Tainted Love

You used to hang onto every word I used to say;
Now you hardly listen, girl tell me what’s changed;
My smile used to turn you on, now you can’t stand the sight of my face;
Something is wrong, things just ain’t the same;

You hardly ever answer my calls, all I get is your stupid voicemail;
You never send me texts no more, when I send tem your way, you never reply;
You adored my love letters and they always made you cry;
Now when I give them to you, you just put it to the side;

You are always too busy to spend time;
And your family started to treat me unkind;
It’s like people around me know you’ve bid out love goodbye;
Whenever I ask, you say it’s all in my mind;

Then tell me why every convo turns into a fight;
And tell me who’s car is always parked outside;
Tell me why you always rush me home when I’m supposed to spend the night;
And tell me why your phone I pay for’s bill is so high;

Tell me who are you calling so much, cause I know you ain’t calling me;
Tell me who calls when I’m around that you need to take the call privately;
You ask me why I’m checking up on you, that I’m acting childish;
Your mother and uncles all cut me from a distance with their eyes in passing;

I feel like I’m in the twilight zone, I don’t want to accuse without proof;
But girl I know the signs of cheating love, it’s something I’ve been through;
Why don’t you just be straight and tell me it’s over between us two;
Why string me along girl, I’ve never done that to you;

Didn’t I always treat you like a queen and there was nothing I wouldn’t do;
Love has changed, something’s got in the way;
I’ve been here before, I’ve been played;
You aren’t the first girl to do me this way;

My whatsapp messages used to get an instant reply;
Now I see those two blue ticks and they make me cry when I can see you’re showing online;
You status says you’re in love with a naughty smile;
In love with who, cause it’s not with me, all we do is f*cking fight;

Your relationship status on Facebook is now single, tell me why?
You say it was your little brother messing around on your profile;
Girl you always have an excuse ready in line;
Tell me what I already know deep inside;

I don’t know what I didn’t do right;
I don’t know when our love was buried alive;
I can’t understand what went wrong no matter how hard I try;
Now Mamma brought me up right;

I can’t go pointing fingers and start to accuse;
I can’t go around playing Sherlock Holmes and try and find out the truth;
I’ll let bygones be bygones and without a word I’ll slide;
When he breaks your heart girl hit me up, I won’t reply;

You can put all the blame on me and make me the bad guy;
You can tell your friends and fam I hurt you and made you cry;
You can shift the blame, that’s what most cheaters do;
I just can’t believe that cheater would turn out to be you.

Letter From A Broken Heart

Dear Mamma, it’s been quite a while;

Since last we spoke and you cracked a smile;

Now days it’s seems all we seem to do right is fight;

We live in the same house but it feels like we’re living two different lives;


You seem to be busy and work late into the night;

When you get home I want to run into your arms and hold you tight;

As I approach you seem to anticipate something and sigh;

So instead of affection, rejection creeps in and wipes away my smile;


I don’t know where we went wrong, is the fault all mine;

I know one thing for sure, you and I are very alike;

You keep all you issues bottled up deep inside;

I do the same, hiding it from the world with a pretentious smile;


But I feel my time is running out with each passing day;

I’ve tried talking to you but it seems my words go unheard and astray;

You were once my cornerstone, the one I’d approach unafraid;

Lately my life has fallen apart as we’ve grown distant and joy has been replaced by pain;


So I’m writing you this letter to tell you I still love you will my all that will never change;

We may have drifted apart for reasons unknown, I’m sorry if I’m too blame;

I know often you’ve approached me and I’ve pushed you away;

Those times you did, life was getting the better of me, I’m so sorry for doing you that way;


Can we give it another try before you give up and get resentful towards me again;

I need you, you are all I have, my dad never gave a f*ck and that hasn’t changed;

He never calls me, he’s got a new family, he was never there and it’s still the same;

I know I’ve been a burden since I was in my teens, but I’m trying my best to make up for my younger days;


I’ve tried calling on heaven, the line seems to be engaged;

So whenever I pray, I leave Jesus a 911 voicemail;

In hopes He will move heaven and earth to make a way;

I must be doing something wrong cause He remains silent and I can only imagine I’m to blame, guess my sins messed up mine and His relationship like it has mine and yours or so I assume;


Whatever it is, know I’m sorry, I’m a saint with sinners problems, it’s not an excuse;

I’m trying to change, but I’m a result of life’s constant grind and abuse;

It’s hard fighting this war and I don’t know what else to do;

I’ve tried it all but it’s no use;


Tried being holy, but failed every single test;

