heard him say I was a traitor cause I ran with a coloured crew;

I brushed it off and remained cool;

I left the club in silence;

But as I turned my back he started unecessary violence;

 

My mind went blank;

Woke up to a dead man;

My heart instantly sank;

Saw blood on the cold pavement;

 

Arrested by punk police;

Trying to explain but they didn’t want to know about me;

All I heard was I was guilty;

Locked up in a single cell surrounded by another 20;

 

Faced the judge and explained my self defense plea;

He agreed and set me free;

All I heard was the sobs of a grieving mother as I leave;

Trying to find relief;

 

I’ve never been one to fight no matter what;

Always trying keep the peace when shit went south;

I never thought I could end another life;

It happend so fast like evening turning to daylight;

 

Remorse turns to regret as I think back to that night;

When I never chose to end another man’s life

Girl I know that I shouldn’t be missing you;

You’ve moved on and found someone new;

I’ve tried to leave you alone;

But my heart was born to be your home;

 

Our love story was born up above;

A one of a kind of love;

I knew it since that first day;

When my eyes first saw your face;

 

I wanted forever with you;

But forever ended too soon;

Nobody could ever take your place;

I’ve had so many who tried but failed;

 

It’s not that I’m still stuck on you;

You only cross my mind when I want you too;

It’s not that I still cry everyday;

I’ve just that I’ve not met another like you babe;

 

I know you will never come back this way;

I had my chance but let it slip away;

Even though I’ve finally changed;

This changed man came far too late;

 

I wonder if I’m alone or do you feel the same way;

Not a day goes by that I don’t miss the love we once made;

I still miss your beautiful face;

I miss your kiss that always took my breath away;

 

I miss your smile;

I haven’t seen one that cute in a long time;

I even miss our fights;

And the make up sex we used to have to get us right;

 

Girl what can I say I still love you;

I can’t even pretend cause I was born to speak the truth;

It’s okay if you don’t feel the same;

Cause the way I feel will never ever change

Lost a few brother in my life;

Never knew it was your last day;

So I never got a chance to say goodbye;

I’m so sick of tears;

 

Lossing brothers I knew for years;

You always had my back;

Who will protect me now from them cowards swift attack;

Lost love a few times it’s true;

 

But your passing was harder to take;

Damn my niggas I miss you;

I don’t have heaven’s number;

So I can’t holla at you when I’m in trouble;

 

I can always find another new bitch any day;

But your life is something I could never replace;

I wish I knew;

So I could have made more time for you;

 

Things that used to get on my last nerve;

Are now the things I miss the most, guess this is what I deserve;

Got your face tatted on my arm;

Now that you’re gone I consider you my lucky charm;

 

I wonder what you’re doing up in heaven;

Wondering if I cross your mind sometimes;

Like you do mine 24/7;

Funny how I still see your face in every rainbows reflection;

 

I pray with knees on the floor every single night;

Asking God to let you read all the dear You letters I write;

Your presence is like voice without a sound;

With every passing breeze I know your soul is still around;

 

Staring at your name engrave in stone;

Tears scarring your tombstone;

Wishing you could come visit me like we do every christmas time;

Looking at the falling stars for a sign to see if you’re still fine;

 

I can’t control the after life;

But I hope you’re inside;

Hope God forgave you for all those naughty times;

Hope you catch every tear that fall from my eyes;

 

I wish I could rewind time;

So I could tell you the things that are now trapped in my mind;

Till we meet on the otherside;

With words of rhyme I keep your legacy alive

Rolling in a gang aint about doing crime or acting bad;

It’s about finding the kind of love you never got from your dad;

Getting high or doing drugs ain’t about addiction, it’s not about that;

It’s to subside the pain of a troubled past;

 

I got love for my fam, it’s not that I didn’t care;

I’m saying my dad should have been there;

As a son I needed love in my younger years;

I was too young to understand life or handle those tears;

 

I did what I had to do just to survive;

My heart grew cold from the effects of a hard life;

I was schooled by the streets;

I ain’t mad, it’s what eventually made me;

 

It’s where I was taught the way of the game;

I wouldn’t have it any other way;

I still thank God for the troubled past I endured everyday;

Some say I’m cold and corrupted;

 

But none of you know me like my thug brothers;

I have a strong but peaceful heart;

I just use my mind, control my ego and think smart;

Only have a few I call friends;

 

People took advantage of my gullible heart cause I let anyone who smiled in;

Now I show you who I want you to see;

