Archives for January 29, 2014

Thank You For Saving My Life (Dedicated To Elzano Cloete)

You found me at the bottom of a bottle;

Drowning in the depths of my sorrow;

A stranger gone too far to forgive;

A man dying with no will to live;


Then you held me so close to your heart;

And you told me it’s going to be alright;

You’re the reason that I’m still alive;

These are more than just words that I write;


So thank you for saving my life;

You came to me and picked me up from the sand;

You wiped my tears away and told me that you understand;

Guess you were my guardian angel, a part of God’s master plan;


We’ve been best friends ever since that day;

16 years now and the bond just gets stronger every day;

The love I have for you never changed;

Even though I’ve moved miles away;


I tried to call so many times but your number has changed;

I know you must think I forgot about you and made friends new;

When the truth is I’m alone and I’m really missing you;

I trust no one, I’m sure you always knew;


At times you’re heavy on my mind;

In my room wiping away the tears that I cry;

Regretful for moving and leaving you behind;

I miss having my best friend by my side;


I was always the loud one and you were so quiet;

I always said how I feel and you kept all your feelings inside;

Somehow that combination worked out;

And wherever I was you were always around;

I’m sorry for all the promises I broke that let you down;


If I could, I’d take them all back right now;

And the mistakes I made;

No matter what I did you always treated me the same;

For that I’ll love you always;


Us meeting was more than just coincidence, it was fate;

Looking back now, it was God who sent you my way;

Life’s been unfair to both of us since our younger days;

We cried the same tears, even though I problems weren’t the same;


It’s the little things you used to do that occupied the biggest part of my heart;

You gave my life a brand new start;

Your heart is one of a kind, more precious than gold;

Things I knew but I never told;


I always took your friendship for granted and I’m so sorry;

Hindsight is always 20/20;

I was young and blind but now I see;

How much your friendship means to me;


For all the calls you made that I used to ignore;

I’m so regretful, how now I wish you’d call;

And the next time my phone rings it’s you on the other line;

But it never is and It makes me miss you like all the time;


You were there even before fame called my name;

When everybody said my poetry was lame and I’d never make it one day;

You still stuck around and never cared about what people had to say;

You told me I’ve got a gift from up above;

That I’ll change the world one day, you told me never to give up;


You were my biggest fan before I ever reached the world’s stage;

So I always told myself If I make it someday;

You’ll be the first one by my side;

Cause without you I wouldn’t want the spotlight;


People always judged us in our younger days;

Said we were bound to fail;

But those same people are the one’s who now hang onto every word I say;

Luckily I’ve lived long enough to spot the fakes;


Thank you for always being the you God made;

Even if at times you hated your silent ways;

If you ever changed who you really were we wouldn’t have been best friends today;

And I’d have ended my life, you are the reason I never chose to go that way;


Zano, you are more than just a friend, you are a brother to me;

Even though I’m no longer around like I used to be;

In my heart you are always close;

You are the best thing God did, for you I thank Him the most;


Do you remember the first poem I ever wrote;

It was to thank you for always being my friend;

“You are like the brother I never had, I wish I met you sooner maybe then my life wouldn’t have turned out this bad”, You always loved that one my friend;

So thank you for being there even when I hurt you so;


Thank you for never walking away or letting go;

Thank you for being there in good times and bad;

You are the best friend I ever had;

I thank God He made you, you might not mean much to other people;


But my friend you still mean more than this world to me.


You Said

Nigga you said you’d never leave my side;

Then why am I here alone speaking on this cold mic;

Telling those in front of me about the best times of your life;

I shouldn’t be doing this alone but now I’m forced too since you died;


Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I remember our good times;

I’m a man of many words yet this is so hard for me to explain;

My best friend passed and even though it wasn’t my fault,nigga I feel blamed;

You were always there my nigga and I never thought that would change;


I’m watching your mamma weep;

You always said she was the only reason you had to breathe;

I wish I was in Heaven now with you so I wasn’t forced to speak;

You always asked me to talk if you ever die before me;


My nigga, yes I admit I always agreed;