Asked God to chill, I don’t need a teacher at the moment, I need a friend;

I guess He ain’t listening, feels like everything is falling apart and the pain never ends;

I often spend nights up late, cause my life is in a mess;


I can’t sleep, I haven’t got no peace, I’m in constant torment;

I don’t know where I’m going or what I’m going to do, truth be told I just wish the world would go into world war 3 and come to end;

So I can look up and see Jesus return again;

Either that or I’m hoping the next call I get is the grim reaper coming to collect my sin’s debt;


I want to end my own life, but I’m too scared of ending up in hell forever;

I’m alive but it feels like I’m part of the walking dead;

I just wanted you to know I love you and I’m sorry for causing you all that pain;

If I had a chance I’d go back in time and make up for all the tear stains I tattooed on your beautiful face.



Happy Birthday Angel Of Mine (20.09.90)

Girl you’ve been gone for quite a while;

It’s your birthday again in 2 days time;

A day where my face shares it’s space with tears and a smile;

Me missing you is no longer your concern but mine, girl this I already know;


I’ll still do what I’ve done every year since since my soul watched you finally up and go;

And every birthday since I’ve celebrated you all on my own;

With a cake,a single candle and a 5th full of Henessy with those songs we used to sing in those days of old;

I still cry every 20th of September and I probably still will long after I’ve grown old;


And even though we no longer talk, you get angry whenever we do;

Everything I say seems to frustrate you;

I no longer try like I used too;

You asked me to leave you be, for once I ain’t thinking about me but what’s important to you;


In 2 days time I’ll blow out that single candle and send that same old wish deep into the night sky;

That you might have a change of heart and mind;

And maybe by chance you’d return to me before I die;

That’s all I really need in my present life;


This love for you will never ever die;

Like a desert rose, against all odds it’s managed to outgrow and survive;

This love was born in heaven and within my broken heart it will reside;

Happy birthday angel of mine, I’ll always love you even beyond the sands of time

Reason Why (20.09.90)

Girl I’ve finally changed into a man and you’re the reason why;

I couldn’t see your worth while you were mine;

Selfishness and pride had me so blind;

My heart was stuck in the past, I should have told you the truth instead of living a lie;


If you could see me today, you won’t believe your eyes;

I no longer go out drinking and partying all night;

I no longer hurt anyone even if they hurt me, I choose to walk away with a smile;

I keep my word and I’m living how God made me to be, I no longer live a make-believe life;


I don’t have any friends, those ones that stole all our time;

I spend most of my time at home, I’ve become a success and you’re the reason why;

Yes, I regret and yes I still miss you every day and night;

I know you’re gone for good and it still makes me cry;


You showed me the meaning of true love and I’m forever grateful we met;

I haven’t forgiven myself for loosing you yet;

I still believe our forever came to an early end;

And if I could I’d do anything to get another chance to love you again;


I thank God for the brief moments we spent;

When you gave your all too me, it was all worth it in the end;

Even though you never got to see the reasons behind;

Why we met, I’m the perfect man, you’re the reason why

Undeserved Praise

Some call it fate, others call it my lucky day;

Even if I’m unsure from wence my blessing came;

I don’t care what others have to say;

As for me all I can say is it’s my Jesus anyways;


Some say I’ve lost the plot, others say I’m crazy of late;

But I know a little secret so I just smile and wave;

I’d give all I have away;

But I’ll never trade my Jesus come what may;


See I don’t know much and I’m the first to say;

But this one thing I know moves mountains out of the way;

When I give my Jesus that undeserved praise;

When I give Him praise on credit, when I’m not even sure if He sent the blessings of today;


When you’re in credit with Jesus, He hates debt, so He’ll make sure He clears His name;

Let me go a bit deeper and explain;

I need not beg whenever I pray;

All I need do is give Him undeserved praise;


Praise for things He never told me He has done or blessings He’s sent my way;

See I praise Him not out of need, but because He is the love of my life, He stole my heart away;

Nobody had to force me, He chose to patiently wait;

I fell in love with Jesus because He was faithful no matter how many times I’d fail;


Undeserved praise, Jesus I love to be in credit with Your name;

When I start singing from my heart and tears flood my face;

As I feel Your heart break when my words penerate the spiritual realm and knock on Heaven’s gates;

As the arc angels open those pearly gates and escort my praise;


And it lands at the foot of Your throne, putting a huge smile on Your precious praise;

You see what most fail to understand is You already have it all, the one thing You don’t is our praise;

So that one thing I will give You all the time until my final day;

Jesus I’ll always give You more than just any kind of praise, I’ll give You that undeserved praise.

