Lately I have death on my mind;
Wondering if the next name God will call is mine;
If so I’m in trouble, my life’s full of sin and I’m scared of that judgement line;
People claim I’m saved so I’ll be just fine;
But they don’t know that I’ve lived my life as a thug and I will until the end of time;
It’s too late to change now, I know cause I’ve tried;
Things I thought I shook still haunt me like every night;
To be honest, I’m sick of this endless fight;
If I knew being saved was this hard, nigga I’d have thought twice;
It ain’t about not loving God or any disrespect;
It’s about being real and being sick of all this shit;
Troubles haunt me as if I was fame;
At night lay awake, trying to subside my mind while I’m going insane;
Sipping Hennessy in hopes to subdue this pain;
I could lie;
And say I’m all good and life’s just fine;
But I’d only be fooling myself in the end;
Scars of the past are still real even If I pretend;
My broken heart’s still in pieces even If it seems like it’s whole;
My smile hides the darkness that consumes my soul;
I play life like a poker game, I bluff as if I’m about to win, when my hand is destined to fold;
I can’t see where I’m going cause today seems so dark;
I can’t look back to where I’ve come from because it’s littered with scars;
I don’t know how I even made it this far;
People think my life’s all good and I’m just ungrateful every day;
What they would give to enjoy the essence of fame;
Nigga I’d trade it for peace of mind any day;
If you knew the truth;
You see that fame is a curse;
If I could I’d trade it to go back to my birth;
With the wisdom I have now, just so I could undo all this undeserved hurt….
Speak Your Mind