So you never have another chance to ever get the best of me;

I wasn’t born cold or cruel;

 

This world turned me against you;

Just like an addict, he was never born that way;

This cold world flipped him and his heart went astray;

I don’t look down on addicts or my homeless brothers;

 

I can relate so I understand their struggles;

A broken heart can destroy the strongest of men;

I know cause I used to be one of them;

I was never fed from a golden spoon;

 

I hustled hard to escape the poverty of the hood;

See I gave up my dream, my future, my studies for a bitch I thought was down for me;

But she rolled and cheated on me with my best friend;

I had to fight the tears, take it like a man and start all over again;

 

I could have decided fuck this world and turn to crime;

But I chose the legal way and worked had to gets mine;

Worked 12 hours in the daylight;

Went to night school for 2 years every night;

 

Weeks on end I couldn’t afford to eat;

Paid rent and studies with my less than average salary;

See an uneducated brother with a criminal past can’t get a decent job;

But I had to do what I had to just to reach the top;

 

You came to late you only see the credits rolling and consider my life a love story;

You never saw the start only saw the glory;

So think before you choose to judge me;

Nothing in this life ever comes easy;

 

Those who claim it does are selling empty pipe dreams;

My smile hides the pain you never see;

I’m stronger today because of the struggles God sent me;

Those hard times showed me my strongest attributes;

 

Leanrt to use my mind and drop my attitude;

Wisdom came at the price of  tears I cried;

Learnt to read actions not believe people’s lies;

You can try and sell me anything you like;

 

I won’t believe a word you say, learnt to trust no one in this life;

Real friends I call brothers I only have a few;

Nightman, Kat, Patat, Zano and Ronnie;

My nigga’s I just want to thank all of you;

 

For never giving up on me no matter how I treated you;

Some day soon my name will be associated with fame;

And for all you did for me I’ll be able to repay;

We will sit back and laugh about our past days;

 

As we sip expensive liquor and smoke cuban cigars;

Riding around with drop top sports cars;

As I move up I’ll never leave you’ll behind;

We move as one until the end of time;

 

You’ll showed me love when the world threw me aside;

You had my back everytime cowards tried to end my life;

You’ll will always have the biggest part of my heart;

You’ll are the reason I made it this far;

 

People only see the end and never the troubled start;

If it wasn’t for you’ll I’d have been buried in an early grave;

So I thank you’ll not for money or fancy things but for the love you gave;

It’s the emotional deposits that mean more to me today;

 

I got all the money I want or need;

I got bitches every night beside me;

I learnt in the end when you’re alone at night money don’t mean a damn thing;

It’s my niggas who showed me love that mean more than material things to me;

 

So I salute my nigga’s who stuck by my side;

Who never left me alone even if it was at the cost of their own life;

So from me to you it’s ride till I die;

Niggas for life until the Lord calls my name and it’s time to say goodbye.

 

My own people threw me to the wayside;

So I turned to the street life;

In 1994, racsist hate was everyday strife;

People couldn’t understand why I chose that way of life, I was called a traitior by the whites;

 

I didn’t care, my coloured brothers showed me love without question even though I was light;

But I’m glad life took me that way;

Guess God knew I was never a fan of race hate anyway;

Although I hated my own race for apartheid;

 

I love my coloured niggas and that will never change;

Best race that outclasses them all even today;

They are smarter than the average playa;

They have the hottest women and you can’t even argue that case;

 

Bruin ou’s ain’t afraid to end your life, but they embrace peace;

They are all about loyality;

They know the essence of true humor, most are born to be funny;

Yet they got dying love for their community;

 

I love my coloured people cause without question they accepted me;

So to all the “bruin ou’s” from all the hoods and from every street;

I’m your biggest fan believe me;

You had my back when my own people disowned me;

 

Kind of how the Isralites abandoned Jesus;

Now I ain’t saying I’m Him;

But I’m showing love to a nation who adopted me so easily;

Nothing can beat your language;

 

Words if misunderstood can cause brain damage;

I learnt how to slang early, with blood I learnt to manage;

“Aweh, nxa ek’se” words that ooze class;

Yet if you reply wrong that could be the end of your ass;

 

In my days of youth;

As I was tryna earn respect in the hood;

My mouth caused alot of war, ignorace for a language I misunderstood;

Way before I knew the game;

 

Bieng white made it even harder to do;

Cause everyone wanted to test me as I was considred a fool;

But in time I earned respect, so I could cruise in the hood;