Jesus I’m Sorry

I’m sorry for every single lonely tear I’ve forced from Your precious eyes;

I’m sorry for always choosing sin instead of choosing to do what You’d like;

And I’m sorry for taking Your presence for granted with every year gone by;

Jesus I’m sorry for only calling You in troubled times;


I’m sorry for the undeserved praises I never sent up to the sky;

I’m sorry for getting angry with You and starting a fight when I know the blame was all mine;

I’m sorry for not reading Your word when You beckon on me day and night;

I’m sorry for putting You last on my list, when You should be first in line;


I’m sorry for not going to church on Sunday mornings while I’m still alive;

I’m sorry for hating on Your people when I act selfish sometimes;

I’m sorry for complaining about the good and the bad things in my life;

I’m sorry for putting You to shame when You and Heaven look down and see me acting the fool at times;


I’m sorry for prooving Your sceptics right who told You to give up on me, I’m a waste of time;

I’m sorry for prooving the devil right when he laughs and tells You I’m only calling You when I need You to rescue me from the problems I’ve made;

I’m sorry for hurting You by putting girlfriends first, yet when they break my heart, then I know how too pray;

I’m sorry for wasting so much time in life, instead of pursuing the purpose for which I was made;


All I can say is no one convinced me or made my mind sway;

I fell in love with You because of Your faithfulness that has yet too fail;

For loving me no matter how I changed toward You, still You remain the same;

I don’t care what hell sends my way, You are the one thing I’ll never trade;


I can loose it all, as long as I still have my Jesus, then I’ll be okay;

So until my final breath, I’ll forever give You never ending deserved and undeserved praise;


Jesus (Nothing But The Blood)

Cursed is every one that hangeth on a tree;

You were born only to be crucified on a lonely old hill called “Calvery”;

Knowing beforehand the pain You’d endure and feel every little inch;

You were already a King and by default You already owned all the Glory and Praise;


Only to come and rescue the same people who threw Your Father’s love back in His face;

If I was You I’d never choose to do the same;

Knowing I was going to be killed by those I was sent too save;

Instead of admitting they made a mistake, between woman and man, they shifted the blame;


Only to point to that old serpant, the devil, the snake;

If they did my Father that way, I’d have said let them burn in hell’s flames;

I wonder how deep is Your love, that You thought my wretched soul worthy enough to leave Your throne just to die like a nameless slave;

Tears fall whenever I sing Your praise;


Tears of healing, a feeling words could never be worthy enough to explain;

Mountains turn to anthill mounds at the mention of Your name;

Hell said “It’s over”, they started the party when You passed away;

I guess they let down their guard and failed to notice You rise on that 3rd day;


I’d give anything just to see the devil’s face;

The moment You entered Hades and snatched the keys away;

While doing a double over death and the grave;

As You looked the devil straight in the eyes, snapped Your fingers and said “Hellllloo, I’m Baaack!!!”


That’s why I stand by these words so true;

“Nothing but the Blood of Jesus” for without the blood I’d be screwed;

People play the cross of as if it were a waste of time and loose the essence of You;

But Jesus, I wanna give You the biggest praise, the highest military salute, for I know, I’d be in Hell if it weren’t for You


Birth Place Of My Soul

Often I feel I’ve done too much this time;

And that there is no way back of which I can find;

My problems surround me like a starless night;

And worry has my spiritual man blind;


I feel like I’ve played You for a fool for the last time;

When I asked for forgiveness only to ask You the same thing the very next night;

If I was You I would have given up on me and turned away my face;

Yet it’s as if before I ask You come and offer me mercy and grace;

Things I will never understand about the depth of Your love, too hard to explain;


Things I could never live without and need more and more everyday;

Nothing can compare to Your ever lasting grace;

That You without question wash my sins away as if I never sinned in the first place;

Lord what makes You love me this way;


I know alot of girls just like me can’t understand why Almighty God would waste His power and time;

On a stubborn fool like me who can’t shake a sin filled life;

But whatever it is that makes You love me so much I am forever thankful and will be until I die;

The hell I went through here will be well worth the moment You and me lock eyes for the very first time;


And You say “Well done good and faithful servant” with tears in Your eyes;

While I can’t stand in Your presence and fall to Your feet and cry;

You lift me up and say “I have been waiting for this moment for a long time”;

As You replay all the prayers I sent to heaven at night;


Asking to meet You face to face and being disappointed when it felt like You ignored my cries;