But I’m lost for words and my tears are blurring my written speech;

I never thought that this day would come;

That I’d have to live without you like the night does without the sun;


Regrets fill my mind as I remember the times when I never appreciated your presence;

How I wish I could take them back now that I’ve learnt about common sense;

You were always there when I had no one;

Now here I am again all alone;


I wish Heaven had a hotline;

So I could call you from time to time;

Or God could swap my gaurdian angel and make that guardian angel you;

Cause nobody else knew me like you knew me;


And as the service ends and everybody leaves;

I know that my pain will never fade and I’ll never find peace;

So I’ll pray to God that one day when it’s my time and I go;

That He sends you to come and fetch my soul;


Smokey Skies

Smokey skies
No definite shape
The clouds are without form
Even the stars
I can see it, even though my senses are numb …but yet
I can feel,
I can smell.
The strange smell of lust filtering through the air
And I can hear
The muttered sound that escapes from deep within him
Moaning and groaning words I do not want to hear
Sounds coming from a beast
I cannot escape them
The sound of moisture
The sound of his flesh pounding into mine…It’s so overwhelming .My God …my God why have You forsaken me !
Then there is the distant sound of someone crying
By the wetness on my face that must be me
But dear Lord how can it be
I counted a thousand stars or more
And yet the end is not in sight
Then there is the pain
That must be my soul being ripped from me
Leaving a deep gashing wound
In my heart, or is the pain between my legs
Lord he is so strong, the ground so cold
The world starts to move as he goes faster
Faster and faster he goes
I stopped counting the stars, suddenly they are to distant
I’m dead and alive at the same time
My heart stopped pounding and as he rises
It started to fall
Down, down…down
Below the dust of the earth
To join up with dignity and self respect and hope
And me…

The Familiar

Smelling your scent in places you haven’t been,
Where I you begin,
Taking apart something that’s woven in?

Apart for what feels like eternity,
But still not long enough
To let go of you, to shake this off

Certain that you’ll change but still be the same
That love may lie dormant,
But still it remains

Free from you but chained to you,
I long for the old,
But I stand immersed in the new

Convince myself I’ll learn to live with
Seeing you,
In his kiss

I’ll call this something other than yearning
I’ll give my heart away
LIke it isn’t in mourning

And years later,
Here where the grass is greener,
I will still long for the familiar.

A Bag Of Maize-meal

a bag of maize-meal
a brand new t-shirt
keep the dream alive
for us ekasi

gleaming SUV’s snake between tin cubicles and hazard pathways
uniformed motorcades make way through frenzied crowds
. . . the suspense . . . it adds to the excitement
YES! something big is about to happen

well orchestrated talk has always done the trick
Italian suits behind tinted shades
Yes change is finally here, . . maybe, this time . . .
tell a friend to tell a friend
Change, is here!

“this time we will get it right, only you give us one more chance”
well orchestrated talk always does the trick!!

a bag of maize-meal
a branded t-shirt, keep the dream alive . . .

bellows of dust rise high to the heavens
motorcades vanish into the distance

back to life, back to reality
YES! its always the same
a bag of maize-meal, a branded t-shirt

Blood Dust of the Karoo

Like an invading force from the north, the heat fueled wind wages war on lands already ravaged and weakened by a crippling drought. The brutal onslaught carves through the ground and the red Karoo dust haemorrhages out into the air, whipped into a crazed frenzy by a whirling wind dervish.

A bent, creaking windmill stands steadfast. A lone warrior with armour clanking and creaking as it absorbs the punishing, pummeling gusts, blades flashing and slicing with a speed that belies its age.

The cruel tempest relentlessly drives the blood red soil into funneled dust columns that swirl and twirl, until dizzy and dissipated by the force, the sand particles drift like displaced refugees over the landscape in a murky haze.

Howling a victory scream, the wind gusts away, still beating a swathe through dessicated trees and stunted grassland.

In its wake, the veld lies shredded. A few forlorn sheep pick their way through the debris like mourners searching for solace.

The windmill blades turn ever more slowly and then like a battle weary veteran, stand still……composed…..poised for battle once more.