Things other whites could never do;

 

Earned my stripes through blood from them street dudes;

Grew up hated as an outcast in school;

Hated by teachers and most pupils;

All because I rolled with a coloured crew;

 

But I didn’t care, cause my niggas had my back that’s all I knew;

If shit went south whites left you standing in a middle of a fued;

But with my coloured niggas it’s ride or die, it’s how they do;

If you run from a fight and abandon your crew, the next one they gunning for is you;

 

So to all my “Bruin Ou’s” stay true;

This white nigga, your adopted son loves everyone of you;

You loved me when I had no where to turn too;

“Aweh my brasse, bly skangaka, dus al wat ek vra, forget everyone else, cause every one of you were already born diep nxa, die ander naaiers haat julle want hulle is jela”…..

 

Everyday is a different struggle;

In fear never knowing when God’s going to call my number;

Trying to stay straight but this sinful life got my soul in trouble;

Rising from one fall but another one just makes me stumble;

 

On the narrow road for a while but then I fall off cause my enemies lay it on me double;

The only one who ever really had my back was my mother;

Asking God when will I rise from my sleeping slumber;

Yet another love bullet just trying to recover;

 

There’s only one me and there will never be another;

All I’m asking is to appreciate me and not judge my life cause I’m your brother;

Thug life living but inside I’m a lover;

Believe me I understand your struggle;

 

It’s a life I once used to suffer;

Found in pain the key to success is to speak the truth;

I’m here a fearless soilder to remove the fake and to educate misguided youth;

I’m the mind who’s going to spark this move;

 

Most hate me and many seem to accuse;

I’m bieng me to help those that life has abused;

To stop death before it takes you too soon;

Just cause I was born white don’t mean I didn’t struggle too;

 

Time to change your point of view;

I lived a hard life that all can relate too;

Never had an easy life and was never fed from that “golden spoon”;

Never had a father who cared so I mad it on my own, but it’s all good;

 

I made it regardless of the fact that I was a sibling of the hood;

I woundn’t change one thing I’ve been through;

I’d do it all over just the same if I could;

It made me who I am and that’s the truth;

 

So if God gave me the chance to fix all my past bullshit;

I’d kindly refuse;

Cause I made it even though I was born to loose;

Just cause I was born white never meant I had it all good;

 

Life don’t see race, colour or creed, it does what it wants too;

So don’t get it confused;

The best poker players win with the worst cards, so accept the hand that was dealt to you;

Take it from one who made it, all you need to do is be the real you;

 

Be who God made you;

Stop trying to be somone new;

Cause the only one that’s affected at the end of the day is you;

I speak from experience, I used to be that fool;

 

Impressing people don’t matter, cause when you pass it’s just God and you;

He never makes mistakes that’s the real truth;

He made you with flaws and all for a reason;

Being who you were born to be is the key to real freedom….

 

It’s time to say goodbye;

Time to give back your pretty wings so you can fly;

So you can see how it is to be free even though I wish you’d stay mine;

Forcing love would be a crime;

 

But if this love is true, it will change your mind;

And hopefully you’ll fly back to me sometime;

I want you to be happy, don’t worry girl I’ll be fine;

I’ve endured things most men haven’t survived;

 

I’d rather be without you than see you cry;

I’d rather be honest than live a lie;

We can still remain friends if you’d like;

Just give me some time to sort out my life;

 

When I’m ready I’ll give you the sign;

Go on so long and find your Mr right;

All we can say is we tried;

It’s not our fault love has died;

 

Maybe I could have done more to change your mind;

But I’ll rather let you be happy than a prisoner of mine;

I’ll get used to bieng alone at night;

I’ll find another reason to wear my smile;

 

I’ll cherish the memories and all our good times ;

Don’t you worry I’m used to hearing goodbye;

I’ve become accustomed to it during my life;

If we are meant to be I’m sure you’ll be my future wife;

 

I’ll find inspiration in other ways;

Move on and forget about our yesterdays;

You deserve the best anyway;

But I’ll sure miss you alot babe;

 

I’m sory it was not enough, this is how I was made;

I’ll be fine trust me as I say;

Tears are but for a moment and can be wiped away;

Don’t let the tear stains on my face stand in your way;

 

I can’t predict the future but I pray you’ll return someday;

I’ll always be here waiting in the same place;

My love for you will never fade;

I might have found someone new but you could never be replaced;

 

She’s here to take up time until you come and re-claim your place…