When in fact You were right there by my side all the time;

Even before I called Your name while consumed by fear in the darkness of the night;

I just couldn’t see for in my spirit my vision was blind;


I can’t wait to feel what a whole heart feels like again;

It’s been so long that I’ve become used to living this way;

I forgot that I was meant to live like a King and not like a slave;

I was of a royal bloodline because of the living sacrifice You made;


I can’t wait to relive my childhood days;

That I miss so much now but were snatched away;

A place where I no longer miss my past and feel regret and blame;

For breaking her heart when I had no clue about life or love or the cost of making a mistake;


Where I can write You songs and poetry of praise;

And watch You read it with tears streaming down Your face;

Where we will laugh at my earthly days;

Where I acted the fool as if I was the most important person to be alive;


A place where there is no fear and a struggle to survive;

A place where real love resides and not the substitute love we’ve come to know in this life;

Where hearts are never broken and where no one can erase your smile;

Where everything is free and everything costs nothing;


Where I can come see You face to face without fighting opposing forces just to tell You something;

A place where my name is written in the Book of Life with gold etching;

Where I feel famous and have a mansion of my own to live in;

And no one can judge me or hurt me for their own selfish reasons;


Where the grim reaper’s clock is no longer ticking away;

Where I can walk without fear or worry for the rest of my days;

Where I need not fight temptation and loose all the time and not know why I do the same things over and over again;

Where I never have to worry about tomorrow and what it may hold;


A place where I don’t hate people but cherish them like gold;

A place where my tears are stored for me to see like the bible always told;

I can’t wait to go back to my first home;

The place I left to fight this war, oh I can’t wait to go back home, the birth place of my soul


Why I Fell In Love With Jesus

I will sing Your praise;

Everyday until my last breath from my soul finally escapes;

For someone so wretched as I You died just too save;

No one else would have done it, no one else could care half as much;


But You thought my soul worthy enough that You sent Your only son;

Some people only see my faults, that’s all they seem to see;

But Lord You see my flaws as attributes within me;

You consider me priceless, a price tag my eyes fail to see;


For when I look into the mirror, a worm is what reflects back at me;

Everyday my sinful and selfish ways hang You back as a cursed man on that tree;

Yet no matter what I do, You always find a way to supply every single one of my needs;

How can such a wonderful man such as You invest so much in a wretch as me;


You blessed me with a gift of words for me to give You praise;

Instead I use it for my own selfish ways;

By manipulating women and leading their hearts astray;

Leaving a ton of heartache in my wake;


A love like Yours I could never repay;

The mercy and grace alone would leave me in bankruptcy every day;

You saved me when You didn’t have too, I don’t just love You, I fell deep in love with You because of Your gentle ways;

You look past my sins as if I never sinned in the very first place;


When I ignore Your voice, You bless me anyway;

When I feel furtherest away from You, You make sure to bless me twice as much, as if to say;

My mistakes and flaws give You the biggest sense of purpose and praise;

So as for me Lord as I can say is ,Thank You Lord for all you’ve done for me when I didn’t deserve any kind of mercy or grace.

Hope He Turns Out To Be

Dear love of my life, I’ve decided to write you a letter to explain;

Why when you come home tonight I won’t be there waiting up like always;

Instead my things have been packed and I’ll be long on my way;

You may be confused cause it seemed we were deep in love just the other day;


I’d be a fool if I carried on acting as if nothing has changed;

Its been two months now that I’ve noticed something a little strange;

Your kisses have become few and cold;

Your phonecalls to say you miss me have become as rare as gold;


The little things you used to do to show me you love me are a thing of the past;

You’ve been coming home later with each night, “Work” is your excuse whenever I ask;

I tried to believe your every word giving you the benifit of the doubt;

When my heart was like it’s time to bounce;


I didn’t want to jump the gun and start to accuse;

I had no evidence and no reason too;

But girl I know the signs of failing love, when you’ve been replaced by someone new;

It’s become too much for me to bear, so I’m writing this to say goodbye to me and you;


Please don’t call or text me to explain or tell me your point of view;

I know the deal girl and I don’t need to hear another excuse;

When we started you promised me you were different and you’ll never run me through;

Yet here we are and you’re doing what you promised me you’ll never do.


My set of keys are on the table with all the gifts you once gave to me;

All the letters you wrote as well as the cards I’ve burned to set my soul free;

I don’t want to know his name or where you two met, I just want you to leave me be;

Girl I wish you well and hope he turns out to be what you never saw in me.